Poker Night!

Last evening we had a small get-together at my place. A little poker game between friends. Recently, Judd began the long, slow road to being a poker master and I’ve tried to step up my discipline. Grand Masta Caspa and Bliggity Blaine rode the Oregon Trail all the way down from Pacifica to play a little $.50-$1 limit with us. Thank god they managed to ford the river without catastrophe. Finally, we were joined by Kendric and Ivan to truly make it the Poker Battle of Interesting Names. Judd, Zach, Ivan, Kendric, Blaine…. and Ryan.

I am now going to attempt to change subjects without a segue. It will be the literary equivalent of jerking my steering wheel a la derecha at 60mph to get from the carpool lane to the off-ramp.

Take look at this if, like me, you have fond memories of playing Dungeons & Dragons as a child. I have looked at it 2 separate times and visibly smiled each time. I would laugh out loud but there may be workplace penalties associated that I don’t wish to explore.

To persuade people to click on the above link, I should mention that the comedy within is located on a sandwich-creation axis as well as the implicit role-playing one. So if you find making lunch humorous but D&D somehow… not you may still be rewarded for your manual clicking labor.

Oops, wasn’t my exit — back on to the highway we go.

I have in my e-mailbox an eVite to a local poker game this evening. At first I wasn’t invited because the gentlemen thought me a ‘pro’ who would take all their money, cackle like Caesar Romero, and disappear into the night on my rocket sled. In truth I would most likely lose my money to them and swear like, well, me. I was going to say “like a sailor” but I tend to think my acquaintences have had far more exposure to my choice of naughty wordsmithery than that of our nautical friends, the sailors, or their even less well known relatives: the wounded pirates.

Speaking of sailors, do you think the Oompa Loompas that staffed Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Riverboat had special training? Or was Seafaring The Chocolate River 101 a required course to obtain one’s general purpose Willy Wonka Certified Engineer degree?

That, my friends, is known as a segue of the Second Order. Doesn’t quite make sense, but it leaves you confused long enough for me to escape through the side hatch. You’ll forget about my literary deficiences soon enough.

So there’s a remake of Willy Wonka coming out soon. Starring Johnny Depp and directed by Tim Burton. I’m happy to announce that there is a teaser trailer available at As a caring human eing, I was suspicious that Burton would attempt to remake a beloved movie. There is no valid reason to update my memories of Gene Wilder abusing children of all sexes, sizes, and colors. However, the trailer actually made me want to see the movie. A rarity indeed during these dark times of Son of the Mask, Baby Geniuses 2, and Christmas with the Kranks. Hopefully, with a little luck and a lot of skill, I will heretofore think of Johnny Depp whenever my mind wanders to the cruel treatment of naughty boys and girls. Gentlemen, you have your orders — good day.

While on the subject of movies (and with no further need for a segue in this arena), I’d like to point out that I’d really like to go see The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. I didn’t hate The Royal Tenenbaums as much as everyone else did, and I have a strange interest in seeing Bill Murray act WITH BEARD.

That’s about it for now. I’ll be updating tomorrow with my Poker Discipline Improvement Course, and tomorrow evening is the Annual Intuit Holiday Party. This year it is being held at the Computer History Museum right up the street. Ah fun, where did you go?

–whazz on

10 thoughts on “Poker Night!

  1. Your writing has come such a long way, overnight, in fact. Nice. While I was reading it, I kept laughing out loud, and there really is something creepy about someone sitting in a dirty little apartment on a dark and rainy day sitting in front of her laptop laughing out loud. Thanks a lot.

  2. Any chance you could have the quick version of your “Poker Discipline Improvement Course” ready very soon? Like before 7? I’m going to attempt to not lose all my money at a friend’s tournament tonight.

  3. The current lesson plan being self-taught in Zach’s Poker Discipline Improvement Course is that of “Know When To Walk Away,” of course followed by its intermediate/advanced partner of “Know When To Run.” I am limiting myself to a certain amount of winnings per day that I must leave after attaining. That way when I’m up money at a casino I will have the instinctual will to get up and walk when I win a $140 pot, rather than sit there and lose all of it, plus my original $100 buy-in. Class dismissed.

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