What? It Was On Sale!

Judd and I went down to Los Gatos last weekend and ended up at C.B. Hannegans or some crap. A very strange crowd in there; Judd guessed that we were younger than the average while I though we were about the average age. I temporarily forgot how old I was and turned to Judd, “Wait, how old am I? How old are you? 27 or 26?” Anyways, we had a good discussion until a 60 year old dude walked in and then we turned to each other and agreed that the average just notched up a few.

With his good eyes, Judd saw from across the room that 10 year single malts were on sale for $6 a cup. We were paying $6.50 for Crown & Cokes, so we figured we’d save some money and grab some hard stuff. Holy shit was that a mistake.

After that we went down to Mountain Charley’s and watched as some drunken birthday meatbag got into a bouncer’s face and started screaming at him because he wouldn’t let her into the bar. She was not nearly hot enough to scream in a bouncer’s face and when she went nuts and started flailing around 4 dudes jumped on her to restrain her. Funny as hell, though you know if a dude did that he’d be bleeding into a dumpster out back instead of merely being restrained. See, I think if a bitch is gonna get froggy then let the bouncer put the smack down, law-free.

After that we went across the street to Carrynations and waited while no one came to get us a drink. The only really notable thing that happened there was I walked into the bathroom just as some dude was throwing up into the sink. “Hey,” I said. “Hey,” he responded, “… woo, man.” I walked to the urinal while he cupped his palm and sloshed some water in his mouth. He was pretty calm and collected for a dude that just ralphed all over a bar bathroom. See, now if the bouncer had seen him do that he’d be inspecting a fist up close in the back parking lot.

Aaaaaaaand after bar time we went somewhere in Santa Clara where my top pair lost to top two pair and I picked a fight with Scott… twice. The first time we were just fucking around and the second time I really wanted to put him in a figure-four on the front lawn. No suprise if I’m never invited back to that house. As Trent said, “Whatever I don’t have to be nice to everyone some people don’t like me I don’t like certain people.”

I think we got home around 5am. I wanted to call Wirksu and scream something at him but figured he wouldn’t be up at 7am. Instead I went to sleep only to wake up with a very large headache. the end.


5 thoughts on “What? It Was On Sale!

  1. Why oh why are bars serving drinks in cups now?!?! I’ll never have a steady job and be able to support my hurricane glass wife and shotglass kids. Ccccccuuuuuuuuupppppppssssssss!!!!!!!

  2. Sorry bar glass, ‘cup of scotch’ just sounds better than ‘glass of scotch’. I don’t decide these things; I just write a blog about how stupid they are.Also, Maddox was once again on the early curve of hating stupid shit, as I just read an article in the Journal-Sentinel about all these restaurants experiencing surging Pinot Noir sales due to the movie Sideways. Look you fucking idiots, just because somebody made an intresting movie about loving Pinot Noir, you don’t have jump on the fucking Tamagotchi-humping bandwagon you insufferable pieces of shit. The wine club we’re in sends two bottles a month. For the first time ever they sent a Pinot Noir last month. I drank it, it was ok, I still like Cabernet better. These stupid fucking mongoloids just want to go into a restaurant and scream something about Pinot in between quoting The Simpsons and rubbing some knock-off purse they saw in Sex and the City all over themselves. Get. Your. Own. Fucking. Tastes. And. Personalities. You. Sons. uh. Bitches.

  3. i’ve never seen sideways. a few months ago i made a lemon/mustard/butter glazed alaskan salmon… i checked online for a good matching wine.

    salmon is more fatty than normal fish, so a good white really doesn’t fit.

    the perfect match for baked salmon: pinot noir. i bought a bottle, it matched the salmon well, and now every time i have salmon i buy a bottle.

    i will not allow myself to be grouped with the mongoloids.

    and besides, isn’t this how true product advertisement SHOULD work?!?! this is exactlly what i was saying the other day. if someone likes something so much that they make a fucking movie or whatever about it, well that is a pretty good commercial… much more effective than a commercial on TV. do you see me mocking everyone for using the mach3 turbo just because you saw it on TV? give the sheep a break.

  4. 1. Paul – we demand a full update on your life.
    2. I like any wine with booze in it. Even red wine vinegar.

  5. The world is filled to the brim with screaming assholes and it is no longer convenient to avoid them. They’re spilling over into everyday life. And now they’re trying to impress their friends by knowing shit about wine they saw in a movie. I hope to god a movie about how fashionable and great brain surgery is never gets made. No, wait, fuck that; I hope it does. I don’t know shit about shit about wine. I know what I think is tasty and that is it. I also know that the dude sitting next to me drinks Franzia on a regular basis, so why should I listen to him elucidate why Pinot Noir is the bestest wine in the world… because an actor told him so. I’m not trying to hate on the wine, like I said I drank some and found it ok, great even. I’m just not going to start quoting a movie to a fucking waiter to impress him with the wine knowledge born of a Hollywood film. I figure all those guys fingering their buttholes and quoting some guy in a movie about wine would rather be doing what the other guy in the movie did: cheat on their fiances with (in order) a hot Asian wine-pourer and a fat waitress from a steak house. But then, they can’t fuck wine-pourers while impressing their dumbass friends in a restaurant.

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