A busy few weeks are upcoming out here in California; my mom and sister are going to be visiting Friday through next Thursday and then the next week Wirksu is coming out for his annual Cal Visit. During that time is Brewers Opening Day. A Good Time Will Be Had By All.
Wirksu told me a hilarious tale last night about a guy stuffing butter in his mouth, then running to sell it. I thought I would choke. I tried to find the relevant story online but couldn’t. The closest I got to what you described was Valery Ronshin’s Living A Life: Totally Absurd Tales. Regretably, the butter story was not in the excerpt.
Mike and I also argued about the nature of a triathalon last evening and came to the conclusion that Cal is a weiner with his pussy marathon running. You wanna be a man, Cal? Grab a bike and ride 111 miles after finishing your little marathon. Also, swim 3.85 miles. Just kidding, buddy, I’ll never come close to running a marathon unless the ice cream truck drives 26 miles without hearing me yelling for him to stop.
peterstiffly: I have a tornoado-related hotel story as well. The time that Madison got 2 inches of rain in 20 minutes was the day I was working with Jason Tangman at Hojo. It was when there was a giant, comma-shaped storm system that dropped a bunch of tornados on The Dells. As the storm approached from the west, Tangman and I went up onto the Hojo roof to watch. (ps– that was when we still had the roof key, JESSIE.) It seriously looked like the apocalypse was descending on us, and we suggested to the front desk that maybe they should announce that all guests should come down to the lobby from their rooms. So we had a nice little get together in University A (& B!) with all the guests. In the middle of the torrential storm, some kind old black ladies at Monona Terrace called for a pick-up. They were there with the Baptist Church group. I went out into the rain to get them and was driving back up Broom St. when, in front of Cap Center Foods, I hit a gigantic lake of standing water going about 35 mph. “Holy shit!” I yelled as we decelerated and kind of spun out of control. The ladies did not appreciate my blasphemy, but they understood due to the apocalyptic nature of the storm and the fact that we did almost, in fact, fucking die.
I’ve decided that if I ever get laid off from my job or the whole nation decends into economic chaos, I will write a book about my time in Corporate America. It will be a best-seller, and when I go on Hannity & Colmes to plug it I’m gonna choke the shit out of Hannity.