Wrestlemania Liveblogging Preshow

Preshow

On the way up to PACIFICA~! today I stopped for the quintessential white trash purchase at 7-11: an eighteen-pack of Miller Lite, a microwavable cup of Campbell’s Roadhouse Chili, and one California Lottery ticket worth up to $7 million.

We thought that Wrestlemania started at 2:30p PACIFICA Time, but a quick check of the continually-changing Guide on the cable box suggests that 3:30p is actually closer to what scientists refer to as the ‘correct time.’

In the time leading up to Wrestlemania we’re switching between Wet Hot American Summer on Comedy Central (horribly butchered) and a Giants/Texas preseason game on KTVU Channel 2. Both pretty much suck, and I’m involved in a strict regimen of beer to try to get to wrestling on time and in the proper mood.

Scott got drunk last night, so he didn’t make Pulled Pork.

Current time is 2:48p and we’ve got a few predictions for the rest of the evening:

  1. Ryan and I will get beligerently drunk.
  2. There is a slight possibility of GMC and Raj Dudley Death-Dropping Blaine through the coffee table.
  3. Scott will probably not drink enough to get drunk.
  4. Zach: “Out of X matches at Wrestlemania, X-1 will suck giraffe nuts.”
  5. Ryan: “Out of X matches at Wrestlemania, X-2 will suck hyena testicles.”
  6. Ryan will put Zach in a Figure 4 Leglock
  7. Blaine will have no more than 6 beers (i’m currently at 4 myself).
  8. Blaine: “I don’t have any predictions.”

Scott just arrived with his keys tied to his donger and a pack of Swisher Sweets. His phone ringer is the Mexican Hat Dance. He answered his phone “This is Scott.”

Now Wrestling-Specific Predictions:

  1. Rey Mysterio v Eddy Guerrero
    • Ryan: Eddy
    • Blaine: Eddy
    • Scott: Rey Rey
    • Zach: Eddy

  2. Big Show v Akebono
    • Ryan: Big Show
    • Blaine: Big Show
    • Scott: Akebono
    • Zach: Big Show

  3. Undertaker v Randy Orton
    • Ryan: Taker
    • Blaine: Taker
    • Scott: Taker
    • Zach: Orton

  4. Christy Hemme v Trish Stratus
    • Ryan: Trish
    • Blaine: Trish
    • Scott: Trish
    • Zach: Trish

  5. Money-in-the-Bank Ladder Match
    • Ryan: Jericho
    • Blaine: Edge
    • Scott: Jericho
    • Zach: Shelton Benjamin

  6. Kurt Angle v Shawn Michaels
    • Ryan: HBK
    • Blaine: Angle
    • Scott: Angle
    • Zach: HBK

  7. John Cena v JBL
    • Ryan: JBL
    • Blaine: Cena
    • Scott: Cena
    • Zach: JBL

  8. HHH v DAVE~ Batista
    • Ryan: DAVE~
    • Blaine: DAVE~
    • Scott: hhh
    • Zach: DAVE~