From the Mailbag

Got a mail out of the blue from my stepbrother-in-law today. CURSES~! that this is the one day I’m unable to listen to the early game due to meetings all morning.

Hell of a first inning for the Crew this afternoon: Brady with a leadoff double; a sac fly and fielder’s choice to push him across; a two-out jack by El Caballo; a two-out double by Overbay; a two-out double by Billy Hall to score Overbay; a two-out double by the rook Hardy to score Hall; even Moeller gets a hit and RBI; finally Glover, in the nine spot, ends the inning. 5-0 Crew

Uke is on fire today. He may have dusted a sixer on his way to the stadium this morning.

A nice ol’ fashioned 11-1 nut-stomping by the Crew. A sweep at home over the Rockies. All we need now is a sweep of the gawdawful Astros, then off to the Kings of the West, The Fathers. Then up to LA for a few against the Dodgers. Those will be some tough games, but if we can come out .500 it would be nice.


36 thoughts on “From the Mailbag

  1. madd, read my comment on the tread below. i am going to buy a track suit today so I can find that damn game and practice.

  2. Me and Jess went to the game yesterday. One of the best I’ve ever seen and half-priced tickets to boot. We sat about 9 rows off third base. The Italian won the sausage race.

    After the game, we did some wedding bullshit and jessie bought a new bra. Then we hung out with parker (it was his birthday (3))and watched The Notebook (1 star, barf). Riddle me this: why, in every WWII love story, do the lovers meet at the god damned carnival? Every fucking time.

  3. Riddle me this: why, in every WWII love story, do the lovers meet at the god damned carnival?Because it’s well-known that sluts hang out at the Carnivale, and dat’s what dem service boys want.

  4. again katie, totally agree on your tetris explanation… it is extremely odd. it isn’t even like a representation of how the screen would look either… you’re brain breaks the game down into it’s simplest form and you play it. your subconscious doesn’t know what piece you want either, it keeps the game completely fair.

    nowadays i just play poker all day and my subconscious spends its time running poker simulations…

    should humanity harnass this power for something good? like replicators and holodecks?

  5. rach-o also made me sit through the notebook a few weeks ago. at least i got some.

  6. Speaking of, the Wiscon Convention is at the Concourse this weekend. I’ll let Wirkus, Zach, or Casperson fill in any details about these fuckers.

  7. review time.

    burnout 3… holy christ. i got it because i LOVE burnout 2. basically burnout 2 and prince of persia sands of time were the only 2 xbox games i ever played… the rest simply suck. oh sure they is flashy, but they isn’t fun.

    being a pessimist sucks. i figured they would fuck up something good. the same people that delivered a perfect game in a sea of stupidity, i did not trust to entertain me further. it is sick. besides, what else could they add? burnout 2’s mix of simplicity with room for a master to dominate was perfect. BUT. they did it.

    BURNOUT 3 IS FUCKING AWESOME. critera games, i apologize… keep doing your thing… you understand.

  8. also, trekkies was actually entertaining. there is 1 dude on it that is the biggest elist asshole EVER. i simply hated him. BUT i could not hate him. he never contradicted himself… he never made an incorrect assumption or statement. and he was passoniate about what he did and demanded perfection.

    this kid got a suit made, and then punked out the designer like “oh, well, in the official suits in first contact, this band here will be slightly smaller, so you’ll have to go back over this with some overstitching (dude said overstitching) to make it match”

    the he like built a 3d rendering model of some ficticious star base for the movie his star trek club was producing. the cgi looked better than that in the next generation. THEN DUDE AGAIN, this time, punked HIMSELF out. “you may notice some flickering in the bottom left of deck 3, that is a problem with the rendering engine i am trying to work out”.

    nothing is good enough, and he points out every flaw… BUT BUT BUT, I NOTICED THE DAMN FLICKERING. this dude just knows his shit and will not settle for anything less… he’s a complete asshole, but at least he’s complete at something.

  9. Here is my favorite whazzmaster thing of all time:

    madddddddddddddd: “rach-o also made me sit through the notebook a few weeks ago. at least i got some.”

    wirksu: “i didnt even want any after that movie”

  10. Last night I saw the new Star Wars with Brian and Katie. Overall? Once you suspend belief and take the movie on its own terms (the Star Wars universe would never hold up to the super nerd’s in madd’s post critique of things…) it’s A-ok. Example: Opening scene. Giant space ships are fighting. Flying around the giant space ships are smaller single man space ships. Attacking the single man ships? Smaller space ships. Helping the smaller ships? Even smaller cat-sized space ships. Now is this an economically sound way to wage war? Who build all these little ships? Why not build a big bomb instead? The questions keep building, but it’s best to let it go and enjoy the ride…

    For those who care, a few comments. If you’re still waiting to see it and you want to be surprised, don’t read this…

    1. It was way more violent than I thought. The “youngling” massacre!?! Rarely does a director have the balls to introduce a three your old with a Scottish accent, only to insinuate his violent death a mere 3 seconds later. A Very well done 13 second scene. Also, you knew Anakin was gonna get fucked up, but I never guessed he’d get that fucked up. I mean, when dude was withering around with his legs chopped off, I was like “whoa, you poor fuck” but then they go and set him on fire with hot lava. Wow. Also, a lot of other little violent things. Enter cool teenage Jedi. Have him chop down a few robots. Have him take a laser shot to the face. Dead.

    2. There are some moments of great acting. Count Dooku’s head is between two lightsabers. Palpatine tells Anakin to cut his head off. The look Dooku shoots Palpatine is priceless. But then it gets better. Anakin is like, “Can’t do it. It’s not the Jedi way.” And Palpatine is like, “do it.” The whole while Dooku’s facial expressions are conveying shit loads of emotion, oscillating wildly between fear and relief. The last look he shoot Anakin is all, “whew, you’re a Jedi. You can’t cut off my head.” Then, off with the head. Overall, a lot of heads get cut off in this flick. Yoda also displays his acting chops. In one scene, Jedi are dropping like flies, and then they cut to Yoda grimacing: you know he is feeling one fuck of a disturbance in the force. Another Oscar moment starring Jar Jar Binks. Dude’s only moment in the whole film: a somber Jar Jar walks with Natalie Portman’s coffin. That’s like having Sponge Bob at a real funeral. Very odd…

    3. R2D2 can do way too much. I call bullshit on that.

    4. Obi Won rides a Yoshi…

    5. Yoda spends a good deal of time running around in his underwear which is nice because when you were a kid, you instantly lost Yoda’s robe and belt, and all you had left was a Yoda toy in his underwear.

    6. There were quite a few nerds at the show, and we may jokingly call each other nerds, but really we are not. The folks in Trekkies? Nerds. The folks at Wiscon? Nerds. My take on them? Just be nice. When I’d work Wiscon (it’s the world’s largest feminist Sci-fci convention and it happens every Memorial Day Weekend in Madison.) I was happy for them. They have such a good time. Think of the hell they must go through year-round. Let em have their party. Plus, at work, they don’t bother you. Sit in back and watch or drive around on fake shuttle runs past James Madison Park and look at the boobies. Haul ass up to brat fest and get a brat or two…or three. I liked WisCon weekend.

  11. Yoda spends a good deal of time running around in his underwear which is nice because when you were a kid, you instantly lost Yoda’s robe and belt, and all you had left was a Yoda toy in his underwear.I never thought about that but it’s absolutely true. Plus, the robe was made out of hard plastic, as if he hadn’t washed it in 1000 years.R2D2 can do way too much. I call bullshit on that.Yeah, it was apparent as soon as he did a fucking 9.5 high jump out of the spaceship at the beginning that we were not dealing with the R2D2 we remembered. Willow must not have gotten any skrill for this movie, because he’s a computer program for the majority of it. Also, here is Erin’s impression of R2D2: “REAROW. BOOP BOOP BOOP.”I’m not a huge Star Wars nerd. I don’t know anything about Boba Fett’s adventures in the Alpha Gaywad star system in between Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. I thought overall the movie did the best job it could to connect part three of a series with a part four that was made 25 years earlier. Here’s my bullshit moment, though: at the end after Kenobi fucks up Anakin (and he FUCKS up Anakin) he goes back to the ship and 3PO and R2D2 are waiting. They had apparently hauled the pregnant-ass chick back onto the ship. At no point do we see any kind of acknowledgement from the droids (one of whom was DESIGNED AND BUILT by Anakin) that Kenobi just chopped off his remaining limbs and let him start on fire by some lava. I don’t expect 3PO to get teary-eyed, but I would expect him to say, “Umm, what the fuck happened to my creator? You killed him you say? Oh, he’s not dead dead, you just left him burning alive minus two legs and an arm. Ah, ok. Let’s go chums, LEEEEEEERRRROOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYY!” At least that’s how it would go in my version.I had completely forgotten that Wiscon was a feminist sci-fi convention. Ah, militant feminist nerds. I bet they love vampire LARPing.

  12. Madd- even if I would’ve wanted to “spank off” (which I did not) I wouldn’t have been able to….I have no genitalia. How could you not remember something like that about me?! Now I’m going to go cry myself to sleep while rubbing my smooth genatalialess spot.

  13. I’m pretty sure Yoda had a cloth cape and Darth and Obi’s capes were plastic. Yoda came with the cape, a belt with a lightsaber you couldn’t play with on it, a cane and an orange snake that went around his neck like a stripper.

  14. I’m whazzing from BW3 in West Allis. Wilde Toyota is fixing my car, so I took their comp old man shuttle. Now it’s drumsticks, MGD light and free wireless. Maybe I’ll do the impossible and play the Lucky Dollar (TM) at pokerroom. Yesterday I bested 678 hobos for a cool 16$ 8th place finish.

  15. I’m whazzing from BW3 in West Allis. Wilde Toyota is fixing my car, so I took their comp old man shuttle. Now it’s drumsticks, MGD light and free wireless. Maybe I’ll do the impossible and play the Lucky Dollar (TM) at pokerroom. Yesterday I bested 678 hobos for a cool 16$ 8th place finish.

  16. yeah moneypenny. bad memory, you have. it was totally cloth. i had forgotton about the snake however, it’s true- orange snake. I think it’s because he lived in that swamp. wirkus it’s suspend DISbelief… isn’t it? over and out.

  17. Okay, yeah I’m dumb. It was a cloth robe, and Britney Spears’ snake. Best Star Wars toy ever: the speeder bike that would explode when you hit a lever, sending your star wars man flying. Worst toy ever: Jabba’s Throne. It would open like a guy could go down into the room where that monster was, but all it really was was small opening just big enough to put a guy into, as if he was just hiding under Jabba’s floorboards or something.

  18. 1. yeah, disbelief
    2. I liked Jabba’s throne because A) it came with his little muppet pal. B) that little secret area was a shit place for your starwars guy because he had to sit there and smell Jabba’s farts. I had the tie fighter that blew up (the wings shot off) when you pressed a little butto. It also came with laser blast stickers. Pretty much, it was a jalopy tie fighter.

  19. 1. STORE WARS!

    2. You are so right, speeder bike the was best ever.

    3. I saved up every penny I had for months to buy the Ewok Village and sadly, it was a dud. Ewok Village was not the Happy Torch-Lit Bongo Tree Swinging place like the REAL Ewok Village. Mine was plastic and boring. One of the trees in the plastic boring Ewok village was hollow so you could drop a guy from the second level and he would fall to the floor. Great. So the Ewok Village sat in my basement and I sat alone and penniless.

  20. I had the Ewok Village. Within 5 minutes my brother had broken or lost every piece that was firmly attached to the three tree-stump superstructure.I had the TIE Fighter that blew up. Also had the full-size Millenium Falcon. That thing was the shit. It even came with that little ball that flew around and zapped Luke. I lost that mere microseconds after opening the package.Finally, I remember one xmas I got the big walker thing from Empire Strikes Back that they fight on the ice planet. I almost crapped my pants when I opened it. To think that I’d be a millionaire if I had kept that stuff instead of losing every piece not bolted down and then selling it a garage sale several years later. *sigh*

  21. god damn it cal. pushing your god damn organic hippy agenda on me.

    note: i remember zach’s star wars toys. i also believe i remember the garage sale where the falcon flew it’s final mission. strangly i also remember them holding their mop dogs poop in a plastic bag to take to the vet. this all very well could have happened on the same day.

  22. about star wars… i actually got into an arguement about the same shit.

    what you must remember, it happened a long time ago, in a galaxy far away. the droid era has just hit them, similar to our “information age”… nobody really knew the best way to use them, so they just winged it. i mean look at WWII… we were fighting in trenches… how silly was that? NO YOU WILL NOT GET OUR TRENCH!! WE WILL SHOOT YOU IN YOUR TRENCH!! WE WANT YOUR TRENCH!!! SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT. it’s dumb, as is the wooden shrinking doll droid approach of lucasville.

    also, never ever use “physics” as an arguement about star wars. all we know about physics is what we know about it. imagine a number system that only included 1 number and that number was 0. thus we could conclude any number altered with any mathematical operation with another number yields the original number. woweeee… we’re geniuses, it holds true for any number we know (which for now we just know 1)… but what about when some alien shows up and teaches us about 1 through calzillion? then what? all our rules are out the window. the force lets you friggin pass apples around and shit. physics is out the window. i just sat back and enjoyed the film… nothing pissed me off in the movie except the wookie doing the tarzan noise… i paused for a second and went “um… did that wookie just do the tarzan noise?” but before i could answer someone else was getting blown up or attacked by a 4 sworded robot and i didn’t care. i like not caring.

  23. also, R2D2 got a ton more skills because when he busted out the rocket boosters in episode 2 the crowd went apeshit.

    i really think lucas just sat back and decided to make the movie everyone wanted to see.

    no jar jar, more yoda fights, more R2D2 showing strength through his seemingly limited capabilities, more actual wars among the stars, and more saber fights. i might go see it again. something i have never done for any movie ever.

  24. I lost you somewhere around the time you started talking about the theoretical number ‘calzillion.’ However, I do agree that floating apples violate at least 3 laws of physics plus 1 law of thermodynamics. Fucking Lucas, always getting into a pissing match with God.

  25. does it really though? i’m assuming you mean the “an object not in motion remains not in motion unless moved by an outside force”

    but wouldn’t “the force” be a force? if it wasn’t, then that is a pretty bad name for it. also a million spoons when all you need is a knife. rain? wedding day? you get my point.

  26. nerd out: or is it “unless and outside force is exerted upon it” or something? physics is dumb.

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