Instant Classic

Oops, what I meant to say in my last post was: I was Spring Cleaning my work computer and found a hilarious IM conversation between me and GMC. I’ll just go ahead and post it in full. Feel the electric hilarity, beyond the jump. Anyways, for what it’s worth, my favorite part is in bold.


Start of grandmastacaspa buffer: Tue Apr 05 15:16:30 2005

[14:44] grandmastacaspa: you watch robot chicken

[14:44] *** Auto-response sent to grandmastacaspa: I am currently away from the computer.

[14:44] grandmastacaspa: stupid message

[14:44] zachmoneypenny: yeah

[14:44] zachmoneypenny: kinda sucked

[14:45] grandmastacaspa: yea it did

[14:45] zachmoneypenny: Auto-response sent to grandmastacaspa: I rape goats.

[14:45] grandmastacaspa: whoa, that’s way cooler than the last

[14:45] zachmoneypenny: yeah, don’t know what to say about robot chicken

[14:46] zachmoneypenny: i can only assume they put their best episodes out first

[14:46] grandmastacaspa: probably

[14:46] grandmastacaspa: what is your plan for the next 2 sats.

[14:47] grandmastacaspa: UFC has a free fight this sat on Spike and the next Sat is the couture liddel fight

[14:47] grandmastacaspa: also Ken shamrock returns this sat

[14:47] zachmoneypenny: this sat: hopefully watch brewers/cubs game then go drankin in the city

[14:47] zachmoneypenny: next sat: ?

[14:47] grandmastacaspa: would you be interested in partaking in some UFC drinking

[14:48] zachmoneypenny: probably, unless my social calendar comes up with sumthin for me to do

[14:49] grandmastacaspa: isn’t UFC social enough

[14:49] zachmoneypenny: i meant erin

[14:50] grandmastacaspa: i know

[14:50] zachmoneypenny: ha

[14:50] grandmastacaspa: ha

[14:50] zachmoneypenny: that was the unfunniest exchange i’ve ever read

[14:50] grandmastacaspa: yes

[14:50] zachmoneypenny: holy shit

[14:50] grandmastacaspa: the pope’s alive?!

[14:50] zachmoneypenny: he woke up in his coffin and said “waitaminutei’mNOTDEAD!”

[14:51] zachmoneypenny: ‘DON’TBURYMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE’

[14:51] grandmastacaspa: too bad he’s not in a coffin yet, he’s just chillin out in the open for all to touch and see

[14:51] grandmastacaspa: pretty weird if you ask me

[14:51] zachmoneypenny: yeah, wont’ he start to smell after a few days?

[14:52] zachmoneypenny: maybe they just spray him down with Glade every few hours

[14:52] grandmastacaspa: or rot away

[14:52] grandmastacaspa: wow, we’re going to hell

[14:52] zachmoneypenny: fuck that, i ain’t gonna believe that there’s no way to make a dead pope smell nice

[14:52] zachmoneypenny: Glade or Febreeze…

[14:52] zachmoneypenny: …or Potporri in his robe pockets

[14:53] grandmastacaspa: or natural gas

[14:53] grandmastacaspa: wait that doesnt smell

[14:53] zachmoneypenny: true

[14:53] grandmastacaspa: wait yes it does

[14:53] zachmoneypenny: I GOT IT

[14:53] grandmastacaspa: corbon dioxide doesnt

[14:53] zachmoneypenny: an orange car freshener

[14:54] grandmastacaspa: i’m listening to your favorite song, “Brick”

[14:54] grandmastacaspa: and its peachy peach

[14:54] zachmoneypenny: I’m listening to “Far Behind” by Candlebox

[14:54] zachmoneypenny: effin love that song

[14:54] zachmoneypenny: used to tool around in driver’s ed listening to that on teh radio

[14:54] grandmastacaspa: sweet

[14:54] zachmoneypenny: summer of …

[14:54] zachmoneypenny: jesus, when was that

[14:54] zachmoneypenny: summer of 94

[14:54] zachmoneypenny: christ i’m old

[14:54] grandmastacaspa: that would have been 94

[14:55] zachmoneypenny: I GOT MY DRIVER’S LICENSE MORE THAN 10 YEARS AGO

[14:55] zachmoneypenny: HOLY CHRIST I’M OLD

[14:55] grandmastacaspa: your going to have to take your senior citizens retest soon

[14:55] zachmoneypenny: man, you don’t realize that shit until it really sinks in

[14:56] grandmastacaspa: go to this site and look at UFC photos, the captions are horrible

[14:56] grandmastacaspa: look here

[14:56] zachmoneypenny: anyways, some hot, short brunette with bog boobs used to sit next to me in the driver’s ed car

[14:56] zachmoneypenny: oops

[14:56] zachmoneypenny: big boobs

[14:56] grandmastacaspa: oh man bog boobs

[14:57] zachmoneypenny: i love bog boobs

[14:57] grandmastacaspa: i know you do

[14:57] zachmoneypenny: a pic of shamrock?

[14:57] zachmoneypenny: why?

[14:58] grandmastacaspa: keep going and read the captions that go with some of the pics

[14:58] zachmoneypenny: mick foley?!

[14:59] grandmastacaspa: I’m going to order some official UFC gloves

[14:59] grandmastacaspa: and be untertaker

[14:59] grandmastacaspa: under

[14:59] zachmoneypenny: gain 200 pounds and get yoself a hat

[14:59] zachmoneypenny: scientist can be paul bearer

[15:00] grandmastacaspa: ha ha

[15:00] zachmoneypenny: you watch raw last night?

[15:00] grandmastacaspa: little bit

[15:00] zachmoneypenny: i couldn’t believe hhh got to come out for an opening interview

[15:00] zachmoneypenny: YOU LOST FUCKER

[15:00] zachmoneypenny: GIVE IT UP

[15:00] grandmastacaspa: i ddint see tut figured he wouldhat part b

[15:00] zachmoneypenny: The should have let Batista come out and piss on hhh’s foot

[15:00] grandmastacaspa: that not tut

[15:01] grandmastacaspa: that would have been awesome

[15:01] zachmoneypenny: i know

[15:01] zachmoneypenny: i should be a wwe writer

[15:01] zachmoneypenny: …

[15:02] zachmoneypenny: i;d give Nunzio the WWE Championship Belt

[15:02] grandmastacaspa: yikes

[15:02] grandmastacaspa: i thought it would go to funaki

[15:02] zachmoneypenny: nope

[15:02] zachmoneypenny: i feel kinda sorry for Nunzio

[15:02] zachmoneypenny: he has to wear those crazy tights

[15:02] grandmastacaspa: yep

[15:03] zachmoneypenny: besides, Funaki can fall back on his interviewing career to fed HIS family

[15:03] grandmastacaspa: oh man, Tap Out gear is selling Tap Out condoms

[15:03] zachmoneypenny: weird

[15:03] zachmoneypenny: “TAP OUT, BITCH, OR I CUM IN YO HAIR!”

[15:03] grandmastacaspa: the tagline is: If you have someone at home, but on the road, you’re not alone, “HIT IT AND QUIT IT”

[15:03] zachmoneypenny: buh?

[15:03] grandmastacaspa: quite possibly the best tagline ever

[15:03] zachmoneypenny: also the most wordy

[15:04] grandmastacaspa: and the dude they got to “model” them is:

[15:04] grandmastacaspa: the scientist II

[15:05] zachmoneypenny: that dude lookin weird

[15:05] grandmastacaspa: little bit

[15:05] grandmastacaspa: ok, thats bout all i got for you

[15:06] grandmastacaspa: wirkus gets in on thurs, right

[15:08] zachmoneypenny: all around the world

[15:08] zachmoneypenny: come one come on come on

[15:08] zachmoneypenny: lick you up and dowwwwwn

[15:08] grandmastacaspa: whoa

[15:08] zachmoneypenny: let me do all the things you want me to do

[15:08] zachmoneypenny: cuz tonight baybeee

[15:08] zachmoneypenny: gonna get freaky with you

[15:08] zachmoneypenny: holy hell

[15:08] grandmastacaspa: this feels weird

[15:09] zachmoneypenny: man, Silk knew how to drop panties

[15:09] grandmastacaspa: mine just fell off

[15:09] zachmoneypenny: wrksu gets in on friday around noon

[15:09] grandmastacaspa: SJC or SFO

[15:09] zachmoneypenny: sfo jigga, you know no one flies into sjc

[15:10] grandmastacaspa: cept the scientist

[15:10] zachmoneypenny: probably gonna take a half day and come pick him up

[15:10] zachmoneypenny: since we’re up there, if you’re home fri afternoon we could swing by

[15:10] grandmastacaspa: let me know, maybe we can do lunch round these parts

[15:10] zachmoneypenny: that’d be cool too

[15:10] zachmoneypenny: i’ll give you a ring

[15:10] grandmastacaspa: rockin robs

[15:10] zachmoneypenny: NO

[15:11] grandmastacaspa: or not

[15:15] zachmoneypenny: z out

[15:15] grandmastacaspa: G already out

[15:15] zachmoneypenny: k

[15:15] zachmoneypenny: bye

End of grandmastacaspa buffer: Tue Apr 05 15:16:30 2005

Man, I can’t type for the life of me. Also, Nunzio should have the Championship Belt.


9 thoughts on “Instant Classic

  1. By the way, The Temple of Gold, by William Goldman, is a pretty good book. Even if you don’t like it, you’ll only have wasted, like, a day of your life reading it.

  2. If I remember correctly, it’s more like his lower leg snapping in half rather than the ankle. I wanted to cry and run away when I saw it the first time.

  3. The only saving grace is he’s wearing knee high boots so you don’t have to see the actual bone protruding fron his leg.

  4. jesus christ, last time i talk with you on IM… isn’t there some sort of implied NDA on chat logs?

  5. 1. First of all, I haven’t taken Criminal Process or Evidence yet, but I would think that A) you shouldn’t testify at your own trial anyway, and B) you “implicating” a friend would be heresay testimony and not admissable as evidence in a subsequent trial. You’d get a Catch-22: no one passes go and no one goes to jail. Plus, “circumstantial” evidence cases are strange. For example, Scott Peterson was convicted on a purely circumstantial case.
    2. What happened to Big Show? Is his 20 Milwaukee yet?

  6. Hopefully I will be signing a lease for a great place Amy and I found in Shorewood this evening. Estimated date of move-in, 8/1/2005. I am also hoping to hear about a job today…

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