My Priorities

My Priorities
by Zachery Moneypenny

A couple of weeks ago Erin noted that our phone downstairs (the only phone in our house) didn’t have a dial-tone anymore. I thought it was a problem with the phone, and since we don’t use it anyways I wasn’t concerned. Shortly thereafter I noticed that the wireless internet (connected to DSL) in our house was dropping the connection every 5 minutes or so, sometimes not re-establishing it for several minutes to several hours. At the time I made no connection to the phone’s missing dial-tone, and the end result was a wireless router smashed into five pieces because it pissed me off one too many times. It was annoying, but since I was able to get to websites sometimes I didn’t do much about it. Finally, I was sitting on the couch last week when Tivo popped up a message that it hadn’t made a successful call in more than 14 days and that it wouldn’t be able to record anything until it did make a call. It was only then that all three symptoms came together at once in my head and I said, “Fuck, our phone line is wanged.” The moral of this story: take away my phone and I don’t care. Take away a good portion of my internet functionality and I don’t care. Interrupt my Tivo service, however, and I am become an enraged monster.

The End? It’s not fixed yet…


15 thoughts on “My Priorities

  1. you should have simply burned your television… or smashed your stove or something. more aggression = more things fixed.

  2. that is why y’all broke. i host yahoo’s pentium DX2 server in my bathroom. my plumbing IS the internet. i wash myself in the stream of data.

  3. I don’t want to think that my financial data is being used to rinse off Scientist’s crotch.

  4. holy christ, best new product ever. Maxoderm. “Targeted Male Enhancement”. unlike enzyte, which plainly implies that it is a boner pill, maxoderm plays the CONFIDENCE insecurity card. good move maxoderm marketing officials. good move indeed. also, the guys friends with “game”, draws up a play in which the end result looks like a penis and 2 testicles. marketing genius.

  5. HOLY CHRIST AGAIN! thanks to tivo i was able to pause the commercial to post about it before i forgot. now that i watched the rest, i have more to report. it isn’t a pill. IT IS DICK CREAM! THEY ARE SELLING GOD DAMN DICK CREAM.


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