Got Junk? Not Anymore

My Tivo is working again, my DSL is incredibly fast, my garage doesn’t have any more junk in it. I’m so happy right now. Let all who read this be amazed at my great “getting-things-right” efficiency. Erin, you’re not allowed to respond to that.


17 thoughts on “Got Junk? Not Anymore

  1. Yay. In light of the happiness that comes from having things that work, I propose another list of questions, whazz style:

    1. What do you own that works that you can’t live without?
    2. What is the dumbest thing you’ve spent money on (that may or may not work).
    3. What is the largest thing you’ve ever had to dispose of?
    4. Do you recycle?
    5. When you are not whazzing, what is your second favorite website?
    The end.
    Love, katiek

  2. definately the ralley rabbit. damn you brewers, for that you deserve to be a team that sucks.

  3. wait wait wait… i thought the lore of the rally rabbit was some fan with a drum, then the brewers released their own version of fan with a drun without a drum, and then got rid of it. doesn’t that imply that the original fan with a drum still exists in some plane of reality?

  4. i have at least 10 pieces of electronics in my closet, worth over $500 each (the highest probably $2,400) that i haven’t used in years. old computers and servers and PDAs and GPSs and everything needed to interconnect them all into megatron. i want to sell them, but even ebay is too much work for a guy like me.

  5. what up! thought i would let you in on a dream i had just now. took a 4 hour nap after work… now it’s dark and i’m wide awake! ok moneypenny here’s the dream: you and i are driving around and it’s like a mix of st. paul and san francisco… geez it’s true: what happens to a dream defered? i don’t know but i know it’s boring in translation. anyway in eric rosin long-story-short fashion… you and i are in some kind of small two-door car and you are driving fast. at some point i see some of my running pals along the road and i wave- then i look up and you’re about to hit another group of them. but you swerve and miss them. anyway we get to the place where we’re going and it’s in “mission bay” which is what SF businesses and gov have been trying to get everybody to call this new development South of Market (this makes sence because it was just this afternoon that i fully grasped how lame this name is) anyway we’re in “mission bay” and we pull into this 50’s looking pool???? it’s all tile covered and pastel… anyway there’s a booth and you walk up and throw some cash at the window and into this big pool you go. and then in my head i’m like: cool, it’s a pool. but i didn’t have a swimsuit (jesus this is boring shit!) so i was trying to decide if it’d be cool if i swam in my underpants. after some thought on the matter i decided thatno, it would not be cool, so i longingly watched you swim… then you carried on some boring conversation about your job with the lady in the booth. THE END

  6. recycling is for fags and hippies. do you have any idea the amount of waste a human produces every day through 3rd parties? do you use electricity? gas? use anything that came out of a factory? i’ve read in many sources that only like 5% of items intended to be recycled by fags and hippies actually ever gets recycled… usually because making more junko is usually cheaper than turning old junko into new junko. it’s a waste of time and total propeganda. if you care about the environment, there are seriously 352652345812975918273509128069834 better places that you could start than worrying about your soda cans. in fact, why not just drink tap water all day right out of the faucet… don’t use a glass, because then you’d have to waste more water to clean it… and then i bet you use soap to clean it that came from a factory that will now need to be removed from the water by ANOTHER factory so that someone else can use THAT water to clean out their soda cans and put them in their recycling bin that was probably made out of fetuses.

  7. Very true. In Madison the waste management facilities are only able to recycle about 50% of the plastic, glass, and aluminum people leave on the curb with the current manpower and facilities they have. Yet they can fine you for not sorting that shit into separate bags. Summary: 1)Get fined for not sorting aluminum cans. 2)Aluminum cans sorted out by neighbor end up in the landfill anyway.

  8. oh, and cal, here is a story for you. i’m at the grocery store and i see a bin of oranges. BOO YAH! I’MMA *GET* ME SOME OR-ANGES. to obtain pricing and product name information i consult the sign. “CAL. Oranges $.69/lb”. my brain paused to run a level 2 diagnostic at this point, and i was caught in a temporal loop. i thus relized my dilema… if CAL actually WAS at the grocery store with me, then, out of excitement, i probably would have seen the oranges and then turned to him and said “CAL! Oranges, sixty-nine cents a pound”, but the sign i was reading to say that was the sign i was getting the information i needed to say the whole sentance. see, it’s like there before it was there, because i hadn’t even finished reading it yet, but that was what i would say. man. i’m so glad you weren’t there or i think we would have cloned ourselves or something. e=mc2… you can’t flex with that.

  9. What? In Madison you only have two options for recyclables – paper/cardboard and everything else (which goes in the clear bags). Or do you mean you can be fined if you put recyclables in your garbage?

  10. I’m glad that even in other peoples’ dreams I’m as banal as in real life. Thanks for the uplifting story Cal. Scientist, where’d that recycling diatribe come from?

  11. whew i’m glad i got that dream down for scientists of the future to study. i had a dream the other night that i was eating an owl. what do we make of that? anyway whazzmaster you’re dreamy thanks for being my dreamlog…

  12. madd, i wish i could have been there with you. me and my pal madd, buying groceries.

  13. the first post of this story has spawned all of my replies. disposing of junk, recycling of junk, california oranges.

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