Dummocrats? The Stinging Wit

I was just looking over The Daou Report this morning when I noticed that there is a right-wing blog called “Dummocrats.” Never let it be said that the Right was above such bullshit in the time before they caused the world to melt.

So in the spirit of the Right. I’d like to start my own blog called “Republishitheads.” It would be mostly about saying that the Republicans are shitheads. You know: their hat tips, their “heh indeeds,” their ability to interlink each other thousands of times per second until you’re clicking for days to find the original content.

I think I’ll start my new blog by calling Michelle Malkin a stupid whore. That’s just the sort of flare for the dramatic that the Right cherishes. Now, if I could only find out where she was in Cambodia on Xmas (secularist!) Eve…


29 thoughts on “Dummocrats? The Stinging Wit

  1. furst…and…

    scientist…we got some new fast food joints worth visiting…taco del mar is tite…i gotta new single bout to release as well…it is from the point of view of a really old rapper who is falling apart physically…many references to these old people drugs…chorus…’pimpin ain’t easy with a broken hip, but pimpin don’t happen with a broken dic’…

  2. in an herbal induced computation this afternoon i actually realized that assuming the way of life here in the US, and assuming we want to keep things that way, the republican party is actually a better choice over the democratic party. i want to make it perfectly clear that they both completely suck. however, a “perfect” US government would not allow the “US spirit” that our society currently has. If you want to keep the US how it is, vote republican. how sad is that. i will, of course, be voting for myself for every avalible position, so feel free to vote for me as well. i’ll be running on my own party ticket called the baddasses. i’ll do my best to make things the way they should be and piss off the most people while doing it. this of course will anger them and stop them from doing the jobs our busy lives depend on someone doing… like making our clothes and packaging our tv dinners and scraping the edges on the plastic mold that will eventually become the face on your new ipod. then if they don’t agree with the system they overturn it. pretty simple. so if you want a government where the rich get richer… i mean, that is the very definition of capitalism, then you have to have that balance and just HUSTLE people into believing they are getting a good deal. what is the difference between someone getting $100 off some chump in a fixed 3 card monty game, and a CEO convincing some guy to work for $50,000 a year while he will increase the companies bottom line over $300,000… which is the worse hustle? which one should be punishable? corporations are organized communism. so if you want money in the US, just join a small communist corporation, get your ID badge and get ready to live the high life! if you’d rather not be a corporate whore, and you don’t want to break any “laws”, then be poor. wow, thanks for the choice. our system is so stupid.

  3. where the concept of “poker” fits into society and the economy REALLY starts screwing things up. basically anything that you can earn money on a PURE hustle… nothing changes hands that has value… you just get their money and they don’t complain… that is the US way of life. if you can get money, more power to ya. society be damned. remember, taco del mar doesn’t exist unless people are willing to build taco del mar restaurants and equiptment, and other people are willing to put food together and give it to you in exchange for a small hourly salary usually equal to the cost of 1 of the dozens of meals they will be serving over that hour. wow, thanks. my government is simple, and i can make it transition too. take your age – 18, this is x. now take all the money you have earned in your life and reported as income that was taxed by the US government this is y. the government will temporarily give everyone y/x dollars per year with the instructions to do what they love to do, and be passionate about doing it and do it the best that you can. chaos will not ensue… we will keep using the money system already in place, but transition out of it as we discover what people are really good at, and how society wants to shape itself… things reform, the economy will probably change out of our current fiat system, and the idea of wealth will just go away and everyone will live ideal lives… why would you be violent if all you are asked to do is what you are good at? if people aren’t good at something, don’t create these stupid stip malls and convince us that we need them and staff them all with the idiots… then we just have to put up with idiots all day. fucking idiots. viva taco del mar.

  4. got up at 6am… i was staying up later and later every night, and i did a wrap around to where now i’m getting up when most people do… very odd. also, that means that somewhere along the way i gained a day or lost a day on you fools. time warp. also, this is the funniest picture i’ve seen in a long time, only because given no explanation, if you were forced to analyze this picture to figure out what was going on, you’ll notice that EVERY SINGLE THING in this picture is hilarious. that is also why we will always have a 2 party system… it is the natural progression of the ideals of the US system… democracy is the choice to join into communism by means of the education system casting the nation. if you don’t want to do that, you are left to be poor white trash who by definition love the country’s ideals so much that they won’t join into communism to thrive on it’s very soil. these people will fight to keep democracy in place both in the voting booth and on the front line. red state, blue state, liberal, conservative, democrat, republican, no. black. white. simple. it’s just a dumb cyclical bounded function… it requires 2 sides that will both pull equally… things chug along but energy is lost through some form of friction. the people picking up this friction money are the politians. the 3rd parties aren’t even to be considered… they can all be named in relation to black or white… oh, i’m not in the green party, i’m just a fiscally responsible republican… oh, i’m not a libertarian, i’m just a liberal democrat… i’m not gray, i’m just really dark white. it’s so fucking stupid. the entire process is stupid. i am going to go play contra and pretend that i am fighting capitalism. then, i will dance.

  5. if anyone cares to debate, i have rebuts ready on pretty much any topic. just face it, you’re wrong.

  6. Libertarians and Dems are on the same side these days. Who wants to live in the United States of Christianity? Not me.

  7. well, here is the problem… belief that our system will work is just as silly as belief that a supreme being created us. YET, if you truly allow yourself to believe in that known falsehood of creationism, then believing that our government system will work long term doesn’t seem so bad. and like i said before, as long as there are enough people on either side to pull, then the country keeps going like a cartoon 2 man manually railroad cart. libertarianism works great. in a communist society… if we are going to keep our economic system in place or even keep it someone in place to transition, then we can not just turn big government off and go libertarian cold turkey. it just can’t work. belief that it can is worse than believing in god. so to recap: demos=douche. republos=douche. america=uncontrollable spiral of greed and corruption. oh well. smoke em if you got em, i’ll be eating my 2 large rocky rococo’s pizzas. yeah, cheese and sausage. yeah, the big sausage. yeah, i know. awesome. i mean rocky’s is a 25 minute drive both ways, but HEY, i got my OWN PERSONAL car. i put in my $6 worth of gas ($5 of which eventually ends up in the hands of foreign governments, sweeeeeeeet), then i pollute the environment my share, drive past billion dollar highway projects past about 115 strip malls until i find the mall that some schmoe decided to franchise out someone else’s idea and sell a product not very unlike it’s competition. i mean do you see how silly it would seem for someone 100 years ago… travel 50 miles for 1 meal. come on. i think japan has things figured out the best. if only i could speak koneechiwan

  8. I’m just happy if my little research projects this summer get the guilty off. That warms my jaded heart … it really does. Dems? Repubs? They’re all just a bunch of out-of-touch, self-absorbed rich white men. Drug laws? Why, lets throw all the parents in jail and create whole generations of kids ripe for incarceration themselves. Gwen Moore for President.

  9. here is a big problem… we’ve all heard it before… “the following is a paid advertisement… the claims and views expressed are not neccessarily held by this station or it’s employees” etc etc…. the media is the most powerful tool we have. there will always be “pop” culture. knowing what the vast majority of people know is a huge advantage in pretty much any venture. but then the media turns around, sells the air time it was granted by a federal commission, and then relinquishes all responsibility. i say, the right to broadcast also comes with the responsibility to back up EVERYTHING that goes out on your airwaves. if you take money from someone who is going to use your airwaves to try and convince me to give them money, and i do, and something goes wrong, then you are just as liable as the advertiser. that one simple change would fix a lot of problems and hustles currently polluting the airwaves.

  10. do you know whats fucking cool? that mortal kombat techno song. MOR-TAL KOM-BAAAAT!#%!#%!#^!#^#!#^^#

  11. i’ve been playing poker for the last hour with the the outatime orchestra playing the extended version of the theme to back to the future. i’m not saying it’s correlated in any way, but i’m up $300. make your own conclusions.

  12. now to embarass rachel… yesterday we were playing with the dog and she turned to me and said, “don’t you wish he could talk sometimes?”. i was laughing for a good 5 minutes and then she played the “i was just joking around” card… yeah, rachel, whatever. surrrrrrrrrre you were.

  13. C’mon Scientist, I remember that one time when you were cleaning the turtle tank and you turned to me and said, “son’t you wish they could talk sometimes?”

  14. and i remember the time there were chips in the turtle tank and you said, “i wish someone would’ve fed me the chips instead of them cause i would’ve eaten them.”

  15. poor rachel- don’t let him make fun of you… I’ll bet if your dog could talk he’d say: “ray-roe I rovvvvvvvvvve rou!” and what if he could hip-hop dance too?!? like old-school hip-hop like “what-you-hear-is-not-a-test-i’m-rockin-to-the-beat” and maybe he’s so good he could help out with the finances by teaching hip-hop dance to local teenagers. and one day he gets this student who’s shy and quiet and stands against the wall for the first few days but then your dog talks to him and coaxes him out of his shell, then he starts slowly gettin it right? and slowly over a period of a few months your dog trains this kid to be the greatest hip-hop dancer in the country! but when they go to the championships the kid gets a bad break when the challenger makes an illegal move so YOUR DOG has to step in! and he wins the contest! and you and madd cheer! horay! horay! horay!

  16. Give the dog an embarassing penchant for farting when he’s nervous and I bet Hollywood would actually make that movie… and I would post a review about it under the category “Things I Hate.”

  17. you had me until “challenger makes an illegal move so the dog has to step in”…. uh, talking dog… sure. dancing/rapping dog… ok… but i can not think of one reason that the dog would have to “step in” because the challenger made “an illegal move”. for marketing cross ties and demographics, wade robson should definately play “the challenger”. so heres the modified ending… wade makes an illegal move, then my dog (quincy) pulls out a gun and shoots him, and we’re all like “wow… i guess he never taught him not to shoot people… we just assumed because he knew how to talk that he had morals… BAD DOG! BAD DOG! STOP EATING WADE ROBSON’S DEAD BODY! NO! BAD!”

  18. Zach, can you let me know if we get the tickets to the show when the mail comes? Jennifer Cuevas, I wanna sex you up. Hopefully that will make for some googling fun one day.

  19. i just lost a $210 3-6 pot. i have TT. capped with 6 people in. flop T88. swweeeeeeet. capped on the flop with everyone in and i didn’t do any raising. sweeeeeeeeeet. i know someone has an overpair, but why are 2 other people raising? one must have an 8 i guess… as the turn betting ends there are only 3 of us, but i’m 90% sure i’m against 88 for some reason. i type “88?” in the chat box. the river is a Q. bet and raise to me. i call. re-raise and re-raise to me, i call. one dude has 88, the other has QQ. COME THE FUCK ON. R U JOKIN ME?! i can’t complain though, i’m on the hottest weeklong streak of my life so far.

  20. single table limit hold’em tourney… i had about 4 huge draws (open ended straight flushes), and they all missed. so with 10 people left, and blinds at 50-100, and i have $145 left and i’m in last place having never won a pot. 3 hands later i’m the chip leader with 2605. hahahahahahah. poker is easy. busted a dudes AA with T7s in my big blind all in with like 5 people seeing the flop. i rivered a straight, so now i have like 600 something. then i busted a dudes KK with A5o. 3 people match my ~600 after i hit my ace. so i’m up to around 1900. then i hit top pair and get a few bets.

  21. moneypenny, you remember that tourney at cinnebar when i was first starting out where i had guy down to 10 chips heads up, and he won like 8 all ins in a row… blinds were like 800-1600 i think you only got 1000 chips to start then, so i had 9990 and he had 10, and he got it back to like 8000 to 2000 and then i finally won. we were hoping around like idiots because he sucked out so much.

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