Yeah, I’m Bored

I’ve just kinda gotten sick of spending any time whatsoever on this site. It’s not like anyone reads what I write up here; you just click the Comments button and start posting comments as made-up people. That isn’t so much why I wanted to have my own website. Instead, I’ll just post an open thread every so often and anyone who wants to can post whatever nonsense they please. Go wild, I don’t care any more. Here’s my digital home; go ahead and egg it, I guess.

Open Thread.

38 thoughts on “Yeah, I’m Bored

  1. Hold on Professor…I think that a lot of whazzers (including myself) come here to get caught up with the details of everyone’s lives…it’s tough to keep in touch with everyone. I for one do not take whazzmaster.com for granted.

  2. Z-money, that is so sad.

    Let me tell you a little story. A long, long time ago in a city not so far away, a young KatieK was talking to her friend Wirksu over coffee. Wirksu could barely talk because he was laughing so hard. But he said: you have to go to this website. It is Moneypenny crazily ranting about stuff. It is so funny.

    I went to the site.

    It was funny.

    It harkened me back to the days where Moneypenny would lose his mind at ye olde hojoe. Not in a bad way. In a Moneypenny way. Plus, there were haiku battles.

    And now look at it. Do you see what happens when you don’t post your own blog/writing/comment-ey thing like you haven’t in the last however many days? We pretty much shut up. No Jen arguing about politics, no Madd and Wirkus posting long incomprehensible comments about rivers and flops. No surprise visits from Lawman. Of course we read your posts. But like every other person in the world, we are self-centered. But not in an egging your house or flaming bag o’ shit on the porch kind of way. More in a “huh, so that’s what moneypenny thinks, now I’m going to blather about what I think” kind of way.

    I’ll be honest, when you post about video games, I don’t read that. I don’t “get” video games (please read that in the voice of SNL’s caveman lawyer). But some of these posts are like a damn good soap opera that I would hate to miss. I mean, take the landlord from hell saga for an example. That was priceless.

    That is all.

  3. I concur regarding the stevemisracksucks.com saga, and did read “I don’t ‘get’ video games” in the late Phil Hartman’s Caveman Lawyer voice. I wonder if Lawman or Jen will ever use that voice…

    Anyway, Moneypenny, we love the site, and if some of us are selfish, so be it. But a lot of us out here enjoy reading the exploits of Raj & Co. I for one will keep visiting for a long time.

  4. 1. is it me moneypenny? do you miss your old pal cal? old pal cal! old pal cal! cal cal cal! cal cal cal!

    2. I’m winning the football game just so yous guys know this. my team is called “The Tiny Birds” and although they may be small they have a heart of gold. heart heart heart! goldy goldy heart! heart heart cal! cal cal cal!

    3. new atmosphere album v good! nothing like midwestern rapping.

    4. la de da da.

    5. for number five i would like to say: Heat raysssss [dooo dooo dooo] HEEEEAT RAYYYYYSSSSS [doo dooo dooo]

    6. aloha mr. hand, aloha.

    6 1/2. david beach

    7. vvvvvvvzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (rumble rumble) (peanut-in-there) THUNDER!

    8. workus you read that book i sent or what?

    9. nine nine nine for the lost [something] (time?) (sky?)

    10. for everything everything everything everything!

  5. Yeah, we like it here. Stop being a cry baby. Any Miller Lite whazzing on my part stems from working 2 jobs, planning a wedding and a recent 5 day vacation to the North Woods/MPLS for 24 holes of frisbee golf with the maadddd gayatist. On a football note, my fantasy team is a sweet 1-5 and Jessi almost missed the football deadline this week. She just picked about 10 min ago.

  6. yeah you didn’t answer number 8 STUPID! remember when i dissed the scientist and told him to get back in the trunk? that was the best day of my life. it was my only ever battle rap victory ever. oh there was the time when i conjured an image of scientist in little swimming trunks and in a beach chair. dis! that was good too. i love myself. cal you are one heck of a guy, keep it up, love, you.

  7. arlo is in mpls this weekend. wwwhazz, you came a week early……. went out last night to a bar that you would have gizzed all over. it had an upstairs balcony area that pretty much broke every fire code imaginable, and felt like a treehouse. oh well. instead we got to get in a traffic jam, and sit in an irish pub with a DJ (?!?!) and dance lights playing shit like humpty dance. now i love humpty dance, but it has it’s place, and it certainly was not there. he flys out monday night, so the next few days should be drunko.

  8. and to address the concerns of the wayward webmaster: you hold the key. if you don’t want people clicking on the comments link, then take the comments link out! if you want people to only post as their real self, then require log in to post. if you want to keep conversations more on topic, then change the format… if you want to replace any noun with “chickenfart”… then throw a str_replace in there. i don’t remember the internet police barging in and forcing everything to stay exactly how it is. i’m addressing all of that for phioverphi… the elitist internet community fixated on the golden ratio. i’m playing backgammon on the internet for real money now. i’m down $2.

  9. We all love it here, dude. Also if you want, I’ll poop in your butt hole and then you will poop it back into my butt and we will keep doing it back and forth with the same poop. Forever.

  10. Three things that will make me hate a movie:
    1. A non-retard playing the roll of a retard.
    2. A precocious child.
    3. Wacky couples finding love.

    Yet, every now and them a flick will kick me in the balls and declare itself awesome despite the rules. Rain Man is A-ok because the gambling and self-discovery elements out-kick the tard, and now, added to the very short list, is the movie that provided that above “poop it back and forth” comment, a movie that succeeds despite rocking a precocious black kid and two wackjobs falling in love: Me and You and Everyone We Know is a gem of a flick.

  11. holy cripes arlo does it again. the berrrrrrr we went to today was an 80s bar. i’m thinking 80s dance bar with drunk up 20s bitches dancing…. good enough. but no, it was the 80s like i lived the 80s bar. tons of board games and lounge areas with super mario 3 running and shit. the dudes next to us were playing backgammon and i was 4 seconds away from jumping in and busting them both for every cent they had. i restrained myself and played skip-bo. skip-bo is like uno, but for poor people who couldn’t afford uno. aka: skip-bo was sold at big lots. uno was not.

  12. also, why the fuck didn’t we ever fuck steve to the mizzzzzzz up? next time i’m in cali lets do some damage

  13. Zach, do you know why all of us self-centered (I’m #1) retards only post about ourselves? It’s a combination of trying to compete with your brilliant rants, and intellectual masturbation. Oh, and like UBS, I also visit regularly to KIT with my friends who are scattered across America. You have created a whole virtual community insanely ranting and fighting like true friends … or a bunch of feral cats in a big burlap sack. Now isn’t that something to be proud of?

    On another note, I have my second cold of the month of October. This cold is distinguished from the first cold, which was hallmarked by a debilitating sore throat, by constant sneezing and snot dripping out of both nostrils. Luckily I have catastrophic insurance, so while it costs $60 to visit the student clinic as a grad student, if I am miraculously hit by a semi or a soccer mom in a minivan, I might be in receipt of some meds. Here’ to hopin’.

    CAL CAL CAL. OLD PAL CAL.

  14. jen, i need your help. i think patent law in this country are completely fucked up. so imagine we are already in my utopia where you vote using a survey rather than for a specific politian or party, so things are already like 7 times more kickass. NOW here is how we change things to fix patent law. if you want to patent something, then the owners of the patents of everything you use in the process of creating your new patent are obliged a percentage of all royalties that your new patent generates in similar licensing agreements in the future. implementation splimplification. i don’t fucking know. it just pisses me off that people look at new intellectual property and think “without that company we wouldn’t have this new intellectual property, so they deserve protection”… well without about 20,000 other companies and 20,000,000,000 other people’s intellectual property, such as God’s creation of the heavens and the earth, that new company couldn’t have even been capable of inventing much more than a better bow and arrow. so you invent a new something and it will change the world. you were only able to do this because you had thousands of super computers, and flew in top experts to work with you. you often had to drive back and forth between buildings during work. well, i say, the people that own the patents on every piece of that plane, every chip in those supercomputers, every engineering technique used to build whatever vehicle you are using to traverse buildings, deserves a cut of any profits you make on licensing your new patent to future research. that way making things that make research easier will be the most profitable business assuming people will always do research. if the tools keep getting improved by people just looking to make a buck… then how could that not happen? if they do things right, and their idea really was a better idea, then people will use it to think of their new ideas, and if those people find success through the original idea, then the owner of the orignal idea must have actually found something new and better and thus gets paid lil bow wow style. it’s like a pyramid scheme, but the end product is knowledge, and the means to obtain more knowledge more easily. vote madddddddddddd president of earth.

  15. economic impact: obviously choosing what products you use for research with patent intentions now becomes a huge issue. what if a certain patent holder charges too much for the use of his patent for research? well he is in 1 of 2 places: his patent is awesome, or his patent is not awesome. if his patent is not awesome, then fuck him. if he is the only game in town, then you work on the awesome solution to whatever problem you need solved instead of the original problem. if he is not the only game in town, repeat this step with next candidate. if his patent is awesome though, he has 2 ways to get paid: make the patent super expensive for research use, but super cheap for non-research use. this way if the idea was truly revolutionary, then it will still get in the hands of the people unless the patent holder is a real asshole and desides to charge huge fees to the non-researc public as well. if the new idea can create new research that will most likely be ground breaking, then research companies have 2 choices: pay the fee, whatever it is, or use the product anyways, develop your new ideas, but never patent them until you pay the royalties. if people use your new idea derived from the patented idea, then that new idea is tainted and also can not be patented until royalties are paid to the inital patent holder. so society can still use all these news ideas and make new ideas with them, they just can’t patent and start licensing their idea until everyone in the chain is getting their piece. in my rap world, the dumb get smarter and smart get richer, and then a new day starts. welcome to utopia.

  16. How would you resolve a charge by a patent holder that a newly granted patent could not have been derived without the use of their patent?

  17. first, mr gephardt, welcome to whazzmaster. second, i thank you for your question. yes, a new crime comes with this new law, failure to report use of a patent during research. with the stakes potentially so high, if a patent holder can prove beyond a resonable doubt to a judge in the patent courts, that their patent was used and not reported, then that patent holder will split all future licensing revenue with the offending researcher. if multiple charges come in and multiple patent holders are found correct in their charges, then everyone involved splits the research proceeds equally on the new product prorated yearly from the time of their claim. so patent C infriges on A and B by not reporting their use in the creation of C. A files, wins. a year passes and B files and wins. the first year A and C will split 50/50, the second year A,B and C will split 33.3/33.3/33.3. the system will go by the standard calendar and payments will be made on jan 1st which will now be known as “Advancement Day”, and the new year celebration can obtain a purpose rather than just celebrating the incrementation of an integer. does that answer your question Dick?

  18. hey madddddddddd, been lurking here for a while, you’re a bright man. love the new patent idea! you’re right, implementation, splimplification, ROFLOL!!1!!1

  19. hi madddddddddddd, i represent the 28th district of california and practice a little patent law on the side :), well… what can i say. big ups. just a quick clarification, what determines if someone is a “researcher”?

  20. Howard! i heard some ladies talking about you baller… you dog! anyways, welcome to whazzmaster, blah blah blah, question, blah blah blah. a “researcher” is anyone in the process of doing anything that may result in anything that that individual my wish to patent. everything you use during a “research phase” must be declared in your patent application. there can be multiple research phases for a single patent. if a new research phase starts at a point different from where the last research phase ended, then everything used to get to the new state must also be recorded. all of this will be handled electronicly of course. keep houndin those hunnies on capital hill playa playa

  21. my new hobby project MSNGeniusSearch just alerted me via bluetooth about your new idea. wow. nice. but come on man… everyone uses computers to do research now-a-days, how is this going to be sorted out? *;-D

  22. hey bill. this is a new system that overlaps an existing system already in place that will have to be removed. you should recognize this as a patch… and patches usually require a reboot of some sort. there will be a transition phase, and to be honest, going through all the patents, and determining value will be tricky. perhaps a computer program could automate the process? perhaps it could never get done in our lifetime? perhaps it would require a shortterm depression as things reorient themselves in the new economy? perhaps utopia sites in after 3 years, and we enter a new generation of thinkers and innovators? perhaps 10 years down the road everyone realizes a fundamental flaw in my system and the world blows up……. haha billy, i’m just razzin ya. that wouldn’t happen. i’m never wrong.

  23. i’m not supposed to comment on stuff like this… but in the future, we realized that madddddddddddd was right, and we as a people were wrong in not listening to him. the collapse of the modern world was solely due to this oversight.

  24. hey madddddd…. i’m a scientist, but it’s far to expensive to do research out of my own pocket, so i have a job with a major corporation… if i develop something truly ground breaking, will i be guaranteed extra compensation from my employer, or can they do what they like with my ideas because their money ultimately produced the results?

  25. great question don, and i love your quirky name. under new patent law, patents filed to corporations must divide at least 50% of future research licensing revenues with the researchers responsible for the new patent. so 100 people invent a new material over at dow chemical. dow chemical, at patent file time, decides how much from 50 to 100% of future research licensing revenue will be given to what people. while the patent is in processing, researchers can pettition the courts if they feel they should be on the list. i mean, once all this data is in place, the application to process the data is trivial… it’s just a giant DB join, and a sum. and the money you receive every year on advancement day from all your royalties is in direct proportion to it’s impact on the betterment of society. how is this not a better system?

  26. Why even have property rights in the first place, if you ask me. Although the charge of criminal damage to property sometimes involves the most entertaining of fact patterns (My baby mama threw a golf club into my low rider truck because my other girlfriend won’t stop calling the house). Maybe I should take intellectual property after all. Yuck.

  27. hey out there while be sure to root for the jets over atlanta tonight bc if the sucky jets somehow manage to beat atl cal wins the vaunted chalky tasting booze! both mp and bg picked atl: DUMB!
    this is my chance! go jets!

  28. I’m writing up a patent application right now for some work I did on project this year. Awesome process: I get $250 just for writing the application. If it gets accepted, I get another $1500. w00t!

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