I’m Not A Poker Master Or Anything

I’m not a poker master or anything, but I’m watching the final table of the World Series of Poker and its the biggest group of donkey-ass motherfuckers I’ve ever seen.

31 thoughts on “I’m Not A Poker Master Or Anything

  1. remember, 3rd level thinking appears to be 1st level thinking, and ESPN is only showing the “interesting” hands. another reason i can’t get enough of live at the bike. thanksgiving day get ready for a 14 hour marathon of the best of live at the bike!!! check it out.

  2. For one, no teacher would grade that. The would see the threat and call the cops. They would never go through all that work.

  3. i thought about that for a good 10 minutes…. that it was art…. i really really thought about it…. my conclusion: to the person who made this, it is art either way. it is art if it was intended only as art, and it is art if it was intended to be turned in, and garner a reaction from the teacher. therefore the intentions of the story’s author are not relevant. the story author and the corrector: they are not the same person. i am about 85% sure of this. it’s probably not a real teacher grading this paper, my guess is someone smart enough to see the value of this parody is smart enough not to actually turn it in. so they showed it to peers on their level, and one of them with enough knowledge to mimic the teachers possible reaction added to the work making it perfect. then again, it could be one person who made this. but they would have to know how to perfectly mimic the workings inside the head of a teenage boy and an english teacher, and make it seem like it was coming from 2 different people. so really the only person who could fake it would be a self aware english teacher who actually graded enough real papers to actually develop the ability to put you in their heads. thus the work we all saw was just a culmination of all the ideas from all the real papers coming in, thus our paper was made up of real papers, thus is real even if it isn’t real. thus this piece of work could NOT be art. whatever. it was funny either way and no one will ever be able to prove it either way. trivial pursuit indeed.

  4. wirkus: what about a bored english teacher? what about a crazy english teacher? what about a high english teacher? what about a suicidal english teacher? you really don’t think that had the paper been turned in to every english teacher in the world that not ONE of them would grade it? this is the story of that one special english teacher who picked up that red pen and did some REAL english teaching for once. stand up for your riiiii-ights MOVE ON OUT MOVE ON OUT!

  5. Yeah. It all depends on what you are comfortable calling art.

    Theory 1
    Someone invented the “character” student and really interacted with a real teacher of some sort, maybe even an on-line tutor of some sort. Later some person came across it and posted it on their website.

    Theory 2
    Someone invented the student, really interacted with a real teacher and then later the same person who invented the student posted it.

    Theory 3
    Someone invented the student, invented the teacher.

    For me calling something art is simple: if I read something and it makes me better appreciate my life, I’m comfortable calling it art. If it is well constructed, I am comfortable calling it art.

  6. Also, this is str8 postmodern art, the kinda stuff grad students JO each other over.

    1. Issues of authorship/authenticity. A big question in PM fiction: who is the narrator? It is a bit much to take this paper at face value, so I’m forced to ask the question: who is making up who and why?

    2. A blurring of the lines between genera and Literary Fiction. This “story” is straight up myth mixed with pop culture done in an intelligent manner that upgrades the work to the level of Literary Fiction.

    3. Reader/text interaction. I’m doing it right now.

    4. A blurring of the lines between art and reality. This text is art, but it refuses to ever look at the fact that it is art. It never winks at you or breaks character. It’s a hoax that refuses to admit that it is a hoax, and when you take the time to consider how it was constructed, its complexity is revealed and it becomes a fascinating question ripe for academic inquiry.

  7. how is it a bit much to take the paper at face value? make yourself a 17 year old, genius pot head high school student. you could write this paper in 2 hours.

  8. another copy of the original… beyond a reasonable doubt i can’t not convinct this piece of being fake. if i were to bet money however i would go big that at least it was not actually turned into a teacher, and that is the actual corrected version back from the teacher.

  9. Yeah, no teacher would deal with that. I still think the “student” is a college student. Check out Mcsweeny. It is full of this kind of stuff: fake letters, fake papers, really something wacky in a non-wacky place.

    I’m not saying I don’t like this or that it is not funny. it just isn’t real.

  10. Man, I am sleepy. I gotta get Jessi from work in a 1/2 hour. Sucky. Anyway, for a poker hoot, I played 3 turbo shorthanded single tables at a time for 3 hours. I made 68$.

    Madd, you coming into town for whazzgiving? Gimme a call if you are still up.

  11. last night was stupid for me…. 4 tables of 2-4. down 150…. won it back… up 150… lost it back…. down 150…. dumb. haven’t seen my phone in a few days though, maybe i should look for it.

  12. my story of poker tonight would make even jesus cry. glimmer of light from the depths of never more: i at at the final table of a PL08 multi right now and i’m 4th in chips with 10 left. if i get first place in the tourney….. STILL a shitty day.

  13. live at the bike was funny tonight… donkey whale buys in for 5k… donks it away. rebuy 5k… donks it away. rebuy 10k (mind you cash, this dude rolls deep). loses it all first hand. rebuy 10k. donks away a lot but the show ends before he can go broke again. hmmmmm i have K5 and the board is AT2 and someone went all in….. I CALL! GENIUS!

  14. FUCKING FUCK. i got 9th. i river the 2nd nut flush and 2nd nut low… i think i’m a good candidate to scoop even because he seemed to be playing a straight or a set on the turn. nope, he has the nut flush with the nut low and he has more chips than me. donkey donkey donkey, i made you out of jews.

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