Racine, WI: No Money For Plows

It started snowing yesterday in the early afternoon and continued well past dinnertime. The result was a wet blanket covering the city of Racine. Luckily, the City of Racine sprang immediately into action; they sat back and feasted on Thanksgiving leftovers with a zeal last seen when I was 12 and they failed to cancel school the day the temperature hit twenty below zero. Arlo (yes, Arlo!) suggested that perhaps Racine was now too poor to get some plows out on the roads. As he said that, a plow truck came barreling up a croos-street towards us. A plow truck with no plow attached. Whoopity-doo.

Arlo, wwhazz, and myself went to Waves. Mike remembered us and our first round was on the house. Two other folks came in and sat at the bar, and soon a rousing game of Drink This! started up. We were offered sips of #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, and #6 in turn. Each drink was a different mixture of fresh-squeezed orange juice, tangerine juice, vodka, orange-flavored rum, and cranberry juice. The bar had just recently won a gigantic juicer on eBay, and they were excited to test it out. After trying numbers one, two, and three I actually ordered a #2 (fresh-squeezed tangerine and vodka) and it was great. The lunacy started when someone suggested we take numbers one through six, pour them into a blender, and name that a “One-Through-Six”. That plan produced three glasses of 1-6, and that’s how I got my second free drink of the night. Later on, we were served a drink (a #8, I think) and weren’t told what was in it. We all tasted it and found it pretty good. Then we were told that it was “SoCo, watermelon Pucker, and orange juice.” I thought that was hilarious and laughed for about five minutes. Now, a day later, I’m not sure what was so goddamned hilarious about that; maybe I thought it was funny I was served not one but two liquors surrepticiously that I would never otherwise drink.

Afterwards we went to IVANHOE! on Main St. Joel, Jamey, Jared, and Kim showed up. By this time I was fairly drunk, and just in time Arlo invented a drinking game using only a World Atlas we found on top of the old-timey piano in IVANHOE!

The Game: One person chooses a city somewhere in the world. The other players have to guess the continent its on. Each player who guesses wrong has to drink. The chooser has to say “Drink!” in a disgusted manner. Once the continent has been established, guessing continues as to the country that the city resides in. Whoever guesses the correct country gets the World Atlas to choose the next city. Supplemental Rule: if the city is in the United States, then there are two extra layers to the game. Next the group has to guess the Time Zone (which I fought against), then they have to guess the state.

After I was good and drunk on CAPTAIN & coke, Arlo wanted to play foosball. Arlo & Wwhazz VS. Moneypenny & Jamey. While the first game was close, the second and third were blowouts, even with the fact that wwhazz hated every second of it.

A quick stop at the old haunt Taco Bell on highway 20, then we were off to home to eat in Aaron Moneypenny’s basement abode while watching TV. Shortly thereafter wwhazz hit the road to get back to Milwaukee and Parker, and I hit the hay.

the end

43 thoughts on “Racine, WI: No Money For Plows

  1. Yeah, it was an a-ok night. Any Arlo time is a good time.


    1. Cal, I’m not digging the Elementary Particles. Sell it a bit, would you?

    2. Madd, what is up with your phone? I’ve called like 6000 times this week. Call me up, yo. I wanted to invest 50 of my 250 to stake you in an Omaha hi lo 50$ multi, but you are AWOL.

  2. Does anyone need hotel info for my wedding? If so, gimme a call.

    So far we got a handful of replies back. Paul and Amy, you are one of the first. Congrats!

    Also Zach, you gave me that Scrabble game. You and Oneil both had me out vocabbed, but you made too many “shakey” plays. You snakes skipped out on the 5 bucks we bet, too.

  3. The date is January 6, 2006 on a Friday. The ceremony will be in Hortonville at Saints Peter and Paul Church at 3pm. The reception will be at Bridgewood Resort Hotel and Conference Center in Neenah, WI. The two places are only about 15-20 minutes apart. Dinner is at 6:30 pm. There is a room block at Bridgewood under the Gitter/Wirkus wedding for that Friday night. The rate is 99+ tax/night. The rooms have two queen beds. You have until December 16th to make the reservation in order to get the group rate. The phone number is 920-720-8000. The website is http://book.bestwestern.com/bestwestern/productInfo.do?propertyCode=50127. If that doesn’t work for some reason you can just google best western hotels and enter Neenah, WI and you will be able to get there.

    The other option is the Day’s Inn which is less than a mile way. The rate there is 67.50 + tax. Those rooms also have two queen beds. They are holding 10 rooms at this wedding rate until December 6th. Once again it is under the Gitter/Wirkus wedding. The phone number is 920-720-9020. The website is http://www.daysinn.com/DaysInn/control/Booking/search_results?brand_code=DI&p_country=US&p_state=WI&p_city=Neenah.

  4. whazzaroni,
    I’m torn between chicken and pasta. What do you suggest?
    Let me know so I can send in this RSVP card!!

  5. Go chicken. I am. The pasta is ehhhh, only ok, but the best of the veggie choices. I was ready to axe the veggie option, but we kept it for CAL.

  6. We got the cake ordered today. The layers:

    1. Carrott with cream cheese filling 2. Lemon Poppyseed with lemon filling.
    3. White
    4. Gay-ass marble
    5. Black with fudge filling.
    6. Angel food

  7. My number one choice would have been turkey dinner with all the trimmings, but I’ll take chicken as a close 2nd.

  8. oh man, I quit not eating meat like 6 months ago. did I not mention that? yeah, totally eat hamburgers and all that stuff all the time now. I’m feeling much better too. just all around… sleeping better, less jittery/nervous etc… at one point I was feeling lousy and was like hmmm maybe I should be vegan that’ll help things–oh boy would that NOT have helped things. there was one point I went into the ER and was like “yo nurses etc there is something wrong with me I sleep like a million hours a day and I’m always tired when I’m awake” I thought I had mono or something anyway they couldn’t find anything wrong with me but eroz long story shortstyle I think it was all the damn ruffage and no meat. so I’m trying not to eat too much meat and also trying to support cage free happy eggs whatever but all you nay sayers were correct in your nay saying. umm instead of no meat these days cal says: NO SUGAR. Mostly anyway… also, no booze! well, not NO booze but very little booze! what else… you should just read that french guy he’s a good writer.



  9. hey sceeizer did you arrive here yet? i would pick you up but i’m almost 30 and unsuccessful. sorry!

  10. “Kids are a trap that has closed, they are the enemy — you have to pay for them all your life — and they outlive you.”

    Selling Point for The Elemenatary Particles by Michel Houellebecq

  11. i do not accept your refusal for transport. you live in one of the most expensive cities in the world. you have shelter. you have so much food that you can create silly rules about which foods you will eat for nourishment, and which food you will turn away. should this ability to choose your own diet go awry, you have access to professional medical services that will not require you to give up your shelter or nourishment. i’d also bet dollars to DONUTS that you have running water and a toilet in your shelter. cal, as far as i’m concerned you are living the high life. now should cal CHOOSE to refuse the fact that he is indeed successful, then i will need another kind soul. i’m looking at coming into SFO at 10:55pm on thursday and leaving monday, either at 10:45am or 2:45pm…. so i’d have to be at the airport at some point before one of those times. GMX, could you pick me up on thursday? maybe crash at your place too? HEY THAT SOUNDS FUN! gmx: let me know if that will work. cali folk: let me know if you are down to party and if so, how hard. cal: let yourself choose to come down and play.

  12. 1. Luckily I have found a progressive mate, so we negotiate our dinner choices so that we have half of two choices instead of a whole of one. It works out well, until servers, etc. wonder how the plates changed places. You decide which plate first under negotiation, as well. For example, I get the beef first, eat half, and then the plates switch, so I get chicken, too. It’s brilliant.
    2. Please God/Allah/Jehovah/Great Spirit, let me make it through finals.
    3. The Kid goes to a Christian school (this is gonna be GREAT–trust me) where the requirements for graduation eventually are 8 credits of bible study as opposed to 6 credits in math and 6 credits in science. I was sent here for a reason. And that reason will be accomplished all the while wearing a Che Guevara t-shirt. Bravo.

  13. cal, i want to hear about your falling off the wagon (or falling back onto the wagon). After your veggie life, what was your first meat? Did it make you puke?

  14. i’m glad to see genius businessmen still exist. coinstar. good concept right? stand alone machine that turns change into bills… HEY, I COULD USE THAT! but oh wait, something like 9% surcharge. well…. shitty, but i still have used it because my bank doesn’t accept my lose change anymore (AND THAT SHIT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL… IT IS FUCKING MONEY, ALL DEBTS AND WHATEVER..)… anyways. their new promotion: turn your change into an amazon gift card and there is no fee. amazon is probably making over 9% margins easy, so coinstar is guaranteeing them some business in exchange for probably around 4-8% of their margins. amazon takes the deal expecting the coinstar users would not otherwise spend that money at amazon… because if they would, amazon just signed up to basically eat the fee for everyone else using coinstars service. so it is a risk on amazon’s part, but smart money says take the deal. i think this is a great idea, and eventually amazon will acquire coinstar once they see all the new revenue it brings in. in my professional opinion, now is the best time to invest in coinstar. you heard it here first.

  15. those 9% fees for the last few years financed all the hardware and infrastructure… now they are taking their assets and leveraging them, all while acquiring more and more retail dominance. seriously, smart management. seriously.

  16. pro·gres·sive ( P ) adj.
    Moving forward; advancing.
    Proceeding in steps; continuing steadily by increments: progressive change.
    Promoting or favoring progress toward better conditions or new policies, ideas, or methods: a progressive politician; progressive business leadership.
    Progressive Of or relating to a Progressive Party: the Progressive platform of 1924.
    Of or relating to progressive education: a progressive school.
    Increasing in rate as the taxable amount increases: a progressive income tax.
    Pathology. Tending to become more severe or wider in scope: progressive paralysis.
    Grammar. Designating a verb form that expresses an action or condition in progress.

    A person who actively favors or strives for progress toward better conditions, as in society or government.
    Progressive A member or supporter of a Progressive Party.
    Grammar. A progressive verb form.

    I’ll take it.

  17. uh… i know definition, and yes, you could say it fits, but prove to me it isn’t REgressive, and then i’ll listen.

    adding layers of overhead to gain small variety in nourishment…….. GENIUS! lets all do it!

  18. perhaps you all remember peanut butter and jelly in one jar? a lot of people thought that was progressive.

  19. Today we went to the jail to get Jessi’s fingerprints for her Cali Nursing License. The fingerprint window was right next to the post bail and the window where you turn yourself in if you have a warrant our for your arrest.

    Funny incident uno: A itty bitty Mexican and a big ole Mexican were busy plowing their way through red tape when the big guy told the little guy that he was being too nice to them and he had to stop putting up with their shit. Ooookay… great strategy. Get belligerent with the red tape, dog. That should work. I would like to see the other areas of his life were this worked out for him… Moments after his sage advice his cell phone went off. Oddly his ringer was classical music. He unclipped it form his belt, scowled it, then clipped it back to his belt.

    Funny incident dos: The line to turn yourself in was really long. A dude with the goldest teeth ever came down, checked out the line and said out loud, “screw it, I’ll turn myself in tomorrow.” Then he walked out, past somewhere around 55 cops, back into the city. I’d like to see what he is up to tonight.

  20. because the jaring process for jelly and peanut butter is completely different. don’t you watch unwrapped? you can’t get good jelly to remain next to good peanut butter without one of the 2 losing something. it’s a bad idea from the start. as far as meals, someone took the time to proportion out that specific meal. they thought about it. it’s the best combination of flavors and nutrients that they could come up with. now you decide to step in, throw their work out, willy nilly pass plates back and forth and eat whatever you like. i knew a man who tried that once. his name was cal, and he nearly died. GRANTED: from a consumer standpoint, jen, you are a pioneer. your mans is a pioneer too… you are both probably perceiving your net result as positive, but in actuality you’ve negated some things, and enough that i simply have a problem with calling it “progressive”. if everyone did it, it negates the reason you are doing it, thus it can NOT be progressive. there. much simpler.

  21. if you want to know what dude from jail is doing tonight, simply replay the tape from last night…. it’s still the day before you’re planning on turning yourself in.

  22. Overhead???? Explain that… and how could it possibly be REgressive (esp. given last month’s diatribes about food portions).

  23. if you assume that everyone is going to share, then there is no reason to make the meals unique and thoughtful. instead the chefs would work on making pairings of meals unique for the couples to share, which in reality is just one big meal. yet for the people that still just want a chicken meal or a beef meal, now they get a chicken meal that goes with beef or a beef meal that goes with chicken. it’s adding another branch where one doesn’t need to be, but also not allowing another brach to grow that COULD lead to something progressive. thus in the long run is not working towards anything better, and very well might be working against the creation of the perfect meal. it’s the perfect compromise for someone that prefers buffet style. in fact, if anyone wants to share with me at the wedding, well… i’ll eat your leftovers. all i’m saying is it isn’t progressive. it is progressive only in jen and her mans’ world. assuming no other world existed, yes. assuming otherwise, i take issue.

  24. Hey,

    I had my best game of scrabble last night:375. I had 3 bingos including one on my first turn and one on my second turn. Jessi was pissed and almost quit. Cool, cool, cal.

  25. cali nursing license???? are you joining arnold? do it! join arnold! it’s paradise man! madddd do you have DangerDoom? MF Doom and DangerMouse…excellentay

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