Happy Birthday Ashley!

Happy 22nd Birthday! I’ve got your gift, and you’ll get it when I get home on Friday. Til then– seeya in the funny pages.

–dear god not the family circus

[UPDATE]: On This Day in 2004 I announced on Whazzmaster that Wirkus and Jessi were getting married. Huzzah! A few choice comments on that and the subsequent thread:

[December 22, 2004 10:27 AM] by sean
Congtrats wirkus. Im pretty amazed. If youre having a wedding ill be there. ill hop a bus and make the long trip through mexico. also if your cruise is going to take you by honduras or nicaragua let me know an ill say hi. whazz out.

[December 22, 2004 02:37 PM] by wirkus
Well thank you to all you congratulators. Sean, hi! Hi, Sean! I’m sure my lovely fiancé would also say thank you if she were not so busy bouncing all over the great state of WI. How did I trick her into it? First I took my credit card to a jewelry shop and demanded their most sparkly ring. The sparkle coupled with my age advantage was enough to manipulate her. Hardee har har. No really, we’ve been dating for two years and things are going well, so it seemed like the most logical next step. As far as the wedding goes, you all have some time. Next summer or fall, a good year and a half. Unless you want a bag lunch affair held in a local pasture. But yeah… I’m happy, she’s happy and Parker too seems to be ok with it, so I guess everybody wins except for anyone with a secret crush on either Jessi or me. Whazz on

[December 22, 2004 10:40 PM] by bellgirl
Thanks for all of the congratulations, I’m currently looking into which pastures will be open this summer so I’ll keep you posted Cal. I want you to be there even if you do get in a fight with some of the cows.
But for real, I am very happy and floating on cloud nine with graduating last Sunday, getting engaged on Tuesday, x-mas this friday and a cruise next week, I wish life was always full of this much fun! Hope everyone else is having fun during the holidays, we’ll keep you posted about the pasture!!

22 thoughts on “Happy Birthday Ashley!

  1. Funny stuff Zach- I wish we would have stuck with that pasture idea. I am sure that would be a little rough on everyone in January. Wwhazz and I are officiallly unemployed until we move to San Diego!!!!!!!!!
    Oh and FIRST

  2. Yo CAl– WW likes his mixtapes without liner notes, but since I rip your discs to my computer to enjoy I like being able to see what I’m listening to. Send me the track list for that MF Doom mixtape you made me, or post it in comments so i can copy it. WHAZZZ!

  3. “As far as the wedding goes, you all have some time. Next summer or fall, a good year and a half.”

    Pfffffft! I tried.

  4. Hey, you can’t condemn belly for not wanting to live in sin with you any longer. Drag yourself up out f the gutter and into Heaven where you belong, wirksu. And when St. Peter rivers your nut flush with a boat, give him the stinkeye. Or pinkeye.

  5. what up it’s nasty the villian, i’m still writing ryhmes but besides that i’m chillin. i think the tracklist went like this:

    1. Accordion
    2. Curls
    3. Money Folder
    4. Figaro
    5. El Chupe Nibre
    6. Sofa King
    7. Mask, The – (featuring Ghostface Killah)
    8. Perfect Hair
    9. Benzie Box – (featuring Cee-Lo)
    10. Old School – (featuring Talib Kweli)
    11. A.T.H.F. (Aqua Teen Hunger Force)
    12. Basket Case
    13. No Names (Black Debbie)
    14. Crosshairs
    15. Mince Meat
    16. Vats Of Urine
    17. Space Ho’s
    18. Bada Bing

  6. “don’t come with no kid”… so…. if i come, i need a kid. unstood, back to you conscious mind.

  7. i have just registered for the long kiss goodnight $50 tourney on pokerroom. purse over 7k already. i will donate 13% of my winnings to ashley moneypenny’s “its my birfday, fin to git krunk” birthday extraveganza. the party will be held at a bar of ashley’s choosing on the 26th or 27th of december in good ol’ ray ray.

  8. purse is over 10k. 1st is over 2500. 13% of 2500 is over 12% of 2200. do understand in racine prices how big of a party this might be?! WHOOP WHOOP, YA HEARD?!

  9. fucking shite. JQs. flop 9T2 with 2 of my suit. all in, called by 88 (?!@?#%!#@) fucker. any 8, any K, any J, any Q, any diamond or about 20 runner runner draws. nada. 2 on the turn, ace on the river. would have been chip leader. fucking donkey. sorry ashley.

  10. oh man moneypenny now i’m gonna make some art and send it to you:

    Afterwards, Steve and I talked about our experience. We both thought our drawing went well that evening, and that the music had indeed inspired us to produce good art. A day or two after this experience, I wrote the following poem about the experience and sent it in an e-mail to Steve. that wind done chilled us to the bone/but what up with that saxa-ma-phone????


  11. god damn it, i came to whazzmaster to post some brilliant realization about our global economy, and got lost in cal’s story. and now i forgot my thought. it would have shaped the world. fuck you cal. always ruining shit.

  12. Because world finance leaders are constantly monitoring whazzmaster.com for ideas; Madd, don’t fucking harass Cal for posting stories about naked men. It’s what he likes to do.

  13. obviously i enjoy it as well…. i mean, i let the fate of the free world down through my appreciation. it was a really good idea too. that is all i remember.

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