Merry Wedding, Mike and Jessi. Another happy whazzmaster couple has been officially paired off, and I Best Manned my ass off to make it happen. Thanks for honoring me with the Best Man title, Mr. and Mrs. Wirkus. I was happy as a clam to help you guys for almost two weeks, and I want to adopt the Gitter clan as my Second Family for all the hospitality they showed me. Thanks Mary, Andy, Liz, and Abby!

Use this thread to talk about your favorite parts of the wedding weekend/pre-wedding festivities.

It’s going to take me a loong time to decompress after this epic trip, but I’m finally on my way back to rainy California. This post is just an intial way to say thanks to everyone who let me hobo up their couch for days on end, and to organize a to-do list for myself for when I arrive back in Cali.


  1. Upload the wedding slideshow for download.
  2. Upload the following galleries for public consumption:
    • New Year’s Eve 2005
    • Pre-Wedding Festivities
    • Rehearsal Dinner
    • The Wedding Night
  3. Get all my pictures printed and start Scrappin’™ a new book themed on the wedding.

Cal and I had a great road trip back to Racine last night. Maybe the greatest part was the deconstruction of Whazzmaster. I never think of Whazzing outside the context of my own writings; I certainly never fathom what an outside person would say if they came across it. Maybe the funniest thing of the trip was when we discussed that lady who showed up some time ago asking for the sounds files to the Night in San Jose story. Imagine if you actually had the courage to post a comment on whazzmaster as a newcomer, and you were met with:

Madd Scientist: “Hey baby, what are you wearing right now?”
Cal: “Hi _______! How’s it going?!”
ktk: “Hi _______!”
zachery: “HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! Boom. Bold Cal out.”

We’re all nuts.

–except for you, scientist. you have a degree in theoretical economics

88 thoughts on “WEDDINGS!

  1. 1. Wheat thin measurements. Sadly, I am more comfortable imagining measurements in terms of wheat thins than in, for example, yards. Whenever anyone says anything about yards, like, he shot the victim from 50 yards, I nod in agreement all while thinking … 50 yards? Are you talking in metric, you dirty commie?
    2. KTK: I wanted to congratulate you in person on your new baby, but I felt a strange shyness that probably characterizes most internet relationships. Ackward meeting, nervous laughter. I’m still the shy nerd from middle school who thinks black jeans with white tennis shoes are cool. No wonder no one was my friend.
    3. Mr. Wirkuswhazz and Mrs. Bellygirl: can you email me your address in SD?
    4. Lawman’s fiance (gf? wife?) is my new favorite whazzer. Making a film about the Cuban embargo and how it’s really bad? A+ in my book.
    5. School starts tomorrow. If I flee the jurisdiction of the U.S. Department of Education, will my parents still be responsible for my loans they cosigned? Damn.
    6. Now that the Wirkuses are Cali residents, are the chances of ‘Whazzgiving 2007: the Saga Continues’ better? Give me something to live for.

  2. Hi.

    1. JenH, Thanks for the congratulations. I suffer from the same black pants white shoes syndrome.

    2. Here are a list of the foods that I have been craving non-stop for the last couple months (prepare yourself, it is tres disgusting). Subway meatball subs and grape or black cherry Shasta. My mind is grossed out, but it is sooooo good.

    3. I read Mrs. Bellgirl’s description and in my mind I imagined that they still look exactly the same and sat at the table together eating fish tacos.
    4. I too would like the new Whazz/Bellgirl address, please.

    5. Aaron got fired. Ha ha ha ha. Rumsey, your hair is much better than the Trumpsters.

    6. I could go for some wheat thins right now. About 3 cubic inches of them.

    7. O’Neil, can you get the phone # of Bryan Kalisch just in case things don’t work out with me & K-Car. Thanks.

    8. I have to go revise this F’in dissertation now. Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

  3. Before I do get back to work, please feel free to respond to the following poll:

    Which Bluth would you be most likely to get it on with?

    A. Buster Bluth

    B. G.O.B. Bluth

    C. Michael Bluth

    D. George Michael Bluth

  4. we will get all those who requested our address that info as soon as we have it. since we are doing the travel nurse thing they don’t get you your address until 10 ddays before your start date which is Jan 23rd. So we should get it on Friday and we leave the state Monday, talk about cutting it close. the joys of getting married/moving/starting a new job in a matter of weeks.

  5. Is the house packed up yet, bellygirl? How difficult was it cramalammadingdonging all the rest of your stuff into boxes?

  6. Two parts stand out from the season one DVD:
    1. The part where Marta says “I’ve made a huge mistake.”
    2. When Michael tells Lucille that the mafia wants to break Gob’s legs, she says, “Well that’s convenient, he already has a little SCOOTER!”

  7. was anyone that reads this site NOT on a path to destruction in 2003? do you think it was media influenced?

  8. even more compelling, do you think it was whazzmaster influenced? the virus that is internet group think which evolved around the same time….

  9. wikipedia to the rescue………… probably a term that doesn’t need to exist. summed up it’s explaining the tendancy of a group to have similar opinions, and drive each others belief of those opinions. it doesn’t factor in the posibility that the similar opinions catalysed the group’s existence or that the nature of a brain’s neural network implies previous decisions will effect future choices… so it’s pretty worthless science… just a name for an observation that in my mind is trivial. so why did the term and use of it come about? it is the explanation weak minded individuals use to justify their total lack of personality.

  10. better description: poker squared. imagine a poker decision… i should bet here… but he knows i should bet, so i’ll check raise… but he knows i would do that, so i’ll bet… oh but wait, i could be quadrupaly tricky, so i’ll check… no no, i got it, BLIND FOLD! group think is taking that 1 on 1 mental conversation of sorts and applying accross a population so that everyone is hooked up with everyone, and through that process we come to a conclusion. it’s the definition of life. it’s just poker of the populous. fun to think about conceptually, but it’s just a trap of idiocy… ignoring it truly does make it go away.

  11. the internet brings out the full potential of group think’s conceptual payload. i think “politics” is a good term to used about the process of controlling group think.

  12. group think: the application of group enforced doubt on an individual’s personal decision.

  13. 100 posts 100 posts 100 posts 100 posts 100 posts 100 posts 100 posts 100 posts 100 posts 100 posts

  14. see, now i could ask everyone how many posts they wanted… and maybe everyone really only wanted about 54 posts, but because of all this talk of 100 posts… maybe everyone will say like 100… or maybe 200, just to make sure they say more than someone else who decided to say more than someone who said more than 100. uh oh, better make it 201 just to be sure… ok 202…. 209. thats it. well… 309 just to be safe. 309 it is. so now we ask everyone how many posts they want and everyone says 309 even though everyone really wanted 54, and everyone thinks everyone is happy… and you want to know what? me and clyde were just fucking around. we don’t even care.

  15. I just made myself an avocado & tomato sandwich… on multi-grian bread w/ a little salt & pepper. Mmmmm. Lunch….

  16. I hope that this kid is way less neurotic than I am.
    This disseration is going only so-so right now. The whole stupid thing is written and it is so hard to go back and revise it. I’m giving myself 3 days per chapter. Then I’m going to ship it off to my readers.

    FYI the most annoying thing about being pg is that you are weighed constantly and the nurses always announce your weight really cheerfully and really loudly. I’ve spent the last 5+ years refusing to set foot on a scale (or look at the # if I’m in the Dr.’s office). Plus, I’ve gained about 5 lbs more than I should. Stupid scales.

  17. Tater tots are best eaten when deep fried. Some like them baked; I call these people “the clinically insane.”

  18. mama kalish, do you take your tot casserole with grape shasta? or is black cherry the preferred brew for this delicacy?

    as for fried tots, at the ole rathskeller we used to call those tater barrels and i have to agree, much better than the baked variety.

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