Here’s a screen capture of the help desk ticket I just submitted to corporate. It is in no way fake. I am really covered in ants right now.

A help desk ticket begging someone to come take the ants off me.

— real recognize real/on the microphone with wheels of mechanized steel

65 thoughts on “ANTS!

  1. fucking lurkers… like COCK roaches… unzip your pants and you’re covered in them. it is inconvienient to show up at meetings covered in cock roaches. here is a reason to berate lurker rach-o… an obscure javelin reference popped up and i mentioned revenge of the nerds… she was all like, HUH, so i asked if she had ever seen the movie… her response “NO! i’m not a nerrrrrrd!” wow. hateful.

  2. you know how with bomb pops you bite the ridges off first, then work the shaft? well american pops freeze process lets you eat one layer of flavor from atop another flavor layer. it’s called evolution, son.

  3. ok, because of ktk’s incessant chatter about the fake mc mc, i now put her at 4% chance. another logical loophole however in my brain? 4% also implies 100%, so now i’m more sure than ever it was her.

  4. what the fuck obscure javelin reference came up? and scientist, if you brought up revenge of the nerds, “you ARE a nerrrrrd!”

    “offsides, like how worf ride with starfleet”

  5. i was flipping the channels and some dude threw a javelin at a cop in a riot… i said “DAAAAAAAAAAAAMN”, rach-o was like, “what?”… then i said dude threw javelin, but “it didn’t have that wormser wobble on it”… “huh?”… “haven’t you ever seen… ” blah blah blah

  6. oh, and in those tourneys, didn’t cash in a single one. i was near chipleader, deep in the game in all of them. then i just started going all in on every table on every hand. i don’t know why i do that. i was 2nd in the omaha with 29 left. 3rd in the oil with 75 left. donk donk donk donk donk. i hate tourneys. wanna play any tonight?

  7. I just wanted to drop by and say hi, and Happy Valentine’s Day….I miss you…have a good ya…


  8. 10 times already today (maybe 20) i’ve flopped top 2 pair vs an overpair and the turn paired the baby. CUNT!

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