Bye, Bye California

I’m taking off tomorrow morning to go back to Wisconsin for the St. Patrick’s Day holiday. Should be fun; I’ll be staying at the Madison Conkizzle and 99% sure I’ll be hitting the O’Rumneil party on Friday. I also have a basketball whopping scheduled; not sure yet if I’ll be the one whopping or getting whopped. Either way should suffice, I suppose.

On Monday Judd followed through on his wedding party gift: tickets to a San Jose Sharks hockey game. We had a great time, and it’s true: drink beer through a straw for 2 hours and you really do get drunker. Here’s some evidence:

Me, drinking beer through a straw. Stupid; be glad you can't see it.
I am the coolest kid in my grade.

I'm drunk.
I am excited as fuck.

Have fun, whazzmaster. I’ll check back in occasionally.

— i’m going camping with some lesbians/and i can hardly waaaaaaaait

35 thoughts on “Bye, Bye California

  1. as if you need another reason to hate paypal… a fucker sent me over 3000, through about 15 transactions, then reversed them all. this made paypal shut down my account for suspiscious activity… that makes sense, right, someone ELSE sends you moneys, asks for it back, and YOU are held liable. man, i love banking without all the “protection”. so whatever, my income from the internet was shut down…. no paypal, no pay…. so whatever, that was months ago… they finally got back to me… “uh… you didn’t do it, you didn’t gain from it, but we are closing your account anyways, because we don’t like to deal with this stuff”. WHAT?! ok, you know what paypal, fuck you, give me my money… thanks… UH, paypal, WHERE IS THE REST? so you know that paypal charges like $1.00 + 39.9% per transaction, so if someone sends you $400… you really only get like 3 cents. (to be honest you get like $378). so after all these chargebacks, paypal would give me $378, then take back the whole $400… the mother fuckers made me eat the transaction fees on fraudulant transaction that never fucking existed. i swear to christ me and paypal are not done yet. not for a long shot. lets just say next time i come to the bay, we fin to RIDE. YA HEARD?!

  2. i will get $150 worth of revenge, then i will get interest. then i will get 39.9% more. fuck you paypal. fuck your mother.

  3. I have heretofore had no problems flying through Chicago O’Hare to all points Wisconsin. Today may end the streak with a bullet, as I see everywhere that Milwaukee-to-Chicago will be receiving a half-foot of snow today. ROAR. At least I’m in first class for the first leg of the trip; BLOODY MARY! BLOODY MARY! BLOODY MARY!

  4. oh man that was a faker post and now they’re getting good. they’ve employed the lower case as i, the real and true cal, often select. when reading cal posts you have to ask yourself, would cal say that? would the real and true cal say he would ride with the skeezer, and that it is a promise? sounds off to me. i would have said something more like, “sure skeezer let’s go for a ride” or “bladdy blu skeezer whaterver” or “you should lose some weight fatass skeezer” or “madd scientologist- how can I be down?” or “no you internet gambling all night staying up vulgar freak” anyway. whatever faker posters you can’t phase me because the people know you are dumb because your posts are crumbly like dumb cookies that I don’t even eat because of the sugar. that’s right I try to avoid sugar what of it? AND flour. That’s right white flour you think I’ll eat you? You think so fake poster? well you are wrong- whole wheat in the house YA HEARD? so it was the 15th yesterday and i was thinking about the old song “i only love you on the first and the fifteenth” what a great song! and the part about the 15th falling on a sunday. oh man that was classic. oh Madd Skeezer… when do you get paid?

  5. you wanna know how to drop the bold? you go: less than sign, letter b, greater than sign, then whatever you wanna bold, then less than sign, back slash, letter b, greater than sign. try it. to do italics you use an i instead of b. ya heard?

  6. yeah CAL, i did it fucking wrong… OK!?!?! YOU ARE THE BOLD MASTER. blah. bah. blah. bitty. blue. blah.

  7. Not much to report from the Wirkus’ Home.

    I start my new jizob on Friday, Bobby and Liz are coming over on Sunday, and that’s about it, really. I got a new Cali license yesterday. Had to take a test and everything, and I almost failed (5 wrong; 6 = fail). It was really hard and poorly worded. Jess got kicked out of the DMV for having a laminated birth certificate and she has to go back when she gets a new one. Stupid. Woulda never bothered except our car insurance sent a letter telling us we were dropped unless we got licensed in this state. Jess is kinda funny when confronted with bureaucracy/red tape. Her strategy of belligerently arguing her case to the lowest ranking employee in sight usually works out really well. In this case, she pleaded with the Guatemalan guy out front who was watering the flowers. I’m gonna fry for that one…

    In other news, Steven called. I guess I’m gonna head downtown to play cards and watch NCAA. Should be cool. Jess is at work so I’ll take the trolley. I reloaded on party and after a wonderful start (ran a nut flush in to a boat and had a busted set all in my first 20 hands) I righted the ship and made 50. I’m not gonna dress like a crow and rap about it from atop a tall building but I will smile over this small victory.

  8. [March 16, 2006 03:58 PM] by cal
    trew trew.
    what are you drinking beer out of a straw you… you…

    Break down:
    the you…you was perfect. The trew trew/i> was off.

    YA HEARD!?!

  9. You better not.

    Devil: Do it. You’re Hulk Hogan. You’ll win and then you can buy her something nice.

    Angel: True. Ok. Make some juice before you go.

    Devil: Sure thing pal.

  10. Cal ,
    Are you really against white bread? If so, how much? Is it something worth being against? On a scale of 1-10? Do you have good reasons? What is the worst food possible? Fire? Is it as bad as eating fire? Compare it to something. You have my ear.

  11. no way am i clicking on that. wwhaazz i don’t know if you really wrote that but white bread isn’t fire, no. but it’s highly refined and has very little nutritional value. ya heard? i’ll bet rumsey can speak to this issue better than me. in that case would i use “me”? so how about these basketball games? pretty exciting. and brad pitt! he is celebrity! sckeezer, i just want to roll with you. how can i be down?

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