Jesus Christ

Can anyone tell me why Dave Bush is still wearing a uniform? Not only should they relieve him, but they should tear his uniform off and set it on fire in the dugout. “So, uh, am I fired?” Dave Bush will ask. “Yes,” Yost will respond, and then he’ll turn to Prince Fielder and say, “get this piece of shit out of my sight.” Then Prince will clothesline Bush straight to Hell.

79 thoughts on “Jesus Christ

  1. i think here is my problem… i’m at the store… with a G in my pocket… i live 1 mile away and have an empty care to take everything home… i am walking around the store, picking items, and instead of taking them off the shelf, paying for them, and taking them home, i am wasting BOTH of our time and asking you to do that and just give it to me later when i’ll be busy and i’ll take it home then. if you wanted to use the registery, and MUST MUST MUST give a gift, then whats wrong with cash? how is registry + wasting BOTH our time better than cash? we obviously know we wasting each others time, so is it the assumption that we are thinking about each other WHILE wasting this time that is important? hey, i could have put cash in an envelope last second, but NO! i went to the store you had already been too and printed off a sheet that said what you wanted, and then brought it to you! IM A REAL FRIEND! it must be a girl thing… i’ll just ignore it.

  2. “having been to cuba twice i’m going to have to say…no one there can do a gift registry. so i may have to disagree with the commie assessment. but they all have health care, education, and a roof over their head which is more than i can say for the US.”

    Then why are there no dudes rockin home made boats from the US to Cuba? I have never been to Cuba but I’d bet my entire betonbet bankroll that if I were sick, I could get better treatment here, my public education is better than the average Sanchez and the overall quality of every roof I’ve ever been under is of better quality than the average Cuban roof.

  3. we already got the picnic basket with the cheese and wine and cutting board, plates, nakins, silverware, toothpicks, salt, pepper, fine plastic stemware, doggy treats and a large container of bubble mix. our picnic will be so kick ass! now i just have to maintain 3 square feet of my house for the rest of my life to store this thing for the 363 days of the year that i don’t use it.

  4. us has homeless people… cuba has no concept of homeless… i think we can all agree the US has better quality of all 3 obviously… just not available to everyone. only those who don’t smell bad.

  5. also, in my eyes, throughout history, a picnic basket was an AWESOME gift right up until the point when large plush backpacks were invented. at that point, why did we decide to keep picnic baskets around? man, i’m a dick. being a minimalist is hard work these days.

  6. no thanks, i’d rather keep it stiff and clumsy so i can use the handles and have it splinter up my thighs every other step… no thanks jansport… i’ll keep the basket.

  7. oh no, RAIN! my basket is now a mess of mold, rot, and mildew. oh no, my scotchguarded backpack is the same as it always was.

  8. let me reiterate however, that we will of course use the basket and have a great time. especially the bubbles. the bubbles were good touch. just because they almost confirm the ridiculousness of it all. i just don’t get it. i’m pretty sure rach-o believes that she gets it… so i guess we’re set. off to disc golf haters. i’m registered at target if you’d like to buy me something while i’m gone.

  9. I bucked the registry trend and Scrapped™ up a scrapbook for the Wirksu/Glitter wedding. Anyone want a Scrapbook for their weeding this year? Scientist? O’Rumsey? Say teh word and an unforgetable conglomeration of construction paper and photos could be yours. Glitter costs extra.

  10. whazzmaster.com: An Unforgetable Conglomeration of Construction Paper and Photos

  11. i think “how you scrappin?” should be included in the 2006 accepted slang dictionary in the “positive greetings” section. it puts the soul of ones life in a scrapbook and questions how there current state of adding to that scrapbook (referred to as scrapping, or scrappin), is going. the preferred neutralization response has not yet been agreed upon, but the top street contenders are “tite”, “too tite”, and “holllarit”. oh man, i only have 11 minutes to get across the street to my internet gambling date with 2 dudes! if only there were a way to harness that down time right before meetings. IM OFF!

  12. wirkus, you could get good health care because you have insurance (at least i assume you do since you have an employed, ultra competent nuse wife) but like thousands of americans, i would NOT have health coverage were i to get sick. bummer. another reason why i’m going through the wedding rigamarole. (sorry, lawman, you are great and all but health insurance is great too!)

  13. Gotta ride or die to a meeting myself, the blogstorm seems to be cooling down.

  14. MP, i think your new name should be scrapmaster. that was a very thoughtful gift, best man. and the photo montage to music was a nice touch. being in the photo biz myself i am obviously a fan of photo gifts. we too gave the gitterwirkusez a photo (well, video) gift but you already knew that since you probably watch the DVD every night before you go to bed. kidding.

  15. man today yielded more rumsey posts than all the others i’ve made on whazzmaster put together. sorry for getting carried away. i guess i just felt the need to a) defend my selfish wedding china and b) defend my fair cuba. i’ll peep down now.

  16. dealer danny won the $180 tourney at garden city. i won $8 in disc golf. me and dealer danny are both winners! mp, i’d like to point out that for $180, you had the opportunity to go play a 1/2 hold’em, 1/2 omaha tourney over at GC with THE dealer danny, and you decided that doing whatever else you did instead was more important. if you are going to say nihand to someone at a poker table, he is THE someone to do it to. watch out for those running 7s though.

  17. You can just go to the ER and ditch out on the bill, and I’m pretty sure that beats the pants off of their “free” health care. Universal health care is a cool idea and all but what is their reality? Good doctors? Good service? State of the art equipment and procedures?

  18. $33 plo8 in 36 minutes. if you know my style of play, this is the tourney it is most effective at and ALSO has the highest rewards. the two are obviously linked. see you there.

  19. OK this is all i’m going to say about the Cuban health care system and then i’m out on this issue. their infant mortality rates are lower than ours, their premie birth rates are lower than ours. their breastfeeding rates are 100% (which puts us to shame.) their life expectancy on average is the same or better than ours. cancer rates are lower, neurological disease rates are lower, blah blah blah. don’t knock it till you’ve tried it! and btw, you can’t “ditch out” on an ER bill when you need chemo and other longterm care. plus as the daughter of two medical professionals i couldn’t do that ethically so that leaves me SOL until i get health insurance c/o aaron.

  20. is it possible the cuban propeganda i have been fed all my life is not true?

  21. Health Care: Cuba vs USA

    I will respect your wishes to leave this issue, but that means we are leaving the issue not only unresolved (can debate even resolve an issue?) but also without illuminating the subject which to me is the real purpose of debate. When you drop a remark on me like “but they all have health care, education, and a roof over their head which is more than i can say for the US.” I take that to mean, partially, that the health care system in Cuba outkicks the health care system in the US.

    And I know little about the health care system in both countries, but if I were injured in a car wreck, I would have more faith in the USA’s ability to transport, treat and utlimatley heal my injuries than that of Cuba’s. I’ve seen pictures of the cars they drive over in Cuba. Have you ever seen our ambulances? Holy shit. They rock.

    Now “Health Care” is an umbrella term that covers much more than bitching ambulance rides, and when it comes to the statistics associated with childbirth anywhere, I know nothing, but “their breastfeeding rates are 100% (which puts us to shame.)” rings as untrue and impossible to tally.

    With that said: moving on.

Comments are closed.