The O’Rumsey Affaire

Another summer, another wedding on the North Shore of the Great Lake Superior. It truly is Superior to every other lake. The scenery did not disappoint, the wedding did not disappoint, the reception did not disappoint, and the inimitable KVR most certainly did not disappoint. That dude is gold, and for that fraction of a second when he and the madd scientist shook hands, far-off universes sprang into existence and then faded as we traveled north. I swear ‘fore god those fools could solve every world problem in an hour with enough access to booze and a graphing calculator.

The Groom and I

At the campfire on Friday night the great Mystery Marryer, that Lutzen Libre Warrior made an appearence. The toots and tootles from his recorder carried on the wind, and then he was gone: off to the game room to try to win the salivating hordes a Panasonic two-way walkie talkie set. Alas, twas a fool’s errand. Only a complete buffoon would think that a hotel game room puzzle game would be any easier than the rigged carny games of yore. In any case, Quince would sleep well knowing that we HOLLLARIT’d many times between Friday afternoon and Sunday morning.

The aforementioned “impossible-to-win” game

The ceremony on Saturday was delightful, filled with non-traditional stuff that livened things up. Oh, and butterflies flew. I was there. I saw it.

Hotness Squared

Yes, yes; moves were busted and buttercups were built up at the reception. I thought the leader of the band (The Howling Hollywoods?) had gone four shades shy of nuts when he handed out the cow bell and then the tambourine to bellygirl. She shook her chris moneymaker like there was no tomorrow, but to her credit she gave up her favorite toy when other people wanted to play. Holy hell her hands were swollen on Sunday; I think Stacy called it Tambourine-Hand.

Later on in the evening we turned the resort beach into Tha Afterparty and kicked it old school with neat scotch and seegars. Also, wwhazz roared out of retirement and ‘acquired’ some booze from the bar to add to the stash. Yes, yes: Cal was Cal. His floppy brown hat was absent, but he made up for it with an enthusiasm for taking pictures the likes of which have never been seen. He even went for a loooong run on Saturday morning while the rest of us went on nature walks and played shuffleboard. I wish we could have ate at Betty’s Pies with him on the way back, *dreamy sigh*.

KVR and Me, Drunk

On the way back down to the mini-apple we also hit Gooseberry Falls for a quick touristy photo op, and then listened as the Cubs put the boot on the Brewers’ throat and squashed it with their heel. *Angry sigh*

Us, in front of Jumpwaterberry Falls

Thanks so much to Aaron and Emily for the invite, I was honored to have been a tiny part of the festivities. That’s two years inna row I’ve been to the North Shore in the summer, and damned if that place don’t grow on you. Maddddd shouts to the Scientist also, as I realized only when sitting in the plane to Minnesota that I never actually asked if he would pick me up at the airport or if we could crash at his apartment on Thursday night; I just kinda assumed. Thanks man, I hope we didn’t wreck your place too much. At any rate, I love Alleygators. HOLLLARIT QUINCE!

HOLLLARIT ain’t justa word: it’s a Way of Life.

Sing the following to the tune of the old cavalry bugle song and you’ll be guaranteed to have a great day:

There once was a dog,
and his name was Quince,
and one time he said “HOLLLARIT!”

43 thoughts on “The O’Rumsey Affaire

  1. zmoney you’ve made a wonderful post and at this moment i can’t think of much to add. maybe a good ol’ fun time had by all, romantic as hell. thanks from the wirkusez to the o’rumseyzz for having us up to lutzen, northern minnesota truly is a breathtaking place. your families are both wonderful- emily your dad and uncle sure can play and oneil your dad sure knows how to dance. i sure did have the time of my life with that tambourine and cowbell, i wish i could leave my job and tour with them this summer. rumsey sure got into that tambourine, cowbell and drumset, i think she may have a future as well. madd sciezer and rach-ho thanks for your warm plymouth hospitality, we appreciate it. fireworks, berryweiss, alleygators, pizza fights, smores, backgammon, scrabble, disc golf, we coudn’t ask for more. oh and make sure to tell quince, HOLLLARIT!!!!!!!!!

    ktk, kcar and hadley we sure missed you, hope we can get together sometime in the near future.

  2. i am in the “why would i NOT do this” phase on an idea involving starting my own dog care business out of my home. i have been in this stage for 20 minutes and can’t really come up with an answer. uh oh. CAL!

  3. also, almost at the final table of the 20 that started before the 10 omaha that started before the 5 turbo that started before the oil. needless to say i have busted out of all the rest and my good ol virgin tourney of the night is comin up disease free! BOO YAH! HOLLLLLLLLARIT! (note: always use a fibonacci number number of L’s… it just looks better). HOLLLLLLLLLLLLLARIT QUINCE!

  4. OK guys, what I’m about to tell you is a true story. One time I was sitting around scientist’s house while he was out grocery shopping. I was watching Star Trek: The Next Generation when I noticed that Quincy (Scientist’s dog) had snuck up next to me. Before I knew it, he had opened his mouth and (in English, mind you) said, “HOLLLARIT!”

  5. of course, minimum 3…. but remember, that is just the minimum. we encourage users to express themselves…….. 3 is the minimum……..

  6. yeah, once upon a time i heard that story that once that dog said HOLLLARIT! one time. awesome.

  7. was 3rd of 15 lost 3 hands in a row all-in against medium stacks all flips. 9th of 12 now. top 10 pay.

  8. if you want me to be like your pretty boy brian with 37 L’s, just make that rule!!@%@#%^@#$$^SF [flipping you off!!!!]

  9. you want some L’s? you want some L’s? HERE IS WHAT I THINK OF YOUR L’S#@^@#)(* HOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLARIT!#^

  10. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. 12th. AKs, AJs, and KQs all vs JJ. the last hand was KQ vs JJ…. AA2 flop. COME ON. 99 vs AT the other time… i mean come on. COME ON. TOTAL FUCKING BS. 4 in a fucking row on the bubble. win ANY and i’m dancing. DANCE-CEING. lost all 4. ALL-L 4. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLKIT. FUCK.

  11. continuing on the idea of me and kvr and a ti-81 and a 2000 pack of berry weiss… (not the year, the quantity) fournierre included as a satellite……………. VISIONARY. i engage in friendly battles of wit as a source of lets just say protein in my diet of life cereal even though i don’t eat cereal if you catch my drift cal. no comma… new english refinement: sentances can be ended with the world cal implying “let this sentance’s validity stand firm as our benevolent wearer of hats, cal.” also, you can make new rules midsentance…… yipes. anyways, these people THINK. use the process of not knowing, but INNOVATING on a daily basis. they don’t know something, recall it and execute. NEY! they innovate. so think about what these people will do for fun and how they will spend their disposible income, and how someone that doesn’t innovate as part of their job might feel a certain primal urge to thus innovate in the way they spend their leisure time and cash. seriously, i just want a pint of ether and a frisbee cal.

  12. can you guys even believe how fucking puffy that hat was? jesus. “was”. it hurts to say it.

  13. also, note, cal is SUPREMELY firm. granite firm. is that even firm? i wouldn’t doubt if it was.

  14. ………………………and……………………………….. scene. BYE FOLKS!

  15. say that shit as a lyric, and then call someone your “DOODEO” (if you can figure out why, props) i really hope this is how e40 creates slang, cause it’s awesome. the “ooo” is a soft “O”. annunciate. that shit is tite.

  16. hey zmoney i can’t stand the suspense anymore, what happened when you opened your treat bag on the plane? Did you enjoy it? Did you find any surprises?

  17. zmoney- also i sent you your photos + our photos from the weekend via kodak gallery. i do promise to look into to flickerdick though.

  18. i am embarassed to say i forgot about my treat bag on the plane. sry. I’ll open it up tonight and let the snakes hit me or whatever you did to me. re: photos, i didn’t get no photos yet. hopefully gmail will get them soon.

  19. whatever happened to the first rule of whazzmaster? sigh. mc madd cognizant would not approve of real names being used. that dude is crazy.

  20. Halllawho? Halllaboot? That dude’s show is bonkers. I listened to two of them. Motherfucker loves him a pocket pair. And did you see his daughter? Hubba, hubba, hubba.

  21. Ok. I’m sitting down to play 2-4 whazzmaster limit. I got pocket Cals. Going to raise it to 14 but they are all going to call. They always call. See? SEE!?! Jesus, one of them has a manders. You know it. One time. Come on one time. The flop has a floppy brown hat. Oh yes! Bet the pot… they all folded. Jesus Christ! Every time. FOur Buyins. I’m tilty. God damn it.

  22. in a few of them dude is playing with like 5k in front of him… well… for a little bit, until he goes all in with 88 on a 9 high flop and someone calls with a flush draw and overs (favorite) and he loses it all… rebuys, and loses it all again within 10 hands. his wife does daycare and there are just tons of kids screaming in the background and he doesn’t care. instead he is dropping 10k in his office. if he took like $200 and spent that on shit to do with those whining kids they could all be happy, but no, he would rather everyone be mad. like computers? check out this rapper doing the standard A-Z song with nerdy computer stuff

  23. “They are double and in some cases, triple tethered at all times depending on where they are,” Navias (NASA lead spokesman) said. “Their chances of ever floating away are zero.” i have no faith in anyone that thinks the chance of something that could so obviously MAYBE happen is 0, or any organization that would hire him. is this how you do business now NASA? with lies? when i am president, i am cutting your funding to 0, and starting MADDSA. it will be so much better than you fucking liars. 0. dude said 0. does he even KNOW any of the scientistS? jesus christ.

  24. at a MADDSA press conference, this is how I (yes, me personally… not some spokesman the organization can hide behind and then replace… fucking politics), anyways, fine ass news lady: “what are the chances that an astronaut doing a space walk could lose his tether and float off into space?” me: “50/50… either he does or he doesn’t… am i right?! HAHAHAHA. this is a dangerous job, and no one takes it more seriously than the astronauts whose lives are inevitably at risk. everyone does everything they can. the risk is as close to zero as we can make it right now. technology changes all the time, and when it does, we adapt, but i’m sure you knew that before you asked such a stupid fucking question. look news lady, you are banned. but meet me in room 204 with your fine ass. HOLLLARIT.” maybe one day we wont let the media and political correctness and the value of reputation drive our society and rather get down to business and make sure that shit really is as CLOSE to zero as we can make it without sitting around on our literal thumbs and pretending it’s already perfect. i hate most things.

  25. Wow. Just wasted a good hour watching air hockey on U tube. Saw only one A+ match. The rest were just fuckers playing… though one dud ewrote a song that went “I like air hockey like some people like fucking” over and over. Me too, buddy. Me too.

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