Announcement

Announcing...

my name is phineas rumsey-o’neil and my birthday is july 9, 2006. i
currently weigh 5 lbs. 2oz.

thanks, and i look forward to meeting you soon!

woof,

phineas

73 thoughts on “Announcement

  1. PR is doing a new promotion… play 66 rounds of all are casino games, and get a ticket to a $6,666 freeroll. so i had to play 66 rounds of roulette… $.50 chips. so i just put 1 chip on red and one on black and ran it on the double 0 wheel. lost twice (right on schedule) and met my requirement. the thing is, it was fun in a pyschotic degenerate gambling sort of way… you can’t win… you just want to NOT LOSE! it must feel like how my opponents approach poker, perhaps it’s why they come back, cause damn its fun to not die. i could certainly see myself getting drunk as shit on the houses dime, tipping $1 for crown and cokes and betting $5 on red and $5 on black. then get REALLY into the game. how could the house be mad at me? i would chug the drinks and demand another instantly. expect to lose like $10 an hour, and drink 7 crown and cokes at a buck a piece. thats $17 for 7 crown and cokes SHIPPED + entertainment and stage time. man vegas, you sure are a pal!

  2. 1. thanks belly.
    2. i am twenty eight today.
    3. thanks scientist.
    4. after scientist posted “i have verbally declared that if i don’t get top 5, i quit,” i really wanted the next post to be “i quit.”
    5. whoa, big show! thanks, buddy. seeya in a few months. heard you shop where big j shops.
    6. HOLLLARIT, whazzmaster.

  3. damn… got a few quads in video poker, tore up BJ, put $20 all over the board last round of roulette and got PIZZZZAID PHAT… slots came up on a double wild, and told the chinese pai gow dealer NIHAND, BUT MI HAND NIER. broke them off. every game i won. only one left is craps, but the server won’t accept connects. i think i could make a living doing this.

  4. belly, just looked at the pictures:
    1. i like the teased-out hair look.
    2. Hooters Hotel and Casino looked rockin. I wanna stay there next time (*whisper* cuz of the HOOTERS)
    3. lots of pictures of wwhazz flashing his trademark “not quite a smile and not quite a smirk”
    4. i LOL’d at wwhazz in a weird t-shirt
    5. who are wwhazz 3 late-night buddies? they looked just swrthy enough to beat him to death and carry you off as the spoils of war.

  5. happy birthday! maybe you’ll get a twins victory on your birthday! how about that?!? would you like that? would you? would you?

  6. INTERNET GAMBLING IS ABOUT TO BE SERIOUSLY RAPED BY A VAGUE RIDER IN AN UNRELATED BILL THAT UNEXPECTED GOT THROUGH CONGRESS (perhaps because they stole wwhazz’s $25 and said they never got it, and then blew it on dr pepper instead of actually fighting the law…) anyways, bush is supposed to sign it within 2 weeks. and a lot of people are convinced this is all the non-existant unlawful ammuntion the government needs to attack. so now until someone fights this new law it’s assumed law. look. the legal system isn’t growing usefully according to the old rules anymore. too much hypocricy in the dependancy chains. some would say that is the effect of judges with different morals. i claim these are the net results of a system that is too bloated for it’s own good. lets make everything legal again and start from square one. murder:… lets go with illegal. any other suggestions?

  7. bah. time for bush to make his nixonish legacy. I AM A CROOK! I AM A CROOK! I MADE 100 BILLION IN THAT WEEK WHERE GAS WAS $3.50. I AM A CROOK. PEOPLE BUY ME OFF. I DONT EXIST AS A PERSON WITH HIS OWN THOUGHTS. I AM A MIXTURE OF IDEALS BOUGHT BY HARD CASH. GOT ANY COCAINE? fucking bush.

  8. like 10 cops got fired today all on unrelated charges ranging from pistol whipping to filing false reports to hamburglary. i should just be a cop. sour the milk… YA HEARDED?

  9. we got al franken living here going to run for governor in 2008 and pres in 2012 or 2016. this upcoming robin williams movie is just a prime laying down an intial test bed for potential criticism: ie. you used to make your living doing fart jokes. justify your existance. all the candidates want lower property taxes but like i said all the ads then are criticizing the people when they actually do spend money or try to save money… it’s like you can’t win. but both sides are playing. DICK FIGHT.

  10. I like it when I’m down in san dog and wwhazz is playing a tourney and he yells “DICK FIGHT” and then pushes all in. I think it’s even funnier when he loses those hands.

  11. go al! i heart heart heart al franken i wish i lived there so i could vote for him.

    2-0 A’s in the 3rd. come on Twins! santana’s got 7 K’s through four innings! COME ON TWINS HIT THE BALL. stupid Castillo led off the bottom of the first with a walk- and then tried to steal on Kendall! say goodbye to your only baserunner twins. so dumb!

  12. dick fight = i know you know i don’t have anything, but i’m telling you i do. you know i know you don’t have anything, but you’re telling me i do. we both know. the dicks are out. you can’t put it back… then you might as well just invert it… make it a pussy and call manhood a day. be a bitch. lose a dick fight. don’t pull it out if you ain’t going to use it… and just because it’s dirty, don’t stop. and it might hurt a little. don’t stop. RAISE. trust me.

  13. dick fight = mike mc DEE vs golf pro. i take worms side… “WHAT DOES IT MEAN YOU DIDN’T HAVE IT?!?! RAISE!” it’s a fucking dick fight.

  14. dang it, only had to play 5 of the casino games for 66 rounds. not all of them. oh well… already done, and i won and it was fun. good promotion though, i’m not sure how many people will actually do it, and PR is putting up $6,666… might be only 100 people… who knows.

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