Announcement

Announcing...

my name is phineas rumsey-o’neil and my birthday is july 9, 2006. i
currently weigh 5 lbs. 2oz.

thanks, and i look forward to meeting you soon!

woof,

phineas

73 thoughts on “Announcement

  1. I can hear cal saying “great. a dog.” in my mind. The mind reels at how realistic it sounds. I can even tell you how he would look while saying it: sitting at a table, his palm on the side of his face, eyes rolling.

  2. sorry hommies i couldn’t resist. dogs and babies whatever happened to muckraking? for crying out loud.

  3. You’re perfectly welcome to go live on a ranch in the San Joaquin Valley and detail the hardships the farmers endure because of the railroad monopoly, OR run marathons against Rock Chalk. Others wish to live out there days with sock puppet-ish canines. Personally, I’m looking forward to investigative journalism on the rough-and-tumble streets of Madison. “Who were you working for?! WHOOOOOOOOOOO?”

  4. cal, does it help if i tell you that i’m from MINNESOTA?! does it help that i tell you my great great uncle angelo guiliani was a MN twin and later a scout who signed kent herbek? if you don’t like me yet, go sit under your floppy brown hat until you get happy.

  5. Yo madd,

    You still cold on pokerroom? I’ve cashed 2k off party in the last 3 weeks (and one week I was out of town) but on pokerroom sharkscope has Pal on super tilt and belly on tilt. Total BS.

  6. You are a dead man. What’s our side bet on next week’s big fantasy football matchup? I say loser has to post a pic of themself in their underware holding a sign of the winner’s choosing.

  7. cal’s sign should say “greg, wish you were here”. w-whazz’s sign should say “greg, wish you were here”.

  8. i got a chihauauaua coming on thursday and staying for like 3 weeks. if all goes well, maybe i’ll get my dog sitting license and then i can help you guys out in the future. HOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLARIT

  9. That shark scope sure hurts my feelings…

    Super tilt? I’m only down 20 bones over the last week due to limit wins and 30 man turbo wins.

  10. the amount of propeganda on tv each day is becoming increasingly alarming. like… it might usually be at about 5-30% depending on what you are watching, and lately its like 85% across the board. manipulative double speak is totally the new black.

  11. fall sweeps in an election year… WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. every campaign in this area is DIRTY AS FUCK. like… i’m not sure how everyone else is seeing this shit… but all the candidates are running hate shit on each other so obviously wrong they would borderline get laughs on an SNL sketch on fake hate ads. i almost think that the candidates are putting out the hate ads on themselves THEMSELVES and then over producing them, and driving the point home that it doesn’t matter and it actually hurts their opponent. like they are that dumb. SOMEONE paying for these ads assumes everyone is a complete sheepish moron. and that someone can afford a lot of ads… either that or has access to a lot of a dead airtime. comcast, making the world a better place. i mean, it’s obvious they are trying to take over the country. look at their own ads that run in 50%+ of the ad space provided to end user providers that they can’t sell to anyone else… they use the word comcastic over and over… almost like america… so what is the obvious next step? they are setting the stage for comcastica. a country ruled by ted turner and baby spice. helen hunt is the secratary of wheat rice and barry truman is captain of the moon.

  12. they are even going to the 4th and 5th level where they might get tracy morgan out finally and doing the “blah blah should feel ashamed ads” and the “blah blah thinks i should feel ashamed”… like GEE. BUS. do these people just sit in a studio all day watching each others ads? are they working together to quiet a 3rd party candidate and make it impossible for him to rise up? ding ding ding. it’s political drafting in the most obviousity of situations. there is no law you could make to stop it. comedians make fun of it to ensure the public is aware. like really, if you were REALLY REALLY smart, a 3rd party candidate would come out and accuse them both of this in the same bullshit roundabout way they are attacking each other, and be like “blah blah. a BETTER choice. the choice they are trying to distract you from”. obviously making fun of the situation doesn’t stop the situation from happening over and over due to the stakes. tournament strategy of life, so the only way to win is to push 93o. trust me. RAISE.

  13. look… tom goes to the mayor… i want to see tom run for mayor. not right now, because the story is good and even though the premises are random, the characters still seem to be growing… so when the inflexion point is implied, tom must run for mayor. and he must win. and there must be at least 3 episodes after tom wins. and it must still be called tom goes to the mayor. and the character that was the mayor must still be in it. and he isn’t down about losing… a fire is lit under him and he is pulling out all of his political strings posturing for a county executive position so he could get the power back in the town and make tom useless. and now tom has to still go to a higher ups office as well as deal with idiots like himself screwing with him. then of course they collapse each other and go back to the way things used to be, and you got yourselves job security for at least another season. and that show is prime for product placements, go ahead and make a few bucks. we understand.

  14. I’m never voting again. Ever. I’m done with it.

    Also, just got 2nd in a 50 turbo. Super tilt? Why you so hateful, sharkscope? Why?

  15. My plan is to make a compound in central WI and when that gets raided, I’m going Canuckecumber. Ask raj. We’ve been plotting.

  16. in my omaha tournament, the idiots that red line the gap and get leap frogged are chatting… it’s hilarious…. “in a game where the flop could break you, why would you ever raise pre-flop?” “this is insane!” “you are an idiot. you will never make the money”…. it’s like they are looking at me while i’m passing them… and they are thinking “what were YOU thinking?!?!” about ME! it just blows my mind… they are telling me how i’m winning to my face, and they still don’t get it. WHY WOULD YOU EVER SLOW DOWN?! IT’S A RACE?! YOU SLOWED DOWN, I SAW YOU, I BLEW PAST YOU YOU SLOW FUCK! THEN 2 SECONDS LATER YOU BLEW BY ME! YOU ARE SO DUMB! I SO FLEW PAST YOU! YOU’LL NEVER WIN!

  17. sadly lately i’m dying at the finish line getting hit by meteors. nerds will claim this is impossible. “it was probably a meteorite… star trek calculators dungeons and dragons”. and hey… don’t think i don’t know that you spell casting fuck. that is the weird thing… meteors are just showing up. ALL THE TIME. they shouldn’t. there is a black cat in the system. i’m ok with it though. i can stop bullets. i made thriller. so it’s been heartbreaking… complete domination, building huge stacks, and the worst, most unlikely beats i’ve ever seen are just materializing beneath an atmosphere that should have burned them up. or at least got hit by a stray knife made out of butter. or cal. today started out with $20 limit SNG. 1st. got huge stack in O8 multi and single, but i’ve had the biggest stacks i’ve ever had as early and as late as i’ve ever had last 20 tourneys and died with no suspects 19 of them. then a win to cover the buy-ins just to keep me around waiting for the next deposit bonus. you are breaking my balls PR. you’re breaking my balls. i think they turned off the doom switch again though… you gotta go in the ring games lobby and type “SUPPORT: please turn off my doom switch.” then go in the tournement lobby and type the same. wait 12 hours, play. then attach a leech to your eye.

  18. 52 from 111 left. i’m still sore about losing that 50k pot that would have guaranteed me a nice piece from a HUGE pie. tina yothers pie.

  19. the fugative is on the tv, so i can just let harrison ford do all the unjust system hating for me. it gives me time to spot materializing meteors. still not sure what to do after i see one though. hopefully i’ll get a read and something will come to me. if not, i guess it was going to hit me anyways…. deal.

  20. just got this one “??????????????” “on a LOW DRAW?????”… we chopped and he was befuddled… HUH?! WHY DON’T I WIN?!?! MY CAR IN THIS RACE BEAT YOU BY 20 LAPS?!?!?! JUST BECAUSE YOU HAD A NITROUS BOOST LEFT IN YOUR OTHER CAR IN THE OTHER RACE AND BEAT ME AT THE FINISH THAT MEANS I DON’T WIN?!?! I JUST DON’T GET IT!#%(*&!#% I BEAT YOU BY 20 LAPS. wake the fuck up people. you’re dumb. not you whazzers… my competition at this game of ignorance.

  21. 2nd tourney finished was $30 ploit SNG. had 10k vs 5k heads up and lost 2 BS rivers in a row to get 2nd. not entirely bad, “lost profit” doesn’t exist theoretically, but it still burns my grinded gears. still healthy in both multis too.

  22. did you get my speakers out of that monster first? they are PRECIOUSSSSSSSSSS. i got raped on the resale of mine… i think i paid $1200+125 shipping and sold for $600 local. if i could get that thing back for $600 local here, i would do it in a heart beat. can you take the thing apart completely? i’m just saying… only thing i regret got getting back are whazz machine and motorcycle, and both i took a huge hit on selling and would take just a big a hit buying again and then potentially selling again in a vicious loop where i might want to buy AGAIN. sigh. see ya later rancho. we had a lot of good times. sometimes you gave me the always, and sometimes you gave me the sometimes. -20… did that. a lot. hole in ones? every time i see you, baby. prophecy hole? fulfilled it so many times the motherboard would automatically change my initials to HOV. see ya later buddy. thanks for letting me play with your sleak round white ball.

  23. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. first multi got 13th. was chip leader with 14. donk donk donk. AQQ3 double suited… 27T flop with 2 of my suit. i go all in 3 way action for chip leader pot. miss the low, miss the flush, and someone hits trip sevens on the river. FUCK. at the same time i quadrupaled up in the other multi and i’m 1st of 20 from 82. if i get 12th in this one, i am going to leave my house and SOMETHING will feel my wrath. then god will know i’m not to be fucked with. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

  24. when you’re the hulk, then send 3 tanks and a helicopter. and you’re like? uh… no problem. flick, flack, fluck… then boom. the tank you flacked, flycked the tank you flucked no the barrel pinched a nerve in your butt, and you’re dead. and as the last pulse of consciousness fades from you’re freakish body the only thing you can think is “HULK. how could you let this happen?” bah. thats like 6 biggish multis in a row where 1st would be like a lot of money, and i could be 5:1 chip leader on 2nd with about 1 table left… and i lose them all. just shitty.

  25. and all of them the projections said i couldn’t lose. thanks projections. always looking ahead. BAH. what about now projections? i’m dead. ASHES. who woulda thunk i’d be smokin YOUR ass. mark of buddah my ass. and if you’re really my boy, you’ll help me in this other ploiter. HOLLLLLLLLARIT

  26. tuesday. october 10th. 8pm. spike tv. free UFC fight tito ortiz vs ken shamrock. if you have cable and nothing to do, seriously, check that out.

  27. i got 1st. so thats 1st, 2nd, bubble, 1st, last. now that’s what a day should look like… not bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble. come on PR… if you are going to cheat me don’t make it obvious. mike mc DEE folds the case hand once in a while, even when worm offers it. didn’t you learn that lesson PR? TURN OFF MY DOOM SWITCH! WHERE IS MY MONEY?!#%^!?#^^

  28. republicans are just giving up control and leeching onto a leg giving those who claim they are democrats to take the theoretical lead about 62:38, knowing they can use moves the dems wont use (like exploiting people, imagine that) to get it back to 50:50 at least and take another stab at it. this country is split on the idiot if one person should exploit another regardless of the ends. why even fight… just exploit or be exploited… pretty simplel choice really. do nothing.

  29. i’m an idiot. idiot = idea. not in this case though… i’m not an idea. i’m real. a real idiot. fo real. if i proofread my shit… perhaps people might understand what i’m saying.

  30. the economic concept of slavery is still very much alive in this country. civil war 2, coming fall 2011, right after world war 2007. at least we know brad pitt and ed norton are on our sides… oh man… what if they’re NOT?!

  31. happy birthday whazzmaster, how old are you? not as old as wwhazz and that’s all that matters, have a nice birthday, love, bellygirl

  32. OH SNAP, ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY! POUR SOME BACARDI ON BALLS IN THE SHOWER LIKE ITS YOUR BIRTH-DAY! GO BIRTHDAY!

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