Diego

I’m posted up in the Intuit San Diego offices; me and wwhazz carpooled to the office this morning like a pair of corporate warriors.  Except I’m going to spend my day coding and he’ll spend his day writing and then playing with a dog on the beach.  Got in late last night and wwhazz, bellygirl, spacebee, and I had a mini-house party with everything from Jameson Irish Whiskey to Shaggy’s seminal work: “Tell Her It Wasn’t You”.  Tonight should also be low-ki since I have to work tomorrow as well, but once the weekend hits say goodbye to social mores.  S’mores? HOLLLARIT whazzmaster, you know I love you.

77 thoughts on “Diego

  1. unless of course w-whazz really was in need of help and he only had time to open up whazzmaster and digitally ask for. if he is still lying dead in front of his computer that would be morbidly HIGH-larious. i’m bringing vowel mispronounciation baaaaaaaaaaaaack.

  2. we just got back from valley SCARE. it was fucking cold. they had like 5 fucking haunted houses and that was the main attraction. at fright fest at six flags you have to pay extra for the haunted house and it’s lame. but six flags seemed to more effectively use it’s walking around talent. at this one it was just sorta like, oh, there is a dude in make-up… they weren’t really commanding any attention at all or selling their spectacle or whatever. then around 10 some bitch gave me attitude… there were 2 registers and she was free but she was looking right at me… so i’m all like… uh… then quick glance at the beer, “you guys still serving?” then this bitch is all “yeah” like i’m the idiot. duh. well fucking let me know bitch. i’m standing here in line wondering if i should just wait for this other bitch and you’re all trying to hold ME down? no way. “give me 4 miller lites”. “we stopped serving beer at 9”. bitch. now i’m posting this on whazzmaster. i ask if you’re still serving, you give me attitude, then you tell me yes, then i order then you fucking tell me no? NUH UH. now you get the sickness. THEY CALL ME HOV.

  3. everyone else who worked there was fucking money. the guy who ran the mad mouse had a bit of a power trip, but it was more compensation for nervousness than anything else. he looked like a dude that kept pet lambs. i eat lambs. it’s understandable.

  4. bitch wasn’t looking AT me… she was slumped over her register in a daze with her head pointed in my direction. is that someone that wants to sell you something? do you want to buy food from someone that doesn’t want to sell it to you? something must be wrong with the food right? nope, just a bitch. now i didn’t have proper time to check, but i heard from other people in line that she smelled like horse-carriage wheels. it’s just what i heard.

  5. one more odd story… so the first haunted house they give you these 3d glasses. they were the latest generation type that are clear but make certain colors reflect within them altering their depth. they were pretty trippy, then haunted house was splattered everywhere with 4 different colors of paint that all were on VERY different visual planes. so i put these glasses on before going into the 2nd house just playing around. i know they won’t work… i already know how they work… i’m just fucking around for fucking arounds sake. so they send people in groups, and there were 4 people ready to go, then this oldish lady in front of us alone and me and rach-o. it’s sorta weird to be an oldish lady and going through a haunted house by yourself. so right off the bat, something is off. so i’m paying attention to figure it out. now the first lady we meet sees i have my glasses on and valleyscare management already thought of this problem and commanded a solution: tell the park patrons in a scary voice (i mean she did have a gunshot drawn on her head… she couldn’t just say “take those off” and break character… they thought of that) so they came up with “thoooooooosssse will OOOOOOOONLY help you walk into WALLS!”, and of course i’m doing this just to be silly anyways, so i respond instantly with something like “thats what i came here for”. then like 2 other people told me the same thing, after which i responded with something different and all of them were completely stumped and scared and afraid to break character. management did not anticipate a response. they think people are scared of walls and the threat of walking into them is enough. so this lady…… another odd thing is when you walk in they make a point “don’t touch the people, they will get very very close to you, but they won’t touch you. don’t touch them” understandable, but totally lame. that is like telling those pledges they are just jumping on doritos. jesus christ, let me through your fun house without holding my damn hand. so there is this one room of 100s we go through with this giant coffin with a body inside and it looks gruesome, but so has everything so far, and it’s usually a real person and they jump up and scare you. so the people in front of this lady get a little ways ahead of her, and we’re a little behind, so we walk into this room right as this weird older lady was leaning over to touch the face of the girl in the coffin! she touches it all like “ARE YOU REAL?!?!? DUH DUH DUH DERRRRRRRRRR” and the chick pops up PISSSSSSSSSED totally out of character and snaps on her “MA’AM you CANT touch us!” and the lady scurrys ahead and we don’t see her again. totally weird. i tried to give the girl in the coffin a “really though, you look really scary… she totally blew it for us… keep doing a good job! don’t let her get to you” look as we walked by, but she gave me the “this happens all fucking day” look right back. oh, theme park employees. life is so ROUGH.

  6. do you even understand how hard it is to give a “really though, you look really scary… she totally blew it for us… keep doing a good job! don’t let her get to you” look?!?! try it. $10 says you can’t.

  7. if they had consulted me, i would have told them the obvious response to a patron wearing the $1 3d glasses outside of 3d glasses specified zones is, “remove those spectacles or i will consume you”. that would have been awesome. look, they don’t want you wearing them. wait? did you just threaten me. wait… consume me? that means he is going to eat me, right? nah… he’s bullshittin… wait, well, he is in costume, i should have known that… HAHAHAHA, that’s good. ok buddy, see, i’m taking them off… PLEASE hahaahaha PLEASE don’t consume me. ahahahha, hunny did you see how i said “PLEASE don’t consume me”.. hahahaha. it gives the idiots a good time and doesn’t piss off the geniuses who like to clown. stop letting the insurance companies dictate how you run your parks. its fucking bullshit.

  8. around every fucking corner of the building i waited in line to enter someone will jump from around the corner with a chainsaw. I KNOW THIS. and somehow walking into a wall, or the risk of it, is supposed to convince me to do anything? i mean if you’re prioritizing risk analysis between walking into a wall and walking into a chainsaw… are they even close? why would you say that? it’s the stupidest fucking shit you could have said. and then you had 3 different people say it to me. fucking dolts.

  9. i think they think they are being clever saying “those will help you walk into walls” because WHY WOULD YOU WANT HELP DOING THAT?! oh wait… really… WHY? that is dumb. fuck them, i’m wearing them…………. “those will only help you walk into walls”………. awesome… ok…………. “those will only help you walk into walls”….. you know what. FUCK ALL OF YOU.

  10. i never would have known that valleyfair management dictated that approach unless i refused their passive suggestions. MESSAGE!

  11. yo scientist you big pussy. i think you need to try the ‘strikeout’ and stop being such a gurl. in case your lame ass doesn’t know, it is a hit o’ weed & before you exhale you pound a beer and do a shot. i did it last nite. if you don’t do it, i will not respect you whatsoever. u’ve already lost all my respect, so why don’t u try to earn some back. video it & post, bitch.

  12. that is how i drink every beer, so it won’t be a problem. you can check the video at maddpower.com after the launch party on new years.

  13. maybe it’s just my personal steeze, but i like to let a big burp at the end too and scream out POWWWWWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!11

  14. i want to join the wu tang clan as The New Dirty Bastard. i will do my best to emulate his spirit.

  15. this lurkerlert has them coming in DROVES! what is a drove? is like a grove row? man, they comin.

  16. losing the good doctor’s respect can TERMINATE you. it can bring on the sickness. this is true. only problem is…. i am HOV. i AM the cure. HOLLLLLLLLLLLLARIT

  17. but the computer CAUSED the problem with the cords…. imagine the problems we can EXPECT from this NEW invention! BAR-B-Q.

  18. just playin, that thing is cool. right now behind my desk i have 6 of those sticky hook type things laid out the same way, and it works great. i don’t need the container over it all because it’s up against a wall, but i’ll agree this is the smartest solution to the problem of having to run multiple cords to multiple things that use cords… if only the wireless spectrum didn’t contribute so much interference to highly sensitive components. SAY LA VEE! FUCKING SAY IT OR I WILL CONSUME YOU!

  19. so i’m trying to make the content scientist madd again. hopefully he can do the ‘strikeout’ & become disgruntled.

  20. strikeout is a joke. doesn’t even matter. 4 at bats isn’t even a career day. HOLLLLLLLLLLLARIT

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