89 thoughts on “We Won

  1. ZING! you know i still haven’t gotten a single word from al franken… i seriously wanted to work with him as a bridge to those who currently might not like him for reasons i could justify. also, i will mail feces to his opposition. i can’t start these operations without at least DENIAL of support which of course i would understand as your full blessing. i get it. al?

  2. al franken’s proper response to this public notice will be left as an exercise for the lurker. post your answers when you have them. they are due NOW!

  3. lurkers… just post as al franken… it doesn’t matter… then you can still be lurkers and still contribute. can you at least do that? we’ll see.

  4. also, you can pretend that you are david cross encouraging other people to pretend they are al franken pretending to respond to the entire idea of all this happening. lurkers… i don’t get it…. why? lurk lurk lurk. lurk lurk lurk.

  5. So for a while I was keeping a journal that I wrote in whenever I was on a plane. Here is an entry, verbatim, from Thursday, April 21st, 2005:

    Flight from Denver to MKE, had seat 1D, aisle seat opposite the boarding door. Seated next to an ancient couple who ignored me for the duration of the flight. Wife was doing a crossword and asked the husband what a “web address” was for a 3 letter word across. I almost gave her the answer (“url”) but the husband authoritatively said, “ECM”. I still have no idea what that means.

  6. I also wrote about a dream in the journal, it’s short, but funny:

    Last dream of the night was where GMC, myself, Blaine, and wwhazz were robbing a McD’s that ran drugs through it. Blaine was the wheelman. Interesting.

  7. Also, there was apparently a time when we used the phrase “This is a Jazze Pha production.” to mean “Let’s get the fuck out of this place.” I totally think we should bring that back.

  8. he really spells it jazze pha? i didn’t even know what the christ you were talking about for 30 seconds…. JP, spell that shit jazzy fae. don’t be a dick. also, my productions are better than yours.

  9. when your name is phalon, you can’t just drop the lon and still say “FAY”. you gotta trip up the vowel, homie. phaaa. or else you ain’t even trying.

  10. ktk, how do you juggle the jazze pha job and the child? does the child like jazze pha? does that ever become an issue between you two?

  11. as OBVIOUS as an obviousity on tuesday john kerry came back with “i was a highly intelligent soldier, suggesting that i was insulting our current soldiers i consider itself to be an insult”. DUH. but why didn’t you say this first? you first response was that it was a joke, probably getting a read on the audience if they really understand joke news outlets like comedy central, or if they just laugh at anything they are told is a joke. turns out he isn’t funny. damn, he must be angry about that… nope, see, he just said he considers that every single person in america is insulting him right now, and he isn’t doing anything about it. and somehow he is going to spin this into a positive…. hmmmm…. I KNOW! oh wait, you’re an idiot. seriously though, NICE. HAIR.

  12. america, why are you wasting your time insulting the things i say… you should be spending your time implementing the things i think! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!/!?!?! do you WANT to end up in iraq?! and get STUCK there?! I’LL FUCKING DO IT! I’M JOHN FUCKING KERRY YOU ASSHOLES. I PART MY HAIR!

  13. look, THAT IS IT. THAT IS IT. john kerry. look. al franken, you already lurk and johnny probably shows up at some of your $500/head dinners because you ran out of money because everything you’ve ever done has been highly intelligent but a complete financial fart, so here is the plan. john kerry says “I’M JOHN FUCKING KERRY, AND I’M RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES”. there obviously must be a lead up and he MUST sell it. there is only 1 correct way to say this sentence. if he gets it wrong, it is career suicide. if he gets it right, he can’t lose. if he does this, i totally understand this meaningless whirwind he has created. if he doesn’t, he is the biggest pussy in washington.

  14. it’s wednesday and neither pick is in for survival football. they are both feeling each other out. INTENSE!

  15. with all this focus on federal level petty posturing, i almost forgot that real things were really happening on a local level! good thing i’m not dumb.

  16. BG, next season if you want your own website where you will sell your suicide pick for the week for a subscription fee, i can do that. lets get rich! WHY NOT?!

  17. the shit talking on live at the bike is awesome… someone was talking shit to someone else, then corporation mike says “stop pooping out of your mouth”. HAHAHAH OWNED!

  18. i just killed your dad. haha. I GOT MOTHERFUCKIN ARROWS EVERYWHERE!@#^ it’s a bluegill feast tonight!#^@$#^#$&^

  19. oh man. 6 left in ploiter multi. i’m in 2nd. top boat on the turn vs chips leader. all in. he rivers royal flush. )@(^7@)$#^& bah.

  20. old dude on plane was probably army vet. ECM = electronic counter measure = the only thing an old army vet would know about electronics in the modern world like what he perceives the internet to be.

  21. finny didn’t dress up for halloween, though i did see a fisherman’s costume on sale at target that i *almost* bought. i love that spider pug. madd, did you go as al franken? were you SNL era franken or newer, wiser, more outwardly political franken?

  22. self selected lawyer types aceing the LSAT and leaving dummies like me in the dust that’s whats wrong skeez! hey moneypenny whats gonna happen on election day? are we gonna win or what? wait, i guess he’s probably on the road right? well… madd? hmmm what’s up whazzmaster, how about that time change? darker huh.

  23. rumthumbs, i’m not convinced he is more outwardly political now… i just think he realized his old approach was flying over the heads of his audience, so he changed his game. he certainly is newer… the concept of newnest is sort of bullshit… as things age and change and evolve older, they become new old things, and then newer old things. so whatever. wiser is another toss up… was he wiser before and had to dumb it down to THIS IS WHAT IM SAYING, so is he REALLY wiser now, or only wiser in HOW he is wise? i’ve seen like a trillion interviews he’s done lately and i’m not overly impressed, but he is doing nothing wrong and always keeping control of the conversation. he doesn’t act like he wants it or needs it. i haven’t figured out if that is brilliant or retarded yet. i’m certainly not hating on the guy… he is one of the bright ones.

  24. cal, do you think those people selected themselves to be lawyers just to punk out dummies like you from getting a job, or did dummies like you allow the political process to spiral out of control and make the business of exploiting the law a very lucrative one that naturally attracts those who can do anything who are looking to be rich? cal, did you want to be rich? what were you going to do with a law degree? tell me what i can’t do? i own a gun. me and you, cal, it’s private business time. hollar at me. we’ll develop a product that makes people dumber so we can rise above them. just like chef boyardee did.

  25. smart people looking to harnass the power of the law for personal gain are the most deadly terrorists this country faces. i’m looking at you amy klobusha. BUSH. right in your name… sorry honey, i know NOTHING of your policy, but that shit doesn’t fly anymore. NO MORE BUSH. LIKE. IT. FUCKING. MATTERS. cal, why didn’t you ask me any questions when you were studying for the LSAT? didn’t think i knew them? didn’t think i would really help? didn’t want to be helped? didn’t want to be helped by me? all part of a plan to fail all along? i say take it again. and next time get a 169. go to law school, and make chef boyardee fucking PAY. if you don’t stop him, no one will.

  26. cal, i swear to god. you come between me and those little meatballs and i will fucking END you.

  27. why oh why doesn’t al franken want to spend an evening with me discussing his future? i can’t figure it out. dude rocks hater blockers i guess.

Comments are closed.