Ho, Ho, Ho

Another year passes here at the whazzmaster.com world headquarters and the elves are a bit misty-eyed.  Now, perhaps it’s the yuletide joy or perchance it’s the brandy-to-bitters ratio in the Old Fashioned’s that ol’ whazzmaster is drinking, but none of that really, truly matters.  In the grand scheme of things.  Ho, ho, ho!

The terrific news this Xmas is the veritable windfall the Apples to Apples Corporation has stumbled upon.  Spacebee’s brother-in-law got me the game, I got my parents the game, and then my sister got me the game.  Ho, ho, ho!  A very Apples-to-Apples Xmas!

Additionally, we here at Whazzmaster Central have decided (decreeeeeed) that henceforth the Moneypenny Family will operate on a “PULL a NAME outtuva HAT” basis.  This “buy a gift of for everyone in the wetsern heimsphere” thing isn’t working out, so at Xmas Eve Dinner the chil’lens rammed through a bill (with several amendments) that stipulates that starting next Thanksgiving, names will be pulled from hats. One name, per person. Say lah vee.

Last night was the cat’s pajamas; I went out in Racilla with Arlo, Jamey, Joel, and my Birthday Sister (related to Disco Sis) along with Sundry Ashely Friends.  The night was notable most for the very, very chillington “the third” game of Spades we played down at Waves as well as the sociopathic homosexual bartender who basically threatened to anally rape me if I didn’t vacate his bar at the proscribed time (2:30am).   To be clear, everything was Chillington the Third until the Anal Threat.  At that point the evening devolved quickly and was no longer great or “chill”.
What did I get for XMAS? A sweatshirt, some gift cards, a new coffee cup, a pizza pan (with the Moneypenny Pizza Recipe attached!), socks, cuff links, new pre-shave oil and after shave balm, etc.  Good haul.  I’ll be heading back up to Madison tomorrow evening (Xmas Day) so that I’ll be bright-eyed and bushy tailed for Tuesday Morning Work Week.  I’ll be kickin in all week, then on Saturday I fly to Cleveland for my cousin’s New Year’s Wedding. Spacebee’s coming with.  Heh, wait’ll she gets a load of my dad’s side o’ the family. It’s gonna be fun.

48 thoughts on “Ho, Ho, Ho

  1. i was supposed to go to cleveland for new years too. weird. i, however, clicked the unsubscribe button and opted out.

    i propose this solution for christmas gifting once there are less than 3 children under the age of 13 involved: you buy only yourself a gift for no more than 1.1% of your after tax income. then you wrap it. then you open it in front of everyone. WOW! JUST WHAT I WANTED! either that or just buy everyone mur.

  2. whazzman, we had a similar meeting at our family xmas about reducing gift giving, though came up with some different results. my mom is one of 7 and 6/7 have a spouse and kiddos so we have been doing the name draw for years since our family practically needs to rent a community room to have xmas. we are retiring that to choose one charity for the kids and one for the adults and make someone else’s xmas merry. when your family tree has out of control branches i suggest this route!

  3. Well, er, I wasn’t implying that the crazy Christians made it into what it is today, but according to The Media, The Christians control Xmas now. They screech when it isn’t praised lavishly enough, and they moan lasciviously when store clerks utter a “Merry Chrsitmas” instead of “Happy Holidays”. I expect that they’ll want a say in anything that leaves the perception of Tiny Infant Jesus the least bit diminished in their eyes, and as we all know American Shopping Power = Moral Righteousness. Fuck it, I’m pushing my brother’s Cavalier into Lake Michigan for Xmas.

  4. “Christians” is a meaningless grouping on any topic other than “is christ the lord?”.

    black people didn’t ruin the disco.

  5. NEWS: i’m moving to phoenix in a week or 2.

    brought to you by ambien, JG Wentworth, and jello pudding.

  6. twice tonight at full tilt i flopped the nut straight, capped the turn and was beat by runner runner flush. that site is rigged. guaranteed.

  7. You must be out of your fuckin gourd if you think I’m installing RealPlayer on my computer. Thing is, I still want it to work.

  8. Merry Christmas, Whazzers.

    We’re back after a whirlwind trip around the state. Hadley was a very cute Christmas bambino. She was very overstimulted and she slept until 8:10 this morning. Woo hoo!!!!!

  9. yeah, real player is ass. they used to included spyware in their product, and actively made lots of shit difficult to stop it from doing, and almost impossible to find the free version of their software and shit like that. recently most of that has gone away, but it’s still shit. mpeg4 is a quality codec. you can stream it, it looks good and the file size is small. all real player adds is content protection for distributors, but it isn’t real protection… it’s like the lock on your front door… if i kick it hard enough it’s still falling in, so why does everyone waste so much god damn time on locks? because they are dumb. if you don’t want real player but you want to watch realmedia encoded/encrypted whatever content, then you can use the “real alternative” codec with media player.

    linkified for your ease

  10. son of a bitch. i just posted how you can avoid installing real player and still see the shit. but it got flagged as spam.

    has that stupid filter ever once caught REAL spam?

  11. why is the federal government in charge of interstate transportation, but not in charge of interstate communication transportation?

    why are they encouraging AT&T to aquire SBC and bellsouth backstepping all the anti-monopoly work in the 70s?

    i swear to christ every policy maker in this country is a complete moron. keep taking your bribes assholes. where are you going to spend that money when no one is willing to provide you with anything in exchange for it? and the value of everything goes to 0. genius. way to get yours assholes. enjoy it. corrupt fuckers.


  12. i think the blatant commercialization of enemy tactics in war time crosses a moral line.

    are soldiers being killed? DUH. are they being killed by bullets? DUH. are those bullets coming from guns? DUH. are those guns being fired by humans? probably. do those humans wish the same fate for themselves as their enemies? unclear. does their hiding imply they probably don’t? yes. are tactics of people hiding and shooting people anything new that the american public can learn something NEW about, and come up with NEW counter-strategies? no. this is pure fluff for commercial gain. and, at what ultimate expense? american life.

    nothing could be more american. USA USA USA! lets fucking exploit ourselves and be rich! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. 28 room houses for everyone!

  13. dang it… meant to link here on that first probably about humans shooting the guns.

    hope the programmer of that sentry bot didn’t put a decimal point in the wrong place. or perhaps biff some other mundane detail.

  14. in my 28 room house, i’m going to have a sitting room, a leaning room, and a slouching room. also, a disco.

  15. Hey whazzers: I do apologize, but I’ll be incommunicado until Monday evening due to Weddings of Mass Destructino-Related Activities. On the other hand, I saw The Good Shepard at the Cinema this evening and it was Pretty Good. Spacebee was confused. So was I, but I still enjoyed it.

  16. if anyone is in the market for an aftermarket navigation system, the garmin nuvi 350 gets my solid recommendation. the hardware, software, and overall functionality are all highly thought out and work great. the 700 meg internal hard drive, or memory card slot can even be used as an mp3 player… and unnecessary feature that just works, and hey, why not. multiple voices guide your way. i like jill… whats up girl? HOLLA. retail is around $500. it is worth it, a year or 2 ago a model like this would get $1500+, so you might want to wait it out a bit, but if this is anything below $300, you are clinically stupid not to buy one. garmin paid me $3000 to tell you this.

  17. make it $50. they should just include this with the thing and start marketing it as an mp3/audiobook/gps/currency converter/language translator. it has built in text to speech, so you can even translate stuff in local voices pronounced with the correct part-of-speech inflections. i’m very impressed. include that card and get a good marketing team and this thing can’t lose. i would invest in garmin although that is not financial advice. once they figure out what they have an how to sell it, they are going to B.L.O double YOU up.

  18. damn, shit also has optional antennae to pick up those radio traffic signals the news channels use to make the graphs about where traffic is backed up, and it will recommend a better route. it really does everything you could expect it to if you have insanely high expectations, or a great imagination. now i just want a camera in the back of the thing that can analyze the road and control the car. and a machine gun.

  19. stock is at an all time, and with the same battery issues as the ipod (nonreplaceable), in 2-3 years when i expect new sales to be steady, replacement sales will pump this beast up same as APPL. they are poising themselves to rule the industry. but what the fuck do i know.

  20. i’m going to estimate an 85% ROI over 25 months. STRONG BUY. look at the AAPL chart from midway through 2004 to present. notice how the front end is similar to garmin? garmin is going to spike to 84, split, and then hit 84 again 25 months from now. i know everything.

  21. Happy New Year’s Eve! I’m ringing in the new year in style, aka at work. Hope somebody out in whazzmaster land is having fun tonight.

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