A New Leaf

Hey all you whazzers out there: do the fuckin’ tango. Cuz it’s a new year and I am legally single; the divorce was set to automatically finalize at midnight on January 1. Hurray!

Where did you spend New Year’s? On the beach? In the can? In your cups? Spacebee and I had a damned good time in southeastern Ohio at my cousin’s wedding reception. We honked our honkers at midnight and then drank some more. We watched the Badgers embarrass themselves in the second half against Arkansas and still, somehow, emerge victorious. Finally we had an epic air adventure that took us through Milwaukee (World’s Meanest Airport Bartenders) and got us home at the late witching hour of eleven pee-em.

Today is pick-up-the-pieces day. Sadly, AWB wasn’t available, but I met my parents at El Pine Cone en Creeko del Johnson to get my truck back from them. They had taken it over the weekend to drive the caravan of various Moneypennys, future Moneypennys, and boyfriends to the scene of the crime. Pine Cone was good as always, and spacebee had never enjoyed their World Class Everything, so that was fun. It’s also Back-To-Work Day nationwide, as all those schmoes who got their one night a year of partying out of the way go to work and tell everyone how “totally drunk” they got. Motherfucker, I live in Madison now; drink 5 times a week and talk to me in a year.

Where’s maddddddddddddddddddddd? Phoenix already? Where should I mail your fucking present?

Wait… I just checked maddpower.com and all I see is:

Welcome to the Web Site of www.maddpower.com

This page is a place holder for the home page of your own web site.

Where the fuck is maddpower.com? I thought it was dropping in 2007. It’s 2007. Where is maddpower.com? Arrested? Jail? Phoenix?

59 thoughts on “A New Leaf

  1. Oh Whazzmaster.com, why have I ignored you for so many days? I come back and find the most lively discussion of pine cone breakfast. You went on and lived your life without me. I am so ashamed.

  2. I ate at a sonic once. It was Pretty Damn Gross.

    The cone’s secret to hashbrowns was to peel the potatoes and boil them whole until they are cooked about halfway. If you cut one open you can tell what’s cooked and what’s not. Then you have to let them cool down completely, and then grate them. Then fry them in maybe a whole stick of butter.

    Partial cooking and letting them cool down is the most important part to get the proper texture. When you worked third shift, you had to wait until after the bar rush to grate them. Otherwise they were too hot and turned into mashed potatoes. Same problem with overcooking.

    Also, the only proper way to cook any sausage is in a deep fryer. And I just remembered one more monstrosity from the menu: Chicken Eggs Benedict.

  3. i’ve never eaten at Sonic. i have eaten at the pine cone. i don’t remember what i had. of course i’ll be back for sketchfest, duh. Chicken Eggs Benedict = yuck.

  4. I’ve often wanted to eat at a sonic, because, like many of you said, their commercials make me drool. It all looks so damn yummy. I’ve only seen one sonic restaurant in person, and it was somewhere in Arizona. I couldn’t even tell you for sure if it was in Phoenix, or some suburb of Phoenix. I wanted to stop, but Judd said NO. Based on o’neil’s previous comment, maybe it’s a good thing we didn’t stop. Those slushies look so tasty, though…

    In unrelated news, check out jucoja.com for the haps in the Jacobs Fam. Sorry, I can’t do links, so you’ll have to copy and paste (or scroll up to comment #17, by admin, where there’s an actual link to the Jacobs’ site). Check it out, leave a comment or two, start up a blogstorm, if you like…

  5. availability… and personal choice. but i would, try it i mean, you know, sonic, i would try it. just to try.

  6. cal, it’s ok to try things. don’t beat yourself up over it. you might not believe me when i tell you this…. but i would try sonic too.

  7. i’d get a green slush. thats it. can i get a green slush somewhere else? i don’t know. yes? i’m sure sonic didn’t invent the slush or anything… it’s just that i trust them to provide that level of slush quality that only an established advertiser like sonic could provide. is it lime? watermelon? kiwi? a kiwi slush? you just never know. they have like 300 flavors. that is crazy. no restaurant can offer that kind of selection and stay in business. perhaps that is why they never follow through with the business plan and actually build the restaurants. what if jack in the box started selling slushes one day and someone threw a bedsheet with “SONIC” spraypainted on it over the drive through menu…. would business double? triple? fuck oprah.

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