The Thick of It

I’m about 2/3 through Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs and I can see why Arlo recommended it. Some of things Klosterman talks about are interesting, some I take issue with, but most seem like the type of ravings that a particularly astute fellow would bellow after 10 bong hits and an hour of watching Double Dare on the Games and Sports Network at two in the morning. Uh, in Pacifica. I’m certainly not coming out of this reading a devout follower of the Church of Chuck, but I’d love to get drunk and chat about it with someone.

I apparently exist in a social vacuum wherein no one will lay claim to my allegiance. Traditional media insists that “Generation X” is defined as anyone born between 1965 and 1977. On the other side of the fence, (and believe me, this varies more and is somewhat less specific) I’ve seen the media define Generation Y (or “What Came Next,” or any of the other banal shit they use to define generations these days) as anyone born between 1980 and 2000. I just checked Wikipedia, however, and it defines Y as being born between 1978 and 1999. Whatever; the point is I was born in 1978. The Point Is that I’m either the youngest Gen Xer or the Grandaddy of the Gen Yers (I mean, christ, I’m sharing that classification with some 6 year old shit right now, and I’m 28).

All in all, who cares what fucking generation I fall into? Some do, I shouldn’t, but I make a note of it just because Klosterman’s book is about all the popular culture Gen Xers, people who fall into that age range, experienced and it is the shit I grew up in. Sugary cereal, fucking Star Wars and Saved by the Bell. The major difference, and perhaps the reason I shouldn’t be considered part of Gen X is that while I experienced all the same stuff, it was at a vastly different level of perception. These kids were 15 years old in 1985, I was 7. It’s funny that Klosterman relates that Empire Strikes Back was the first movie he attended in a theater, it was my first movie-going experience as well, but being 3 I don’t remember much beyond being vaguely scared of Dagobah and wanting to own Yoda as a pet.

The other place we part ways is Music; I feel comfortable saying that I didn’t really listen to music in any way until I was a freshman in high school and I got my first CD player. My first CD ever: Weird Al. My second CD ever: Pearl Jam Vs. That puts me so out of the realm of musical consciousness that I’m almost embarrassed to admit it, but there you go. Everything I know today about 80s music (and boy oh boy it still ain’t much) I’ve learned in the last 5 years.

I think I’m a weirdo, though. My memory is horrible (bordering on tragic, which borders on having some sort of early Alzheimer’s) and I don’t remember things well at all. Talk to me about something that happened 6 months ago; you’ll see. In the end, I’ll probably need whazzmaster.com just to chronicle my life for me. “What? I knew a guy called ‘the madd scientist’? What?”

90 thoughts on “The Thick of It

  1. cal, if you look at me and see a young girl, you have more trying issues than waiting for my response.

    pre just died in the car crash. WHOOOOOOOOPS!

  2. i just caught the end of it and it seems like it went down like that. as expected o’harrasser claimed to be an act and colbert posed the question “then what am i?!” end of show. dumb dumb dumb. politics reduces potential to zero.

  3. I want Doyle and the whole Full Tilt gang pu tin jail for life. FOR LIFE. Crooks. POKER IS AGAINST THE LAW. LOCK THEM UP.

  4. Play with the pros.

    Shuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure Full Tilt. One question though: where are they? The place is empty. Not a single pro on-line on friday night. Know somehting that you’re not sharing, assholes?

  5. now now, scientist, your pal al franken really, really scathingly hates o’reilly, and, of course, likes political comedians so you better play the game here if you want to run that campaign like we plotted out one night in the pub…

  6. hey rumthumbs.

    dude you’re hunting squid??? why? squid are the philosophers of the sea! poor squid. hey man if you ever get through to the k-cars ask them how it felt to be dominated by good ol’ cal in fantasy football. did it feel good? did he love it? i figured his team would lie down when they faced me. actually twice, twice i dominated his bunch o’ losers. i am great. man, that was great. to completely dominate like that. just play and win, that’s my style.

  7. I dont want to hunt them. I just want to watch. Really, I will be rooting for the squid. I want some drunk tourist to fall in and get it.

  8. Holy madd batman! Belated bday to you Sign-Tist! Thanks for rappin’ at me like Anchower. It has been a while. I am getting into things with the story, and shall take your advice. Sadly, I may have to change my name to Domesticwhazz. My girlfriend finally got the dog she has always wanted. It is a West Highland White Terrior. er-terror! Lily is her name, and although I was against it, she is so damn cute! She never sleeps, especially at night. Domesticwhazz is born.

    W-Whazz-could you post a few of the titles of those books you got when Parker was to small to get on a futon?

    I am now heading out to Rosin Christmas(extended family is too big, with too much going on until now), so I shall see everyone Monday!

  9. I think there’s a lyric in the Ewhazz sitcom theme song about “Christmas in January”.

    There’s also some trombone.

  10. Cal,

    We don’t need you posting here late at night after you’ve had a glass of pino noir. Remember how pissed LT was after the Chargers lost last week? Watchit, buddy.

  11. Ewhaz:

    Puppies for Dummies is your best bet. Not that you’re a dummy or anything. It just gives you cliff note-style summary from other books and thats all you need. TRAIN THAT PUUPY NOW. Cuz you’re livign with it for the next 10 plus years (unless it gets hit by a car).

    Think Wrigly vs Parker.

  12. yeah i was just beserek last night. really really sorry kcat, your team was a formidible opponent. not the losers i made them out to be. that’s impressive that you can train dogs. you’re like the dog whisperer. ever watch that? he’s supposed to be very cool.

  13. who was (is?) wrigley? let’s hear some stories about what wrigley ate or chewed or ruined. any of you other doggie owners can jump in here…

    so what’s the over/under on hlliary? she’s got my vote. i worry that she won’t win though… remember that marketing guy “dan” at hojo? was that his name? yeah, dan. anyway we were passing the time in the Plaza Lounge one day watching the news, and hillary came on and dude sort of went off. that guy DID NOT like hillary. it was weird. but i think she has that effect on some people, they feel threatened by her. they say she “alienates” people. i disagree with them but i think there are more of them than there are of me so…

    what do you think whazzmaster?

  14. If cal says she has my vote, she has my vote. But please help me set up absentee ballot so I don’t have to get out there and mix with the Hoi polloi.

    Wrigley was our friend Danny’s dog. He was a Portuguese Terrier, and even Lynn, lover of all animals, hated this beast.

    Some highlights:

    Once Wrigs got out of his cage and ate an entire bottle of pain medication (he had recently lost his nutz), automobile touch-up paint, a cartridge of disposable razors, and part of a blanket. Then he spun around in circles sending chains of shit from his ass like a shit-sprinkler all over the walls. He even got some of the shit on the ceiling. Then he ate a bunch of the shit and puddled this new soupy twice-baked shit all over the bed.

    Once some people were looking at the apartment and their little girl crawled into his cage. He bit her and had to spend a week in Chicago Dog jail while they waited for rabies tests to come back. The dog in the cage next to his was a Rottweiler on death row fro biting off a little girls arm. Wrigs was cleared of all charges.

    The dog was kind of funny put really hard to live with. He partied with parker sometimes but mostly parker hated him because he was too nutty.

  15. Part of dog training is knowing what kind of dog you have. So get a book on your breed. Yes, Parker is easy to deal with, but he is a pug and pugs can only get into so much trouble. They have shallow mouths, they can’t jump real high or really wreck too much.

    Sometimes I got to sleep with him at midnight and he sleeps with me until 9:00 am when belly gets home. Then he sleeps with her from 9:00- 3:00 pm for a total of 15 hours without eating, drinking or going to the bathroom. Also, he only needs to be walked for 1/2 hour or so and he’s cashed.

    So yeah, he’s well trained, but he’s an easy breed.

  16. the first squid i catch i’m going to beer batter, but if i get a second, i’m making CALimari.

  17. ewaz,

    dude, we totally have matching dogs! phineas is a westie too. i agree with the knowing your breed thing and the first thing i’ll tell you about knowing westies is…skin allergies. god bless you if your lily doesn’t have them because wowza, we’ve been dealing with a lot for phineas. ie he is wearing a cone right now so that he doesn’t chew his feet.

    we’ll have to meet up at a dog park or something, no? also, he’s in school right now at a great place so we’ll put in a recommendation for lily. you know, schools these days are so competitive with their SAT and ACT and LSAT requirements–dogs barely stand a chance!

  18. Happy birthday Wirkus!

    Phineas is sort of trained. He like to stare out the window a lot. And he usually listens when we tell him to stop doing something. And he’s good with his commands, but we’re still working on the full repitoire. Also,he’s on steriods right now for his skin problem, so I’m hoping he’ll bulk up a bit since he’s on the small side.

  19. it is very likely that rach-o did not make the above post.

    is there anything worth while to do in phoenix? this town is EXTRAVEGANTLY boring.

  20. u’re closest to old towne scottsdale & tempe (mill ave). they have a fair amount of drinking/bars/clubs. tempe is more the college/asu scene. bar time is 2am. az is kewl cuz u can wear shorts to clubs. not that gay dress code shit like in san ho.

    if u want to get to scottsdale take camelback east to about scottsdale road. bang a right to go south a mile or 2. there are some cheap-o bars sprinkled in thurr too as well as margarita places.

    if u want a tasty burger & beer after (or before) midnite, go to delux on 32nd & camelback. north side.

    too bad rach-o didn’t say that 🙁

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