Today Was A Bad Day

Some of the reasons I can disclose to you, and some I can’t, but today was an extraordinarily bad day.  It started with a doctor’s appointment in New Glarus.  I print out directions which are fairly straightforward: Uh Oh! A fire truck is blocking southbound access to Hwy 151! I’m supposed to take that road!  So I spend an hour wandering the backroads of southwestern Dane County before I find my way back onto the correct route.  Holy shit I know nothing of Wisconsin south of County PD.

The doctor’s appointment includes some unexpected surprises including a tetnus shot and a procedure that men get once they reach a certain age. Hurray.

Next up we hit the gym: parking lot full! Park out on Mifflin you jerk!  Thanks, Cap Fitness.  So I park on Mifflin and as soon as I pull to the curb I realize I’m well and truly fucked.  I’m downhill, and I’m too close to the car ahead of me to just pull out again.  I can’t reverse because I’m sitting on 6 inches of ice because no plows have been on this street because none of these assholes ever move their cars.  I floor it in reverse and burn up my back tires without moving an inch.  After I take my foot off the gas my cars rolls forward until I’m 1 inch (no lie) from the back of the car in front of me.  After we get out of the gym the situation has improved tremendously!  Some jerk in a green VW Bug has parked right up behind me, so even if I could floor it out of there in reverse, that way is now blocked.  I storm around and have a temper tantrum for awhile, and spacebee is wonderful in letting me rage at an inanimate object for 20 minutes. We finally abandon the car with a note for the police (it’s a 2 hour parking zone) that says we can’t get the fucking thing out and walk to rumthumb’s place.  She graciously gives us a ride to spacebee’s so we can acquire a car, and then it’s back to my house.

Afternoon now: my tetnus shot has made me sick! Hurray!  Also, there’s a Super Important Meeting at work that I’m supposed to give status at but wasn’t invited to!  Hurray!  And now I’m sitting in this Very Important Meeting and it seems like my attendance in the least important thing here.
I’m unsure how I’ll ever get my car back.  A rational discussion of options (in the shower) did not turn up anything besides “hope the jerk in front of us drives away.”   *sigh*

even saw the lights of the goodyear blimp/and it read “moneypenny is fucked”

179 thoughts on “Today Was A Bad Day

  1. 1) cal, did i read you correctly that you ate a donut? what?

    2) maddd, do move back to MN as your man al announced his canidacy for the sentate.

  2. check out the look on the kids face in picture 10… then call cal over, give him a donut, put on an eminem cd and listen to “my dad’s gone crazy”.

  3. i have noticed that stuart saves his family has been on hbo an awful lot lately… i’m not sure what this says about the schedulers over there… are they supporting him or boobie trapping him with the pinchers of power? i have been following it though, he announced a while ago. if i had complete control of the world, and i had to pick an early 90s SNL member to battle norm coleman, i would take norm macdonald for the gimmicky norm vs norm election. people love that shit.

  4. Yo madd,

    If you guys don’t like your travel company let us know. We just found out that belly’s does whatever it is that rach-o does. They’ve been pretty good to us and we’d get like 5 hundo which we could use to buy a TJ time share. Holllarit!

  5. yes a donut. it was really good! i was there and just ordered whatever donut– like i gestured vaguely toward the display trays filled with the chocolate donuts and said “ummm a chocolate one” and as fate would have it the woman behind the Happy Donuts counter picked one out and said “this chocolate crumble?” and i said yeah, that one. NOW i know to ALWAYS order the “chocolate crumble” because it was that good. But unfortunately as of today I’m on a health kick. Grandma’s Marathon 18 weeks from Saturday and can’t be havin no more junk food. on the reals.

    Oh yeah about that slide show! i would like to see more slide shows in place of video. i notice in slide 6 of 16:

    ‘We were literally stunned when this was going down,’ said his dad, Dan Nasenbeny.

    Why not just say “we were stunned”? You were not literally stunned dude. Watch now, you’ll hear it all the time. Literally literally literally. everybody uses literally like crazy people! Like crazy people- literally! It’s gone so far that even when it’s used correctly it’s lousy. And maybe that’s ok. But you know, avoid clichés whenever you can. Think when you say things. Duh.

    It’s tough though. look at Dan Nasenbeny. we were literally stunned when this was going down. why speak in clichés? in dan’s defense though it’s tough to talk to them reporters and plus his child was just thrown five, ten feet in the air. literally.

    are you with me DH? being a journalist you must be annoyed too huh. me an you man. 4EVER.

    you know the one I hate the most? “pull an allnighter” everytime I hear “pull an allnighter” I die a little. “Talk to the hand” I enjoy.

    Your friend,

    Cal

  6. Cal, I am literally offended. I often use the word literally and did not realize i was part of a cliche. how about you get bent and eat a chocolate crumble out of grandma’s cooch.

  7. bg, if you would have said GREG’S grandma’s cooch… you might have gone the whole way and killed him.

  8. there we go. also, cal, this logistics of this are very similar to your payphone guys… neteller doesn’t provide any gambling services… so giving them money from the US is legal… and where they are, it’s legal to go to and from gambling sites… so really, no laws were being broke. it’s just an ethics question… which came first, cal or greg… that sort of thing. so that new law basically grants the US full unchecked power over the worlds financial systems. ANYTHING. the FBI can go ANYWHERE now. great law frist. spend that 20 mil wise before someone ganks it.

  9. oh me oh my, here is the site! it even has it’s own theme song! check it out!

    ………..

    [Intro]
    This is why the World Series of Poker
    Is decided over a no limit poker tournament
    Players, pro’s even, can’t handle the pressure of the game
    They consider no limit the only pure game left

    [Chorus: Ghostface Killah]
    We gotta know how to play your cards, have a mean poker face
    And know an ace deuce can take out your pocket broads
    This is no limit hold ’em, you gotta know when to fold ’em
    If you plan on, staying on top
    You can’t lose, what you don’t push into the pot
    You can’t make much either, if you a believer of luck
    Go all in, if you’re feeling your cards, deep in your gut

    [Shawn Wigs]
    It was a late Saturday night, big chips, we had a lotta
    Theodore performed at the Plush Brigatta
    It was an hour in, big chip leader of the game
    Caught pocket jacks and flopped two more of the same
    Looking at quads, waiting for someone to bluff
    So I checked til someone said “I had enough”
    I’m raising a thousand, son I pay to see the river
    Caught an ace and his face, was a straight up giver
    He had three now, must of caught two in the hole
    A full boat, I’m about to sink ship, tell him to fold
    He laughs, raises his fifty g’s, please I need chip count
    The pit boss, swear I flip over, you gon’ flip out
    I’m all in, here to win, I rep Staten Island
    He called it, I showed four jacks, he started wilding

    [Interlude:]
    This son of bitch..
    All night, he set me up, he check, check, he trapped me!

    [Chorus]

    [Shawn Wigs]
    It was a cash game, 100/200 dollar table
    Me and Johnny Mack sitting, God willing and able
    July 23rd and 4th, the lions is out
    It’s the month of the Leo, we gon’ win with no doubt
    Bunch of high rollers, laughing like he know we’re low in the amateurs
    I buy him for the macks, twenty G’s, I’mma damage ya
    Couple of chuckles, broken glasses, all tinted
    I’mma put ya’ll all on tilt, give me a minute
    So I check raise ’em, bluff ’em, ain’t showing my cards
    Two four off two, ya’ll ain’t no superstars
    I should of been at the table, World Series of Poker
    I’m up 80 G’s already, ya’ll a bunch of jokers
    Now they all on tilt, raising, I call ’em all in
    With pocket three’s, for 80 G’s, I’m ready to fall in
    Flop two aces, caught my three on fourth street
    A four hundred thousand dollar pot boy, life’s sweet

    [Chorus]

    [Outro]
    He beat me.. straight up
    Pay him, pay Shawn Wigs his money

    ………..

    awesome

  10. wow… that sucked. but the title was funny… that one was linked to the cuttlefish somehow. what fucking tag could they have in common? whatever.

  11. maybe… i just did some 1-2 ploiter cash game at o’doyle rules room and ran 100 to 370 to 98… drawn like a bell curve with cal sitting on top. online poker is done. i hate it. bill frist killed it. the bible says eye for an eye, doesn’t it? i like the killah reasoning that A2 can beat your QQ and he thinks this is some profound poker logic. flop the quads and check i like… ghostface is a GENIUS! HE TRAPPED ME! YES YES YES i’m playing that stupid freeroll. HOLLLLLLLLLARIT!

  12. this video fucking sells cuttlefish. that will be playing on monitors around cal’s and my store at all times in rotation with other awesome cuttlefish clips…

  13. whatarebirds says that the music ruins the video. The music makes it, dude. And I don’t see cal working very hard on this venture.

  14. Cal, that was a real dick way to order a donut. I wish you woulda got stuck with a shitty one. You lucked out like Killah and his pocket 3’s.

  15. OH! i just popped on because the 1935 classic “call of the wild” is on skinemax in 1 minute! BUCK!

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