Spacebee and I have returned from our long sojurn into the deep, sometimes durrty, South. Florida was wonderful, except that we couldn’t get there on time, couldn’t fly in to the right city, it rained a lot, it was cold the first few days, and our return flight almost got diverted to Memphis (where they make you eat coleslaw on your BBQ sammiches).
On the Plus Side, however, we did enjoy some incredible mini-golf tournaments. The mini-golfing was free at spacebee’s parent’s resort and it wasn’t some jank little course. It was pirate-themed, and I got my picture taken with an incredibly busty she-pirate statue. In any case, most of the time the Tournament Stakes were that the loser had to buy the first round. With 5 people ordering incredibly expensive drinks, it was in your best interests to not lose that tournament. After the tourney we would retire to one of the seven pools for some R&R (and pizza) (and booze). Pictures will be forthcoming.
We also had time to go to the happiest place on earth: Disney’s Animal Kingdom. I agreed to go because I figured, “well, it’s part zoo, so it can’t be all bad.” In fact, except for the brief (refreshing!) rain showers throughout the day it was pretty swell. My disappointment in all things Disney was upheld however, when we went on the Kilimanjaro Safari ride and they couldn’t just leave well enough alone. I was happy seeing all these animals just mixing it up out in a giant field somewhere, but then they contrived some story about ‘catching poachers’. Dude, just show me the animals. I tire of your attempts to make every attraction a heart-pounding adventure thrill ride.
I had a blast one day when spacebee’s brother-in-law and I hit a golf course while the rest of the clamoring hoardes traveled east to the Ocean and Beach. It was kinda sorta expensive, but then we were in the middle of Orlando. We drank more than a 12-pack between us on the course and it was affecting my shit like whoa. I’ve had a beer or two during eighteen, but not seven or eight. Fun though, and in the bar afterwards I had a bloody mary. Then it was off to BW3 for some boneless wings and NIT basketball action (an oxymoron, I know) and even more booze.
Finally, on Friday just spacebee and I went to Typhoon Lagoon, a Disney water park. That was very fun; there was practically no one in the park. Our plane left at 7:30p, so we were only there from 11:30a until about 4p. In that time, however, we were able to run all the way to the top of each water slide and jump right on (sometimes multiple times in a row). It was so fun I didn’t even care that I had to pay $10 for BBQ onna bun for luncho.
We got jerked around a little at the airport but made it safe and sound back to O’Hare (and only an hour late!) We stayed at spacebee’s parent’s house in Sugar Grove for the night, but had to kick it early to get back to Madison cuuuuz…
My parents came up to visit this weekend. First things first: holy moses. They’re on Weight Watchers and look great! My dad’s lost 40 pounds or something! Dude’s skinny now. We had a chez awesome dinner at the Magnus, and breakfast the next day at the Pancake Cafe. In the meantime we caught up and drank two bottles of wine.
So now you’re all caught up. I’m looking forward to getting a little bit of that pig. Slice off a shank or something, lawman, and we’ll cook it up ourselves, secret-like. We’ll drench it in some kind of sauce from BW3 and go to fucking town. Spicy Garlic-covered hog shank. Yum.
Finally, this is funny.