Brewers Opening Day

Jott From Zachery Moneypenny on Monday, 4/2/2007 2:10 PM
Hey everyone, it’s Zach. Just getting out of the Brewers game. Glen Sheath (?) pitched a complete game, pretty awesome, there are tons of people here. Let’s see,both parking lots were filled, we had to park in a neighborhood and then cut through a Jewish graveyard and then a military graveyard to get here and then we had to wait for about 45 minutes before we could find somebody selling tickets.
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I’m back from the game now, and the pictures should be uploaded to Flickr by now. It was pretty awesome, but touch and go for awhile. Once we hit the 94-894 interchange traffic stopped. Then we saw the overroad sign proclaim (grandly) that “All General Parking Lots Full”. Shit. So we were directed to get off at State Fair Park and ride a shuttle they had set up. We exited and lo and behold: one thousand people waiting to get on one yellow school bus. We had no tickets, and we were about to park miles and miles from the stadium. Peterstiffly suggested we just cruise around and try to park close enough to hike the rest of the way. We eventually found a spot on a residential street up the road from the Encore Strip-Club-in-a-House and set off on foot. Which way to proceed? Duh, follow the two guys with electric blue Brewers shirts on… through one graveyard… and then through another graveyard. Then across a street and down a hill and VOILA: we’re there… still with no tickets.

We weaved our way through many parts of both parking lots, and there was simply no one selling any tickets. All around us people were clamoring to buy three, four, or in one case, six tickets. It became preposterous that NO ONE was selling any, even for outrageous prices. After traversing the bus lot two times, we decided to let fate decide. We waited on the bridge to the stadium from the Sausage Haus and just held up two fingers. Forty-seven people smugly waved back and said, “Peace.” We, especially Kyle, were not amused. One lady ran up with her ticket and said in a sing-song voice, “I have a tic-kit and youuuu don’t. Smellllll my tickkket!” As she said the second part she turned around and put the ticket right on her butthole. I have never in my life wanted to commit violence against a lady as much as right then. Drunk fucking bitch. When we finally got our own tickets I wanted to find her and tell her to suck my fucking ticket and put it right on my wanger.

So, in any case, after being emotionally abused by drunk folks on the bridge for 15 minutes a guy walked up and sold us two Terrace Box seats for $50 each. We snapped ’em up and got on our way. Our formally leaden hearts had perked up considerably, and everything was just dandy. Once we got to our seats it was the top of the third and we were fellin’ fine.

So Glen Sheath pitched a 2-hit complete game, which was awesome, and Bill Hall hit a solo homer. Nice way to start off the season; it was a shame we couldn’t muster enough goddamn forethought to do it correctly, but in the end it worked out and we got a nice adventure out of it.

On the way home, while I was doing 70+ somewhere around Delafield, my speedometer stopped working. Feelin’ fine.

walking through the cemetary

61 thoughts on “Brewers Opening Day

  1. I’m going to re-up my netflix. Please give me one movie that you think I should add. Cal, no cowbot porn. But cowboy porn is still and always will be a-ok.

  2. where was ewaz and k-car and timmer and sean and all the other whazzing brewers nuts? was they jackin it?

    npr 4 part series about the war on drugs. fucking government wasting money on victimless crime and turning it into a world where we are ALL the victims. we are being FLEEEEECED. we simply have to start kolling politicians. it’s the only way they will listen. whoops, did i get a vowel wrong?

  3. if a cowboy fucks a cowbot (seems very plausible), is that cowboy porn or cowbot porn?

  4. it’s sorta like if someone dies at the end, all these right wingers are quick to call it snuff, but in reality it was just lesbian anal play that just happened to have SOME snuff in it…. it’s like… i’m watching this for the cowboy, asshole… NOT THE COWBOT!

  5. want to see a $15,000,000 buy in, winner takes all single table sit and go?

    casino royale

  6. how about coast to coast new highway system? mag-lev or some shit like that to stop dependance on foreign oil? no thanks, we’d rather spend billions and billions destroying crops in columbia that sprouted right back up in other countries who now fill demand. and here we are still burnin gas.

    way to go government. i can’t wait to koll you.

  7. with every bill they sign, these old fucks are screaming in a clear voice “PLEASE PLEASE DESTROY US. KILL US ALL. START WITH ME.”

    i used to think they were joking. now i hear the desperate honesty all too clear. i have an overwhelming feeling of responsibility to help them.

  8. time to go get my social security check from the indian reservation.

    so nice of those old dudes to have it sent to their house and get it cashed for me.

    i’m out. PEACE!

  9. the movie to add is:

    The Lives of Others

    it’s prob not on DVD yet but queue it up there. oh one more… the BEST MOVIE EVER. it will for sure be there:

    Fitzcarraldo

    Skeeezerrr i WAS in the GRAND CANYON and you never called i waited by the phone the whole time. really though, Canyon was GT/RAH, mp sorry i missed your call. later losers!

    your’s truly,

    cal

  10. But it worked! I was all like, they got a point. Keep your laws off them you old perverts. But now I want their laws off my body too. Son of a bitch. All I want to do is grow a beard.

  11. 45s in the big blind. Call one raise with five players in, but when it gets back to me, it’s capped.

    Fold or call?

    Flop is 345. Capped again. I plan on check raising, but it’s three bet by the time it gets to me. I put in the cap, but don’t feel all that great about it. Could you ever dare fold here? If I do it leaves two dudes heads up. I think one has AA and the other has a made str8.

    Turn is a Q. There are 3 of us in. It goes bet, raise, I call two bets, the original raiser just calls. Noiw I think the made str8 has a flush draw and not a made str8.

    River is a J. Check, bet, call, call.

    54, 53, QQ.

    Should I be better at not getting into these situations or was it a legitimate get rich or die trying kind of thing?

  12. I was in three $200 pots where I flopped shitty two pair in multiway action in capped pots. All three hit and I’m rich. One hits and I’m up 50$. Do you try to avoid these situations or embrace them?

  13. fuck you cal. i don’t have your number. you didn’t wait by any phone. you’re mocking me. fuck you. call greg. his 4 inch cock can make sure your asshole grow.

  14. oh, and cal… i saw you at the grand canyon and hid behind a cactus. then i waved rach-o over by me and pointed you out, then she told all the kids around us that you kiss boys and we all shared a laugh.

  15. w-whazz, if we get a few more dudes together we can have a beard growing contest of some sort. side bets or a point system for style categories would make things a little more interesting.

    cal only has 1 facial hair and he trims it with a womans razor. greg’s womans razor.

  16. hey guys! you see that man over there in the “runners do it on the sidewalk” tshirt?

    yes, him. he kisses boys.

  17. grand canyon stupidity: there is a new glass walkway thing some idians are hyping. it is like 45 minutes away from the national park and costs $50 just to get into the park, and then ANOTHER $25 per person if you actually want to WALK on the walkway. i went and hid underneath it and got an upskirt shot of cal.

  18. We watched choppers piss all over it. Very odd. They suck it up from the river then wazz away on the fire.

  19. I just read an artiCAL about job interviews. Tip #1 don’t add any izzle to your language. Um… ok.

  20. i’m on the up & up, bitch & one point behind u. changing ur name & shit. like i don’t know it’s u. i don’t want ur sorry players any ol’ damn way, sucka.

  21. Trying to get some tickets to the Friday Cubs game. Spacebee, her dad, me, my dad. Will it happen? Stay tuned.

  22. no chance in hell doesn’t make much sense…

    are we to assume there are chances in hell, but you just don’t have one? or that there are no chances in hell, and similar to your situation if you were in hell, you don’t have one either… but that’s the same as saying just no chance. hahahaha 4nyay sucks.

  23. major hot dog news!

    nathan’s famous is trying to take over the hebrew national 1/4lb dog space!

    nathan’s has always been famous for those long skinny red coney island dogs. they’ve been in stores for like 5+ years now. but NOW they have big fat dogs too, and they are on the shelf right next to the HN’s.

    this is bound to get BLOODY!

  24. the hebrew nationals are way better than the nathan’s by the way…. i just did a taste test.

    no chance in hell these nathan’s stay on the market for long. they are doing their brand a disservice in hell.

  25. Ugh, hot dogs are gross. Eggs are good, though. So are pictures of your sweety. Hebrew National, I swear I’m not anti-semitic, but your hot dogs can go to hell.

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