Carcassonne, WORT Festival, and Smells

Well, the weekend is over.  And when all is said and done we incurred about 80,000 calories, a progressive music festival out side my window, an epic bocce ball tournament metldown, at least 84 cans of Miller High Life, two and a half bottles of scotch, a Brewers shit-pile, and one dog complaint by my “downstairs neighbors” (i.e., jerks).  I hate to be nudge, but could we get this story started? I’m leaving to go camping in a few hours…

Wwhazz and parker got here on Friday afternoon.   Timmer was already here on Thursday, so all of us (and o’neil) left at 4pm-ish to go to the Brewers game against the Minnesota (rrr!) Twins.  We picked up whitehouse in Waukesha on the way in.  We also did it durrty-style this time: parked in a neighborhood off Bluemound and hit the liquor store for Mini-Miller Lite 6 packs and boner beers (plastic bottles like the ones they use in the stadium).  Then we went to a bar with a free shuttle, had a bottle of beer, and got down to Miller Park with about 15-20 to go before game time.  After slamming 100 8 ox Miller Lite, we each put a boner beer down our pants and went to collect our Paul Molitor bobblehead.  Oh yeah.

The game kinda sucked (Brewers Lost) but we had a good time with our obstructed-view seats in the right field (behind the foul pole).  Our section was a batch of Milwaukee’s Finest salt-of-the-earth-folk mixed with yuppies with 18 kids or yuppies with skater0punk kids dressed in beige and dark green.  I had a fine time sitting behind a 6- and 8-year-old screaming “fuckin brewers!” while sloshing my beer all over the place.  The family came in the 4th inning and left in the 7th inning.  I’m sure they had a fine time; I scavenged one of their leftover PB&J’s for later on.

We were about to start walking back to the bar area when Wwhazz sighted the Fiesta Garibaldia shuttle.  We hopped on that thing and hit the party back at the bar.  Free taco bar, free chips and salsa, two hot chicks dressed as slutty referees: they had it all.  Lawman designated drove us back to Madison, where we passed out for the night.

Our only plan for Saturday was to cook up a homemade fish fry with the 15-20 bluegills, crappe, and perch that lawman caught on opening weekend .  We had lunch at the Old Fashioned, and then decided to give the bocce court in my complex’s courtyard a test drive.  Result: we will be starting a bocce league this summer.  It was awesome, especially since so much booze was involved.  The inaugural best-of-five series saw lawman and wwhazz coming back from a 10-1 deficit to stave off elimination, then to go on to win it while whazzmaster and timmer were 3/4 in the bag on scotch.  I cannot stress how fun bocce at my house is.

So after that we reloaded our booze and took off for lawman’s pad to make our epic dinner.  While lawman prepared the coating and got things ready, I was deep in the zone of potater-preparation.  The idea: potatoes au-gratin with ramps.  Somehow.  We ended up boiling some Yukon Golds (not too soft, though), then slicing them and laying them in a glass baking dish.  Then we sauteed the ramps, some green onions, and a regular white onion down.  We cooked some half-and-half with about half a block of shredded cheddar, and then combined that mixture with the saute and spooned it over the po-taters.  Cooked that in the over til the top was crispy, and voila.  It was tasty, but not as tasty as the delicious panfish lawman fried up.  We garnished things with fresh veggies, summer sausage, and High Life.

Oh yeah, and Springer was there.  That’s right; he came, he saw, he took our money in poker, he departed.

Sunday was a Day of Rest: games of all sorts were played.  We started things off with a breakfast of leftover fried bluegill, scrambled eggs, leftover po-tater au-gratin, sausage patties, donuts, and bread.  We basically went back and forth all day between the NES emulator on the Xbox, the new board game I got wwhazz for Xmas (Carcassonne), and another bocce tournament.  Things were made… odder by the fact that WORT was staging a street music festival about 20 yards from my window.  We found a SNES game in my ROMS folder called Vegas Stakes, and spent many hours running our $1000 buy-in up to $1.2 million.  You can play craps, roulette, blackjack, slots, and 7 card stud (spread limit) poker.  We had some early luck when a zombie-man offered to wipe our shirt off, and to thank us he gave us a lottery ticket that won us $80,000, which became our nest egg.  We ran that $80K to about $400K in poker by breaking off this poor schmoe named ‘Johnny’, and then took the $400K to over a million in high stakes craps.  We ended up betting $1.2 million on the odds behind our point (5) in a no-limit craps game, and busted out.  We will be more careful next time; Johnny is easy money.

The second bocce tournament saw another epic collapse by Timmer and whazzmaster.  This was just a best-of-three set, but they came from behind in the third game to put us down.

Sadly, the pounds and pounds of fried food, eggs, coffee, scotch, and High Life made hay of our buttholes; it smelled constantly like farts all day on Sunday.

On the upside, though, we are starting to get good at Carcassonne, which is probably the funnest board game I’ve played since Thunder Road.  Knowing Scientist’s love of Dice Wars, I’d be interested to see his reaction to this game.

So, that’s about it.  This morning spacebee and I leave to go camping up near The Dells.  We’ll be gone until Thursday or Friday, so be good you little scamps.  I’d love to see a discussion of Carcassonne strategy, or barring that maybe just some plans for our bocce league this summer.  Man, this is gonna be fun.

91 thoughts on “Carcassonne, WORT Festival, and Smells

  1. Hi,

    I think this might be a better venue than email.

    Mpenny (and spacebee), o’rumseys, wirkuses, and poochies: what do you think of a big ol’ visit to the Kalish Christmas Tree Farm? I know that the wirksu family was thinkig maybe one of the first two weekends of June.

    Also, if anyone else is going to be near town and wants to join (maddd, cla, etc…)… you are welcome, too.

    We recently had our septic pump replaced, so I personally guarantee that nobody will have to wade through any level of shit water. I can also claim with a level of certainty that there won’t be any rats (of any length). I cannot make that claim about junebugs, mice, bats, chipmunks, red squirrels, turkeys, deer, cranes, or bear.


  2. let me confer with the calendar when i get back to madison tomorrow. sounds fun! we will have to take some food porn photos on you butcher block for the ole cookbook.

  3. Yo, I’m down for a weekend in ???. Rumthumb may not be able to make the whole shebang, and spacebee may have to work, but if itsa weekend, I’m game and so is lawman (I think). Wwhazz?

  4. 1. I really don’t want to see Paris or Lohan in jail, but no matter what Paris should be in for waaaay less because she is waaaaaay richer.

    2. Weekend. This weekend is belly’s grandparent’s 50th and my dad is hosting a BBQ on June 10th. But just let us get settled in and we will work out something. Visiting Pittsville has moved to my number one recreational activity.

  5. Also, my plans for sausage race weekend (July 21st) are coming along nicely. Cla is in for a real treat.

  6. sounds good to me. interesting as well because i walked past tofu the guy yesterday. i did not say hello. i walked with great strides along the sidewalk unbeknownst to tofu. i can’t wait to take the sausage race trophy back to california. good luck to the brewers tonight, i hope they will win instead of losing like during their current season-high six-game losing streak during which they are batting .200 and have been outscored 27-13… hahah sorry couldn’t resist but you know i love the crew especially when then lose! well look at that, here’s tofu now:

  7. jkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkj don’t worry wisco pals, the crew will pull themselves together!

  8. 1. Still in first by a mile. It’s called a vacation. Us non-law school going folk take time to smell the roses.

    2. We arrive Madison with a Danger Cart load of shit around 10 am in the morning. If any of you maddy whazzers want to earn a trip to Michael’s Frozen Custard, be there with sensible shoes on.

    3. Next time I see cal’s old frined John the nut I am giving out cal’s cell phone number and address. Hollar that, youngin. Expect insanity.

  9. Ugggggggggggggggggggggg…


    1. Cal, the brewers are still in first by a country mile. It’s called taking it easy. We all don’t want to be hot shot lawmakers.

    2. The Danger Cart is loaded. If any of you madison folk care to help it arrives in the morning around ten. Wear sensible shoes.

    3. For being a dick, I will punish cal. Next time I see John (you know who I’m talking about) I am giving out both your and greg’s cell numbers.

  10. spam filter is a bitch. i’m at ramada now… you needed a password and there is nothing in the room, so i tried “ramada” and it worked. that’s a cla trick right there.

  11. 1) you are weak, your brewers were a flash in the pan. the pee nonsense is an exapmle of what happens when the brewers win. it is not pretty. you should be happy. Nature has come to a balance; the losers have returned.

    2) I am going to win the sausage race!

    3) The wales are frolicking in the bay! horay!

  12. 1) your muscles are small, the brewers bats are slow. here’s an LSAT Question and Answer: if win = pee from frat boys then Lose = Good.

    2) I am going to run to victory at the race! The Sausage Race!

    3) I eagerly open the newspaper every day for tales of wales, today front page says: WANDERING WALES HOMING IN ON OPEN SEA. a glorious day.

  13. whazzman, the new coop will be close to your house. even more local in your conscientious vegetable purchasing!

  14. what coop? chicken coop? i buy all my vegetables at Locally at Walgreens: Clif Bar vegetable, snickers vegtable, gummy worm vegetable. other things i buy at walgreens are: soap (dish and hand) scotch tape, gum, batteries, sissors, chap stick (often times i buy the walgreens brand of chap stick: Chap-Aid. it’s slightly less expensive and also slightly larger, so you get a bit more and pay less– also, i feel the quality is equal to the more expensive “chap-stick” brand) blank CDs, razor blades, sandwich baggies, staples, pens, plant food (i was surprised by this one, i needed some plant food because my plants were looking a little wilty, so i checked at walgreens and there it was!) perscription medication, eye drops, ice packs, highlighters, coffee, gatoraid, mineral water (lemon or lime i don’t really care either way) notebooks, light bulbs. one time i bought a pair of flip flops to take to the pool for the low price of 99 cents. i took them too the pool. sometimes still i’ll take them to the pool if i feel like a swim. shampoo. once i bought a special kind of shampoo for chlorine that i found at walgreens. i take that to the pool as well. i bought googles to take to the pool, but i think they only have cheapy ones at walgreens so i bought mine at a sporting goods store. but i have seen googles at walgreens, this is probably not a high turnover product but they do carry them. probably they are more likely to carry them during the summer, maybe not in the winter. but you might be able to get them at walgreens in the winter, because a lot of people swim inside in pools in the winter so then you’d need goggles.

  15. you know what is impossible to buy? a fan in winter. i needed a fan in the winter. i went to home depot, i went to target, i went to walgreens twice, i went to culvers and got a double cheeseburger. you just can’t buy them. weird.

    also weird: i’m in the ramada for another night… fuckers screwed up our apartment in san marcos. THEN rach-o got a call today that her job in escondido (4 minutes from san marcos) was filled, but they got her a new assignment in san diego (50 minutes from san marcos) so we were like… uh… bullshit. then after a bunch of drama today she got her housing stipend up to 21 folds and we got a closer housing assignment…. in………. archstone mission valley of course. ladybell and w-whazz need no longer worry about the A not being represented.

    cal, you know what is cooler than walgreens? cvs and circle k. walgreens blows.

  16. did anyone else find razor blades oddly out of place and feel concern about a possible coke habit? also… did a dude from freedom grill corporate incorporated industries really leave a post on this site like “thank you for liking our grill”?!?!

    never take that thing off. seriously. i’ve never seen it, i’ve never seen one, and even knowing that it exists, seeing on pass me on the road would make my week. don’t rob your fellow drivers of that joy.

  17. “blank CDs, razor blades, sandwich baggies…
    staples, pens, plant food”


  18. if you are going to commit to leaving the grill on, you should also get a custom license plate… brainstorm:


    time to get drunk, bye cal

  19. How about:


  20. I hate fantasy baseball. Let’s all hold our dicks for a half a year; it’ll be just as fun as the dinger league.

  21. whoa there grill man, take er easy. the dinger league is a great and wonderful undertaking, one not to be taken lightly. to some it may seem fruitless, but let us look to the Tao Te Ching for insight.

    48. Inaction

    The follower of knowledge
    learns as much as he can every day;
    The follower of flow
    forgets as much as he can every day.

    By attrition he reaches a state of inaction
    Wherein he does nothing, but nothing remains undone.

    To conquer the world, accomplish nothing;
    If you must accomplish something,
    The world remains beyond conquest.

  22. Hey national spelling bee fans, just a reminder that the finals are on tonight on ABC at 7 central. Madison speller Isabel Jacobsen (last year’s 14th place finisher) will be competing.

  23. ktk dont’ you have a phd in english or something? because that is the most bizzarre use of the parenthesis and the exclaimation point i ever have seen. ESPN! you like ESPN or something? what do you like about it? sports news? when they made ESPN they wondered about how many hours of sports news people would watch, do you know what they found? sports news AROUND THE CLOCK. there is no limit to the amount of sports news people want. it is truly a weird thing. so sayith cal

  24. hi CLA… I can tell you “dont'”


    seriously, though:

    1. Parens: anyone who had spent four hours of their life would know reference that there were “rounds” to the bee, thus the fact that it was the bee became parenthetical info.

    2. The excitement about ESPN is mainly because I’ve never watched ESPN. My exclamation point didn’t really signal the delightful irony that there are a bunch of noodley bespectacled dorks spelling words on the “sports” network. I was excited, though, that there was something on ESPN that I’d actually want to watch.

    3. Plate:


  25. hey cal, look out with ktk and the english PhD zingers.

    we once watched a movie together and i lamented the fact that i did not predict the ending while she and k-car did. ktk said,

    “well, brian and i are english people.”

    ZAP! i have a DOUBLE bachelor’s degree fuckers! film AND you guessed it, english. english with a small e.

    that didn’t count enough for me to be an “english person,” apparently.

    btw, re: going to farm kalish for more insults to my intelligence, next weekend works for me as i only work on sunday night.

  26. What about next weekend for the rest of you? Wirkus, do you had belly have something going on? Whazzmaster?

    Come on! Who wants to be insulted!

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