40 thoughts on “Hey, Look What The Internet Can Do

  1. Any time I’m sitting anywhere and the smell of just-lit charcoal wafts into my nose, my heart goes flippity-flop. There. Just now it did.

  2. w-whazz, any speculation on which dealer had TB? i say the little filipino dealer that always said “sex to call” instead of “6 to call”. it is that haphazard use of sexual innuendo that is going to get us all sick.

  3. cal, i listened to “music for the madd skeezer” at the lucky lady last night… that is a wonderful compilation. heavy on MF DOOM, but he embodies the artistic spirit of the mix.

  4. last hand of the night NL lucky lady, 5 people all in pre-flop. the most anyone had covered was about 400. the hands: AQ, AQ, AQ, AQ, 55. the 55 won like 1100+ pot.,

  5. UFC is good this time. watching from home… $40 is cheaper than getting drunk at a bar.

    tito wins

  6. Yeah… we had to go to Hooters to see it. Cab ride, bar tab, chicken tax, tip.

    But a decent enough show.

  7. HELLO! out there everybody… first, who knew it was “bated breath”??? what the hell is “bated” anyway? i know what “batted” is… like: the twins batted around when they faced the brewers, or euker (i can’t be bothered to look up the correct spelling this time) batted 200 again this year. oh by the way, he is the worst commentator ever. why no color comonatator to go along with euker? dude is on cruise control in the booth, ruth. 2) madd, i’m glad you like the mix, heavy on the doom, at the time i was thinking MF DOOM was the greatest. i will get you a new one to enjoy. what else? sadly, my tour of eruope ended saturday night! we had a lovely time my friends. EXCEPT! we missed our connecting flight to london due to bad weather in NY and every hotel was booked or asking $300 so we stayed with cheryl in brooklyn and left the next day. props to cheryl. also they managed to lose our bags and it was just like meet the parents. hey we went to Brittany, France my friends! remember that scene in the godfather when al pacino goes back to italy until things cool off? it was like that. i parleyed a lot of french. then we went back to london and to wimbledon! was very cool, and you know what was the coolest? that they didn’t play the damn national anthem over and over like they do this country.

    now for important schedule stuff:

    i get into chitown very early friday morning the 20th… i am planning on renting a car and going direclty to my pal moneypenny’s crib, where i will play with swords and throw down on that wii.


  8. yeah didn’t i post that cherio message from london? i could have sworn… but i was way way way messed up that day due to jet lag and cocaine. jk! just jet lag. ha.

  9. i do coke with bated breath… i’m excited to play wii! i have never played one. i’m nervous about the sausage race though. after my marathon flop i lost all my confidence. maybe if someone would say: cal you can do it! on this website it would help.

  10. here i am at lutsen with bated breath. enough with the bated breath already. cal, we drove through duluth today and though of you, and grandma of course. it is her marathon after all. last time i typed from this northwoods computer it was to say congrats to just born hadley kalish. yikes, time flies.

    MP, we will be back friday so, do you think you can pick up the veggies again? thanks much in advance.

    tomorrow, kayaking and perhaps the “Moose Program” which we are still unclear about, but sounds interesting.

  11. MF DOOM is a witty, clever, intelligent rapper who paints a clear picture of a disastrous reality.

    the problem with that: if you are so clever, and things are so bad, then why not paint a picture of reality and focus your highlight on the positive?

    MF DOOM says, fuck that. give me some food.

  12. MF Doom Deep Fried Frenz Lyrics
    Before we go any furthur..FRIENDS!

    [MF Doom]
    As you call em, they call you when they need somethin
    Trees for the blunt ‘n, to g’s for the frontin
    I found a way to get piece of mind for years
    And left the hell alone, turn a deaf ear to the cellular phone
    Send me a letter, or better, we could see each other in real life
    Just so you could feel me like a steel knife
    At least so you could see the white of they eyes
    Bright wit surprise, once they finish spittin lies
    Asssociates, is your boys, your girls, bitches, niggaz, homies?
    close, but really don’t know me
    Mom, dad, comrade, peeps, brothers, sisters, duns, dunnies
    Some come around when they need some money
    Others make us laugh like the Sunday funnies
    Fam be around whether you paid or bummy
    You could either ignore this advice, or take it from me
    Be too nice and people take you for a dummy
    So nowadays he ain’t so friendly
    Actually they wouldn’t even made a worthy enemy
    Read the signs: no feeding the baboon
    Seein as how they got ya back bleeding from the stab wounds
    Ya’ll know the dance, they smile in ya face, ya’ll know the glance
    Try ta put ’em on, they blow the chance
    Never let your so-called mans know ya plans
    (Whodini: How many of us have them?)….a show of hands
    (Whodini: FRIENDS!)
    Is a term some people use loosely
    I’m real choosy on what I choose to let crews see
    You telling me, I try ta act broke
    Jealousy, the number one killer among black folk
    Fellas be under some type a spell, like crack smoke
    Ghetto cinderellas, lead ’em right to your stack loc
    Just another way a chick’ll lead to your end
    I check the dictionary for the meanin of Friends
    It said: Person, one who likes to socialize with
    Sympathise and help her, and that’s about the size of it
    Most of the time these attributes is one-sided
    To bolster the crime, they apt to shoot you through your eyelid
    And they can’t hide it, goin wild like a white bitch
    Sometimes ya need to cut niggaz off like a light switch
    (Click!) an when things get quiet
    Catch ’em like a thief in the night (Bow!) what a riot
    I first met Mister Fantastik at a arms deal
    Don’t let it get drastic, think of how yer moms’ll feel
    When it get for real, the steel get to sparkin
    Everything darken, and ain’t no talkin
    For somethin so cheap it sure buys a lot of trouble
    Ya better off focusing than tryin ta plot the bubble
    Or else it’d be a sad note to end on, the guns we got is…
    (Whodini: One’s we can depend on..FRIENDS!)
    Some come in the form of co-dependence
    Alotta times only end up bein co-defendants
    Ten bucks say they tell for a lower sentence
    And leave you up under the jail, beggin for a penance
    It don’t make no sense, what happened to the loyalty?
    Honor amongst crooks, trust amongst royalty
    I’d rather go out in a blaze, than give ’em the glory
    (Whodini: How many of us have–)…a similar story
    (Whodini: FRIENDS!)
    Before lovers we used to have some type of overstanding
    Just so when I let her get the man thing, she know its no strings
    We could do the damn thing, but hoe its no rings
    Just how the tramp swings, will she see ’em again?
    That depends on how good was the skins
    And could she memorize the lessons, it ain’t no need to pretend
    Even though she let ’em stab it, she know they just…[friends]

    FRIENDS! How many of us have them?
    FRIENDS! Ones we can depend on?
    FRIENDS! How many of us have them?
    FRIENDS! Before we go any furthur….

  13. So I came to her college on a surprise visit
    To see my girl that was so exquisite
    It was a school day, I knew she was there
    The first semester of the school year
    I went to a gate to ask where was her dorm
    This guy made me fill out a visitors form
    He told me where it was and I as on my way
    To see my baby doll, I was happy to say
    I arrrived in front of the dormitory
    Yo, could you tell me where is door three?
    They showed me where it was for the moment
    I didnt know I was in for such an event
    So I came to her room and opened the door
    Oh, snap! guess what I saw?
    A fella tongue-kissin my girl in the mouth,
    I was so in shock my heart went down south
    So please listen to the message that I say
    Dont ever talk to a girl who says she just has a friend

  14. Dude, fuck that: I want to live in one of those… on ktk and kcar’s farm.

    Also, wwhazz and I (and papa wwhazz) hit a poker tourney last night. $60 buy-in, probably 85-90 people involved. First prize: $1350. Good game, and apparently it runs every week. I busted out pretty early on. I saw no pairs, and the only ‘good’ hands were KQo and AQs. I wanted to make a move late with less in some instances but then some guy in middle position would go all-in and I’d toss my J8o. With 1350 chips and the blinds at 175-300, I just pushed with K5 against some dude’s pocket 10’s. Say lah vee.

    I’ll let wwhazz describe his ride to glory, but I have to comment on one thing. It’s funny that any time you get a subgroup of people together regularly over a game of some sort, it really does turn into some sort of pseudo-D&D fest. I mean, if these guys were playing Magic The Gathering instead of poker, I would not have been surprised. Pokerwise, however, it was tough. I guess this group meets regularly, and they’re all on a first name basis with each other. I guess they sent a bunch of players to the $1500 buyin at the World Series, and three cashed (for $3000, $5000, and $27000). There was also a guy from the group who is in the main event, and at the start of the tourney they announced that he had moved into the top twenty or thirty in chips (for the moment).

    After I got busted out I played 1-2 NL cash game with some maniacs. The swings were huge, but it was fun. I eventually won about half my tourney buy-in back before we left. In addition to the 1-2 NL there was a big NL cash game (with dudes sitting on $800+ stacks and lots of action) and a fucking dealer’s choice omaha game going on (dealer’s choice between High and High/Low). There was a very loud, very happy, very wealthy scientist-man playing in the Omaha game. Near the end of the night he bought everyone at the table drinks and then announced: “TOMORROW, I’M GONNA BUY MY LITTLE GIRL A NEW BIKE!”, to which an old grandma playing there responded, “Shit, you can buy her a new car.”


  15. My bro just told me that yesterday he ran $50 to $3500 at Potowatomi in blackjack. Even better, he took the proceeds and: paid off his wedding rings, paid off two credit cards, paid 5 months of car payments, and put $1000 in the bank. Nice. He’s tentatively coming up next week to play poker/golf. Also, Scientist, my bro’s bachelor party is going to be golf, poker, and booze in Racine. It’s August 25th. You are invited. If you and wwhazz wanna ditch out on golf, and meet for cards and booze, that is ok.

  16. Poker was great. I took 3rd for $500. We played in the back of a VFW post and I warned whazzmaster not to base deal cuz I didn’t want to get stomped like in Rounders. It was a perfect hideout for an illegal card game and they had 2$ brats.

    Like dude already said: tourney runs every Tuesday. $60 buy in/ 80 or so players and 5 or 6 playahs and/or playboys. This is the same game timmer used to play in when it was at JT’s on the Swamp. I guess dude just moves it around to keep the heat off his ass. I actually recognized quite a few players from JT’s, potowatomi and Bishops Chess Club.

    Third place was cool but also, you know, sucked. With four left I was chip leader. It went 50k, 33k, 17k, 17k. First hand of four handed me and the 33K get it all in, my QQ to her AK. She hits an A and a K and just like that I’m shorty in the BB. I tried to strike back, but much like the Empire, it only worked for a little while. Soon AQ and 1010 clashed and it was three handed. I was still shorty so I pushed utg with J3s cuz the blinds were about to go up. The same girl who tanked my QQ pondered and then called with 22. Another coin flip. I hit a J on the flop(yes!), turned a flush draw(yes!!) and she rivered a 2(nooooooooooooo). She ended up winning. I guess she won last week too.

    Overall, I was happy with my play. I had a little luck (of course) but I also stayed cool and avoided trouble. The two races at the final table were my only two of the whole tournament. Otherwise I mostly just fast played my big hands for big paydays, mixed in a couple slow plays and used my stack to punish limpers and take blinds. I also pulled off two really nice bluffs, one of them on the bubble for a monster pot. I missed an open ender but pushed on the river when a flush hit. Dude was pissed and folded 2 pair face up.

    The cash game looked good but a little too big for my liking. When it comes to cash I’m still a ride or die limit player. But I’d love to see how a scientist would handle that omaha game.

  17. corn boil at vermont valley on august 5th. i think we should bring any madison based whazzers along. esp. since we missed the pea pick and all.

  18. How about a tar and feathering in Racine? Bring a lot of tar because I’m coming for whazzmaster’s bro. Lets get that 1000 he has in the bank. We’ll bring Thunder Road and loaded dice.

  19. I had a dream last night that Cal and Wwhazz came to our house in Marinette and they wanted to go to some fishing hole under a bridge. The house was a little messy and I was really embarassed. Then they pointed out all these really great cabinets that we didn’t know we had and they were full of towels and crib sheets.

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