Dick Move!

You have just been introduced to my new favorite exclamation. The “move” in question, always performed by a “dick” is to drive a car, truck, or maintenance vehicle across or down the bike path in back of my apartment building. Basically, two streets dead-end into the bike path in question, while the parking lot of my building lies on the other side. So, when an asshole drives down those streets, hits a dead-end, but sees light at the end of the tunnel, they decide to just ramrod their way across a pedestrian-only walkway and use the parking lot as a shortcut.

I don’t know why this pisses me off. It shouldn’t. I think it’s because my office window looks out on the exact place where they Dukes of Hazzard through the off-limits area. I see them pull up to the dead-end. I see them stop. I can almost see the look on their faces when they decide such things as Rules don’t apply to them and then they just gun it. Sometimes people are on the path; sometimes it is empty. No matter what though, I always yell out, “DICK MOVE!”

PS- the exclamation “DICK MOVE, ASSHOLE!” is reserved for when an asshole pulls up to the sign that says “MOTOR VEHICLES PROHIBITED”, gets out of their car and moves the barricade out of the way, and then drives through. It can also be used when someone doesn’t just CROSS the bike path but TURNS ONTO IT and drives away as if it is their own personal highway. DICK MOVE, ASSHOLE!

4 thoughts on “Dick Move!

  1. and a jolly happy 50th to robert hansen. a relative i’ve never met. he is NOT hulk hogan.

    episode 3 recap: late 30s drunk man sits at the table, insults oldy olderson somehow. the topic of pussies comes up. oldy suggests late 30s mother is somehow linked to the conversation. late 30s turns on the death stare, old rhetorically asks what late 30s drunk is aiming the death stare at. late 30s drunk non-rhetorically states “a dead man”. blah blah, oh-no-you-di-in’t, blah lets go outside, blah blah, back to pussies and mothers, blah blah back to i’ll kill you. security sweeps late 30s drunk away as he puts his last chip in which i win. cops come. at no point did i think about how lucky i was to have the option to buy and eat beef jerky.

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