Well said, madd scientist, well said.

It was my distinct pleasure to be stationed in sunny California while Wisconsin was deluged with snow, ice, and a rampaging, out-of-control wwhazz-and-bellygirl-with-a-sled-in-tow. Their desecration of cemeteries is notorious and the dead positively reel at the transgressions. Upon your own deaths, expect the welcome wagon to consist primarily of cold(er) shoulders and flaming bags of poo on your front afterlife stoop.

How was the Blue Moon last night? Was that guy working? The one who serves drinks? He’s terrific.

I must confess: Cal, I was in San Francisco on Saturday night, but declined to inquire about your whereabouts. Why? Because you live in a city (and a part of that city in particular) that is openly hostile to visitors. Yes, yes San Francisco, I’m driving a car. I know that it’s anathema to all you hold dear and all, but I didn’t relish the thought of driving in a circle for upwards of 45 minutes so I could get a spot of tea and some crumpet crumbs before rocketing away. Our alternative: cab from hotel to Cal, Flipper’s burger, cab back to hotel, pay another $8 per hour for the luxury of keeping my car at said hotel. All in all, a headache inducing plan. And who knows? Maybe we would do all that and Cal would be face down in a book on Lemon Torts at the Law Library, or busy buying German tchotchkes at his favoritest German Tchotchke Store. It was a difficult decision to make, but we skipped directly to Step 2: descend on Winter’s Bar in Pacifica and watch the Packers game with GMX. We drank goddamned motherfucking the most delicious sangria on god’s green earth. I was wild-eyed; delirious with taste excitement even before my prawns with white-wine garlic sauce appeared at the table. IT WAS GOOD~!

Madd, are you gonna be stopping over in SFO for any length of time this week? Maybe we could 3 or 4 twenty ounce beers. HOLLLARIT.

25 thoughts on “POOP. BOX. HERO.

  1. we didn’t just whazz into the cemetery and start sledding we stopped and thought about it first.
    A. We know we weren’t going to slide over any graves cause they all had x-mas wreaths on them which pointed them out even if they weren’t big ones like Dan Nevasier style

    B. wwhazz said, “what if you were buried here, would you be pissed if two people were sledding in your cemetery or would you think it was cool?” Bellygirl said, “I would think it was cool.”

    C. It was the best hill we had found all night.

  2. The moon was good- fried food galore, a couple of drunk old men. I think Roger was the bartender. we paid 15 dolla to be in a bowl game pick the right team pool. And spacebee joined us for one but then we had to go cause wwhazz was way to drunko.

  3. I was playing penny poker on Starts when belly came home because school was cxled cuz of snow.

    “You don’t want to go sledding do you?” she asked.

    “Heck no,” I said, but she looked like a sad little kid, so I changed it to, “fine, if you feed me some booze.”

    We bundled up and went to Smokies for shrimp cocktail and bloody marys, but turns out they are closed on Sunday and Tuesday. I shoulda remembered that from my Concourse days. Instead, we went to the new Pasquals up in Hilldale and 3 or 4ed margaritas and Pacifico. I ate a mini salad burrito. That place is pretty good.

    After that, Ace Hardware for sleds. The ranged in price from $4 for a roll up to $26 for a metal disk sled. We each got a 6$ plastic disk. Belly’s is blue and mine is orange. After that we aimed for the village and hit every hill we passed. Much like slip and slide, grown humans get beat the fuck up when their sled takes a jump. Belly’s chin has a big egg on it and my palm and elbow are bruised.

    We hid our sleds in a snow bank and drank at the Village. Then bought a sixer at that ghetto Stop and Go. Then we went sledding in the grave yard. For you ex-Hojoers, this is the same grave yard that holds the tomb of Dan Neviser. Dude has one of the best graves there.

    Back at home, we warmed up and drank for a while. If I had to guess, I’d say our walk was about five miles or so. By the time we got to the Moon, I was pretty far gone, but I do remember that Spacebee was wearing scrubs with candy canes and gingerbread men on it. Overall a fun adventure.

  4. I wasn’t causing trouble at the Moon. I was just falling apart. At one point Belly was all excited because she found a $20 bill on the ground. Turns out it was mine. I was just dropping money.

    Also, I forgot all about that Bowl game pick em. Sure hope we win.

  5. how long are you going to be up there for? maybe we could meet in gilroy and you could help me re-up my pickled garlic stash.

  6. i want to sled and hang out with the whazzmaster and… and… KALIMAZZOO! MADD SCIENTIST!

    i was studying lemon torts so it’s ok you didn’t call homie. PEACE!

    sleding! ==] vrrrrrrrrrroooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmm!

  7. FRUIT BOX HERO! hey this weekend i played that guitar video game for the first time and i enjoyed it. i also played the wii. it was good. if i fail out of law school may i still whazz?

    your friend,


  8. Happy birthday to KTK! I hope Aeden and Hadley woke up real early and made you breakfast in bed. Have a nice day. Love, bellygirl

  9. I ated a burrito with fuddruckus, manders, and grace-o last night. Also: Billy. It was delicious, and I thank them for the hospitality. Man, La Victoria makes some good shit.

  10. cal, i think i overheard my wife saying that we’re moving 30 minutes north of san fran! now we can go to flippers together every sunday! or should i call it FLIPPERDAY! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  11. i asked her about it, and there are 2 leads… 1 in patmyloma (west of rubmyweiner and north of san franmyweiner) and 1 directly in san fran! we could go to flippers every day! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  12. wow! i’ll sneak you into my classes! I’ll learn how to play poker! shopping! riding the cable cars! ding ding! it’s madd and cal finally brought together by fate!

  13. the place in san fran needs someone right away, and they there is one other person they are offering the job to. whoever can start first gets it. it’s in knob creek or knoll hill or knob hill or knoll creek or something like that. are rent will be free but we’ll have to pay $500/mo parking. oh the shoppinG!

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