How Many Ways Can A Man Bleed


Why no posts, Moneypenny? It’s because you good-for-nothing slugs haven’t sent me any cool links, or started any new memes. At the very least, Scientist hasn’t invented anything lately. No new manifestos, assertions, or lyriCAL medleys. BasebALL SEASON IS WAXING, however, and we’re looking to start the year off strong. Sunday is Wrestlemania: it’s Hercules v Colossal Pete for the World Heavyweight Title-Belt. Monday is Brewers/Cubs at Wrigley, and I’m taking the day off. Should The LyriCAL Genius Madd Scientist and M.C. CAL (with Lady E-to-the-M and Rah-Heezy) show up, they will of course be afforded the center seat on the ol’ couch and a heaping helping of pulled pork, baked beans, and moonshine from Lawman’s still. What’s that? You won’t be coming? That’s alright, I’m sure California is just great this time of years. Schmucks.

That’s OK, I still (kind of) love you guys. In fact, can I sleep on your couch on April 25th? I’m gonna be in San Francisco for nerd shit.

The comments on this post are terrific. CAL’s turtle story, Much Ado About Sonic, Cal’s Law School Troubles (Getting Into One), the epic “double re-love as scientist connects with cal on the comeback. triple word score, homey.” S’all good motherfuckers.

Jesus Christ this website is one gigantic in-joke. Where’s The Old Man?

17 thoughts on “How Many Ways Can A Man Bleed

  1. Wish I was there. Wisconsin looks like fucking garbage tonight; if they win, I won’t see it.

  2. Hello to you, fine sir.
    Where are you from, somewhere close?
    Where are you going, someplace nice?
    Where have you been, a place worth talking about?
    The Nitty Gritty?
    Fuck that shit.

  3. I’m back in the game! I played a 10FFP freeroll with rebuys with my last 30FFP and got freakin 4th out of 580. So now I’m in the third stage for some Latin America Poker tour package.

    And then I got 2nd in a 180-man $12 for like 4 bills. My dad was in for half and I had to pay off some other shit, but long story short, two deep runs got me back in the game. I got 84 bones and a cool ticket.

    Big thanks to belly for her help in the freeroll. I was across the street getting some DVDs and a blizzard and she jumped on the computer and started playing, hitting two sets in a row and quadrupling me up. She came in to check her email and just started playing.

  4. Got raped on the final hand too– I pushed with A10s and got called by Q10. The flop came ten, the turn gave me the nut flush draw and the river gave him his one safe queen. I think the hackers did that to send a message, to keep me on my toes.

  5. Ok, here’s one. When I was five, I had a pet turtle, a nice painter. I kept him in a plastic swimming pool in my back yard and fed him worms and minnows. One night a raccoon tried to steal him, but my mom foiled the attack and he survived.

    The end

  6. The real end came when the city of Milwaukee confiscated my turtle after a neighbor kid licked my turtle and got salmonella. Fool’s mom called the health department and I guess it’s illegal to own certain turtles, so they came and took it away.

    The real (sad) end

  7. “Portland” (2002) DJ’ing at a strip club; exploring tunnels and visiting a steel mill. (CC, R)


  8. holy cow that was a good one to reread. april 15 i will be T Minus one week until finals, or, as i like to call them “my undoing.” it will not be a pretty sight. anyways enjoy the cubs game!

  9. Back from Ho-Chunk. Trip report: wild swings in craps (nothing new) ending $60 down, won $45 at blackjack, paid $5.50 for a chicken tenders dinner. Poker room was jammed when we got there, the board was 10+ for every single game. Once I got almost back to even in craps, lawman and I split. High point: rolled 3 points on my last roll, which was nice considering I hadn’t hit one point in quite a while. Sadly, the gentlemen to my right was wiped out (playing the don’t) when I hit (in order) 5, 10, 4 and he had the odds behind his $25 don’t bet maxed. Yikes.

  10. 8=======)

    There will be an initial public offering on my wang. My wang has SERIOUS growth potential.

  11. Peterstiffly: wrestlemania starts whenever you wanna show up tomorrow. wwhazz is coming over around 3 or 4. lawman will show up when he deems it time. i’ll be lying around.

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