The One That Got Away

Due to my current geographical quandry I was unable to see Gagne give up back-to-back homers and a single to blow the sweep of the Reds, though I did get to hear all about it when I had the ESPN Phillies/Mets game on in the hotel room.  Say lah vee.  There, my blood pressure has returned to its semi-normal levels.

My flights kinda/sorta/really sucked.  From Madison to Kansas City I had the delight of sitting next to a larger lady with horrible BO. Seriously, she was like the Stink Monster from Lost or whatever.  On the second, longer leg of my journey I sat across the aisle from an older couple.  For more than half the flight they alternated standing in the aisle facing their seats doing knee bends and exercises while their asses came perilously close to my face.  I stoically read my book.  I did get in early to SFO yet all I did with my extra time was pay $5.68 for a Miller Lite and watch the dumb NBA Playoffs.  I would have gone down to do some gardening but I was scheduled to have dinner with a co-worker and his family.  That was good too, though, as I got some good ol’ Mexican food from Los Charros in Mountain View.

Starting on Wednesday I’ll be reporting LIVE from San Francisco at the Intuit Tech Forum.  Co-starring, The Madddddddddd Scientist or as we call him these days Worky McNoGamble.

32 thoughts on “The One That Got Away

  1. why allow others to seemingly evoke a dick response from you?

    1) to prove you can be a dick
    2) to prove that people can be dicks
    3) to relate dickish responses to situations you feel deserve to be related to dickish responses
    4) to explain your internal conflict with being a dick but trying to not be one
    5) cal is a dick

  2. Q: Maurice of Milwaukee – Hi i’m a african American who is a big Brewers fan? So here my question With six picks in the first two rouds what positions/Pitchers you think they will look at ?

  3. Hi Maurice– today the brewers traded Gabe Gross to Tampa for a minor pitcher a few minutes after he crossed the plate to win the game for the crew. Interesting move.

  4. Anyway, the link was to a artiCAL from some dude at Duke who claims that Mac and Marcus are secretly gay (Vandover too).

  5. yo weeeewhazz – everytime i remember i have to call you it’s like 10pm here… what sort of schedule are you on?

  6. I’m on a lame one. I usually am up at around 7:30 and in bed around 1:00.

    But sometimes I party and stay up until 1:15.

    Holl(er)(a)(lairt).

  7. Sceizzer: we’re done around 8 and i think i’m looking out at the OTHER side of the School for Young Skrillionaires. Down to ride?

  8. scratch that other place…. i’m at the crizzle, rach-o went with her coworkers, so hoooooooolirritirdkrkd

  9. hey cal, if you decide to quit, do you want to work on my new will smith project? it’s about a mad scientist that studies fundamental attributes of gamma rays and applies it to string theory and the prime number generating function and discovers how any transmitted signal can be “turbocharged” with his theories. he then discovers that the cell phone network is vulnerable through data injection. microwaves will fry dead tissue, but travel through living tissue. turbocharged cell waves kill. will smith saves the day. in doing so, he teaches his adopted son a lesson, then he bangs TBD actress and in the end she checks an EPT pregnancy test, learns she is pregnant in clear text, and then uses her verizon phone to call will’s character and let him know. will answers on his verizon cell phone. confidently.

    i need people in my licensing office, but i also need a director, a set engineer, and animators… so you pick.

  10. i’m trying to push up the bad tilapia release to 2009, so we need a preview reel on this new project by then. also a name.

  11. leaving library … i won’t stop believing… street lights, people whoa whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

  12. i just downloaded stella… an atari 2600 emulator (makes your computer able to execute game programs intented to run on atari hardware), and then got the journey – escape ROM image. i got bored with the game in less than 2 minutes. there was nothing to master. worst game ever?

  13. hey cal, want to kick it sometime before next tuesday? if you’re too busy reading, i’ll read to you… if you’re out of cash, i’ll pay. you can even bring your lovely and we’ll just sit and listen to her talk. i think i’ll miss your hilly gateway to the great beyond. i used to despise entering her gravitational field (which i define as the unisys building off 101), but today while returning from a midnight quest for cheap suburban gasoline ($4.39!)%*&) i found myself on 80 taking in the skyline very eager to get back IN.

  14. oh, also in my will smith movie, the mad scientist uses the golden ratio to perfect his cell wave turbocharging data injection attack.

    basically the vulnerability lies in the protocols used to encrypt the data and to transmit the data. a certain datastream causes the frequencies to harmonize, and if the rate of approach to this harmony is achieved through a function of the golden ratio, then the energy can approach infinity, but you’ll get there the quickest. so quick you’ll tear up space. laser cats. i don’t know how to make the beams colored red or green or blue yet… but will smith stops all that jazz. and can still get that mobile phone call about his new shorty.

    i think verizon only has high marketshare because “verizon wireless” is sequential alphabetically V-W just like hitler with the volkswagons. it’s mind control. the only problem is they are building our flock. we just need a few cell towers and then Tela Universal can go live. Tela… like tele? yeah, but phonetically. how cool is that?! while it work anywhere? IT WORKS EVERYWHERE. that is what universal means. VW is looking pretty stale. come on down to TU. water’s nice. the alpha betas are a club of eager monkeys quick to harvest before the fruit is ripe. NERDS!

  15. An image of cal: baggy sweatpants, law school across the ass. Nalgene water bottle. No make up.

  16. Turnbow got the boot. I’d post the link but your jerk website would just eat it.

    From the jsonline comments on the story:

    “it’s kind of like the dog that you loved but pooped in the house… it was just time for him to go.”

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