Xmas in Fucking July

The Brewers are surging, Kerrry Wood’s arm fell off, the Cardinals are getting swept at home (Albert Who?) and The Onion has the breaking news: C.C. Sabathia, Prince Fielder Keep Imagining Each Other As Giant Talking Hot Dog, Hamburger.

MILWAUKEE—The Brewers’ playoff push has run afoul of an unusual distraction, as sources close to the organization confirm that newly acquired husky starting pitcher C.C. Sabathia and sizable power-hitting first baseman Prince Fielder continue to visualize one another as a 6’7″ chili cheese dog and a 260-pound hamburger with all the trimmings, respectively.

So– I’m out in California and I can’t see Brewers games anymore.  I just get off of work, look at the scoreboard online, and see that we’re kicking the shit out of Team X.  I can handle that.

Btw– fuddruckus and manders had Baby Two this week.  Grace-o has a baby sister.  Her whazzmaster name?  Hmmmmm.  Either maven or ant; I haven’t decided.  Why doesn’t everyone congratulate them on this joyous occasion!  Huzzah!

Hey Cal– you wanna do something this weekend? Sunday in the City?  Eh?  Hollllar back, youngin.

16 thoughts on “Xmas in Fucking July

  1. “Usually, the other players step in before one of them takes a bite out of the other,” said Brewers reliever David Riske. “But the whole thing is pretty unsettling. Sabathia and I were getting our arms rubbed the other day, just kind of stretching them out across the massage table, when suddenly an empty jar of relish rolled by. I looked up, and Prince had put a huge hot dog bun and all the trimmings on Sabathia’s arm when he wasn’t paying attention. C.C. pulled himself out at the last minute, but when Prince’s teeth came together, it made a chomping sound you could hear throughout the clubhouse.”

  2. Brett Favre is on twitter. He said cal looks like John Cusack and his floppy hair needs mousse.

  3. By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.
    -Confucius

    Through deep study at the side The Scientist for a year, or through serious reflection on the behavior of The Scientist, I may have achieved great knowledge. But I was afraid: what will I do for food? What if I don’t like frozen slushy booze drinks? What if I can’t fly the helicopters? What if he hurts me??? I was weak and could not consider the true path to wisdom. instead I chose the way of big J. I am deeply bitter.

  4. building on others non-reflected experience is the easiest way to encourage me to hurt you.

    and fuck even suggesting you don’t or might not like frozen slushy booze drinks.

  5. The guy who does the voice of Bender is also the voice of Marcus Phoenix in Gears of War. Odd.

  6. Oh yeah– I caught Sportscenter this morning and the lead story was the Brewers sweep of the Cards. Second story was on Brewers win streak. Third story was Cubs highlights against Marlins. Fourth story was on the outlook of the NL Central. Nice.

  7. if i taught phd students economics, i would pronounce capitalism ka-pitle-ism. what, are you going to stop me? it’s a free market!

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