Cast ‘Member’

The Brewers game today wasn’t on TV so I had it on my radio while I worked.  They ended up sweeping the Nationals (awesome) and I happened to leave the radio on while I was doing other stuff.  Anyways, I ended up hearing a commercial for some joint out by the mall called Tilted Kilt Pub.  Apparently these dudes are trying to give Hooters a run for their money– which I guess I can understand but there were two things that bothered me.

One: From their ‘about us‘ page:

The idea for a modern American, Irish, Scottish and English sports pub was the brain child of successful restaurateur Mark DiMartino. Wanting to impress Harrah’s hotel executives, Mark dressed in his finest T-shirt, ripped Levi’s and well-worn Chuck Taylor sneakers and pitched his idea of a contemporary, Celtic theme sports pub staffed with beautiful servers. And guess what the uniforms would be… knee-high socks and short, sexy plaid kilts with matching plaid halter tops under white shirts tantalizingly tied to show off the midriff.

There really is a lot of backslapping going on here when the idea boils down to: Hooters + Less Orange Shit.  Don’t try to sell me that this is the idea of the millenium.

Two: They’re using the Vegas Showgirl-Style of employee management.  All of the employees are called ‘cast members’.  From the Kilt Kareers (?) page:

The Tilted Kilt is always looking for talented and service-oriented cast members. We’re casting the rolls of: Tilted Kilt Girl, Tilted Kilt Host and Tilted Kilt Bartender in new and existing sports pubs now.

Bottom line: we don’t have to abide by any equal opportunity loaws because we are casting a role not hirin– fuck it NO UGGOS ALLOWED!  Dude, unless I’m at dinner theater I don’t want a ‘cast member’ serving me food.  No, fuck that, even at a dinner theater I don’t want a fucking cast member serving my food.  You (pointing at actor), act. You (pointing at waitress), serve food.  Don’t want to eat there… unless they show Pay per views, I guess.

38 thoughts on “Cast ‘Member’

  1. Funny dude. Scubby invited us to eat there during volleyball. He went with silky on Friday night. And more evidence that we should not order expensive ppv’s because we get too drunk and miss everything, scubby told us about it at your house when we were playing craps. He wasn’t impressed.

    If you need some ppv reminders here is good old jr’s take. It’s long but I liked it:

    http://www.bloodyelbow.com/2008/8/10/590933/wwe-s-jim-ross-complete-br

  2. Good night all. Cal, expect a cal. I might need some fantasy baseball help. I’m off to the UP for a week with Kcar and oneil. Oneil is already up living off canned sardines and playing $2 craps. His last text was “bring a can opener” and then all was silent.

    Whazz on.

  3. Cal, be ready. You might need to check in on Brian’s team and my team. We will send message via passenger pigeon tonight.

  4. Anyone heard of this? http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/

    It is interesting. I am not sure how I feel about it. Much of what he says white people like I do indeed like. But I am a white person so that makes sense right? People are getting mad about it and when they do he says, “So you don’t like mass generalizations about your race applied to you individually, I think I know some people who know how you feel.” I suppose that is one way to make people more empathetic.

  5. Some guy just did a Dick Move on the bike path and almost ran over a biker. The biker screamed obscenities as the Dick Mover sped off. I guess I see some interesting things happen from my window. So, uh, does that go on the list of things white people like?

  6. oh yeah just that i saw that movie pinapple express and only give it one thumb up. also about the olympics my pal is running on the 18 womens 1500 watch out olympic dudes! her name is shannon rowbury. that is all

  7. i like mayo, also, the san francisco, the new yorker, new york, tea, npr, and all that other white shit too. hollarit!

  8. not the sanfransico just san francisco. my mind melded for a second because i’m awesome and can think lots of things at once. want to hear what i’m thinking right at this exact very second? basketball/ television/ food/ marbles/ books/ dogs/ potatoes… vincent van gough…. beach

  9. we should see high syncro scores for cal’s latest posts… however, we see him pausing, obviously thinking of greg, but unable to own those emotions. a little more splash, that’s the only difference.

  10. how about those chinese syncro divers!?!? pretty cool. hey i want to upgrade my one thumb for pinapple express… the guy who isn’t seth rogan is really pretty great… one and one half thumbs. ONE AND ONE HALF THUMBS!

  11. quick hello from the north. all phones were out yesterday in the up. you can check google news if you don’t believe me. sardines were et. end transmission.

  12. Hey Cla-
    What you mean that I am not paying close attention to whazzmaster? did someone already post about the white people thing? If so- sorry for the repeat. If not FU cal!

    Wwhazz is out of the state and parker and I are partying-
    P A R T Y

  13. >> So for the collector – what are the key things you need to know?

    That Vintage Guitar collectors are fucking idiots.

  14. i left a comment on vintage loser.com’s website, and fucker deleted it.

    cal, you sort of look like that chinese girl diver. except less masculine.

  15. Hi I’m Ed Dale. I’ve defined the passion of my life entirely in the last 4 years. I also have an internet connection. VINTAGE!

  16. If I had access to flying monkeys I would set them loose on this guy’s life. Picking up a latte at Starbucks? Flying monkey poopin in your coffee. Having sex with his wife? Flying monkey pooping in her mouth. Playing his vintage guitars? Flying monkey poopin in the little hole in his guitar… and in his mouth.

  17. why not have the monkeys fuck his wife and pour hot coffee on her face? i hate old guitars SO MUCH.

  18. wow…. i did 4 more seconds of research on ed dale… how can you make fun of a guy that runs a website called tubbynerd.com? you win ed. go sit on a whammy bar.

  19. yo whazzzzm, if you hate that kilt place so much, why not just go and be super rude to all the cast members? i’d never insult a waitress, but i’ll heckle the shit out of a show. if no one wants to work there, it doesn’t exist. you have the power to stop it. if you wait…….. i don’t want want to think about what will happen if you wait.

    so the second the waitress opens her mouth, cut her off… “WHY DONT YOU GET ME A BEER?” “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?” “I DIDN’T SAY I WANTED CHICKEN WINGS, I WANTED BUFFALO WINGS.” “YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK ALL OF THIS, I’M OUT OF HERE” and don’t pay for the beer. then punch the next person you see in the face.

  20. 34-6…. arron rodgers… more like sucky loser. to the 49ers… somewhere that tiny little slywatersam or whatever the fuck is dancing around with her pussy dripping.

  21. Sickle cell is an anemia, scientist. Ya heard?!?!!??!

    And her name was stewedtomatoesally and her husband was saltwatersteve.

    Last night I listened to the brewer game and watched the packers with no sound. I also folded laundry and played poker. I was highly entertained on many levels. Then I made a steak fuhjitas.

    Took 2nd in a 6.50 sng. Heads up with us about even at 6k and the blinds at 100-200 I raised preflop w/ AKs he called and the flop was 352. He checked and I bet 600. He came over the top a thou and I pushed. He had 46. Pfffffffffffffffffffftttt!

    I then did a 11 180-man terrrrrrrrrbo and took like 90th. Fold, fold, fold, fold for the first 1/2 hour and then call an all in w/ AK. Dude has AJs and makes a flush.

    Busted out of a $8.80 multi w a trillion people with AQ losing to KJ in a whatever hand.

    Overall lame poker. Boring moslty. Fold, fold, fold, fold, fold, die.

    Brewer game was good though.

  22. One of the specialty shots at the Tilted Kilt is called a “Scottish Orgasm.”

    When greg was in the restroom, cal ordered him a scottish orgasm as a joke. Har, har har said greg and then he drank it.

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