My Busted-Ass Website

I see that the few dedicated hobo-lovers that still post here are up in arms over the lack of updates.  Sorry holmes, but a melancholia has set in as my world crumbles around me.  Everything’s right-as-rain on the home front– I couldn’t love my little peanut any more than I do– but aside from that the world is falling to dust.

Brewers: ousted. Badger football: balls.  Packers: meh. My parlay cards: BAD!  My weight: high.  My bank account: low.  My ebay feedback rating: so-so.  My craigslist want ad: unanswered. My gainful employment: perhaps running out.  My stock options: worthless.

Which is not to say that I had a bad 30th birthday.  Spacebee did a wonderful job of tricking the living shit out of me.  I am so stupid, I was on the Booze Cruise and still not eating anything because I didn’t want to spoil my appetite for the non-forthcoming dinner at the Tornado Room.  The birthday tailgate was besieged by legions and legions of bees but we made the best of it.  Thirty people: one stung, which is pretty good, but the one was a small child which wasn’t so great.  He rubbed some metaphorical dirt on it and was on his way, though.  Someday I’ll actually have all the pictures I took up on Flickr, and when that happens I’ll post a link in comments.  Thanks to all who came (not you, CAL).  Props and slops.

I’m thinking of buying a years supply of food. Can’t be too careful, seeing as America’s GDP now hovers somewhere around $12.50 + gratuity.  Am I a paranoid sonuvabitch? Yes, most assuredly.  But I also worried about a housing bust a-way back in 2005, and worried about the stock market a-way back in January 2008.   Sometimes a paranoid motherfucker is right about shit.  Sometimes.

I know you all come here solely for my wit and motherfucking wisdom, so I’ll try to post more.  That is, if the mole men haven’t taken over the country yet of course.

28 thoughts on “My Busted-Ass Website

  1. About the hobo wars– in the Penny Arcade game a good portion of the action takes place in Hobo Alley, and you have to fight The King of the Hobos as the boss. All in all, pretty good.

  2. $50 for that denon receiver?! didn’t you pay over $500 for that? those seem like super low prices… like too low. like i’m afraid you stole them so i’ll find someone else asking more reasonable higher prices. even with normal wear i’d expect to pay over $400 for all that. i’d buy it but i like using this thing with headphones to watch movies. alas, then the neighbors get so used to not hearing anything that they start complaining about me closing my front door. i had to lay some smack down on a bitch. an old bitch. i called her old. that is the extent of the ultimately successful smacking. so furious. do you even understand the level of respect i am giving you old bitch? and you want more?! (*!#^%(!*#%^(*&#@)

  3. My “Selling Shit Online” Theory is, unless I’m strapped for a specific amount of cash, price the shit so low that (a.) I don’t have to haggle and (b) someone will immediately buy it and take it out of my life. Yeah, I bought all that shit for $3000, but I never use it anymore; all my game systems are hooked directly to my TV now since they all use HDMI cables which that receiver doesn’t support. And true to form, I already have two people clamoring for the receiver, which surprises me since I expected the Bose speakers to go instantly.

  4. I also need to buy a gun, but my fearful companion insists I’ll kill myself with it at the first opportunity. She’s probably wrong.

  5. that is why cal wanted you to lose the swords, homie. one bad day of too many compiler errors and off by one logic that you fall on it.

  6. my GOOG buy would have netted 15% in 4 hours. i have never been more sure about short term return on an investment. dumb not to place the order.

  7. I got two bb guns, a sling shot and a couple of butterfly knives. I also know how to make napalm and shit like works bombs.

    So I’m pretty safe, I think.

  8. My herb garden made a shit ton on basil and mint, so I can live off that. Also, my ‘hood is lousy with squirrels and rabbits.

    Yesterday I saw a squirrel biff a jump and fall into the street. First time I ever saw one screw up. He hit the ground pretty hard, but he recovered and ran back up the tree.

  9. Well, I guess it’s nice to know ahead of time that all my so-called ‘friends’ would murder me for a can of Turkey Tetrazzini.

  10. i was wondering how i would stay alive and i have decided i pobably would not be able to. i have no herbs and the store on the corner would be looted clean long before i worked up the nerve to loot myself. plus i would have only my wits on which rely in loot. wits are poor looting weapons. i have no others weapons. i could slam drawers on looters fingers if my drawers were being looted. i’m doomed.

  11. that food doesn’t seem like such a good deal. ends up being $21 per can. i think you can get similar cans at sam’s club / costco for similar prices and then you get to only buy the ones you like instead of the variety pack.

    the solution to everyone’s problem is goat breeding.

  12. Reruns!

    I’ll take it. Thanks, amy.

    “i’ve been drunk my entire life. is my life null and void then?”

  13. If you google “lose the swords” you will see that Cal started something special… FOR ONCE IN HIS DAMN LIFE.

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