A Random Funny

I could probably put this in a comment, buT AS I am trying to post more frequently– here you go: BLAMMO! That link will take you to a page-or-so review of a video game called King’s Bounty.  The review is very, very funny as apparently the game was designed and built by a cadre of madmen.

I heard a rumor about your Thanksgiving plans, madd.  This should be pretty fun, take some pictures.

Er, anyone have any fun news?

83 thoughts on “A Random Funny

  1. Ignorantia legis neminem excusat, mother fucker. They teach you that in the first two seconds of law school, don’t they? I want the guy who wrote this artiCAL/sob story about the race and every pinko bastard who supports Arien O’Connell to get raped by Joe the Plummer, contract AIDS and die.

    A bunch of idiots agreed to race. At no time was Arien O’Connell prohibited from participating in this race. Ready, set, go. They raced. Some lady crossed the finish line first. She was the winner. The end. Later, Arien O’Connell ran a different race. She ran it in a faster time than the winner OF THE RACE THAT WAS ALREADY OVER. So what? What if some hobo with a shopping cart ran the same course later that night with an even faster time? Is hobo sprinter the new even more fantastic winner of the race THAT IS ALREADY OVER!??!?!?! Rules are rules and if you are too stupid to follow them, then that is your problem. I too think that all governing bodies are 100% corrupt, but 90% of all people governed are 100% idiot. Cal, tell me you do not support this lady.

  2. I think wwhazz is right– the optics are weird because of how they do rolling starts in races, so its not like the elites ran from 8a-10a and the normals ran from 11a-2p. It seems like they were on the same course at roughly the same time so why shouldn’t this lady get her cheap plastic trophy! But they have another quote from some race-manager in Chicago where the exact same thing happened, and that guy didn’t get his glory either. The worst part of the artiCAL was this quote:

    “That’s pretty weak,” said Jon Hendershott, associate editor of the authoritative Track and Field News magazine, based in Mountain View. “Think of the PR they could have had with this girl coming out of nowhere. It sounds like they got caught totally off guard.”

    No, they didn’t. And having your primary contrarian source quote involve the words “that’s pretty weak” doesn’t help your cause, dumbass.

    CAL– I donated to KIVA. I hope you’re happy.

  3. I’m never donating to the NIKE MARATHON FUND– they force teen girls to make shoes 25 hours a day. Fuck them.

  4. horay for whazzmaster! horay for kiva! dude it’s not a donation its a LOAN!!! where did your loan go? this just in from nike:

    Nike is announcing today that it recognizes Arien O’Connell as a winner in last weekend’s Nike Women’s Marathon with the fastest chip time, completing the full race in 2:55:11. She shattered her previous time and achieved an amazing accomplishment.

    Arien will receive the same recognition and prize, including a Tiffany bowl, the full marathon elite group winner received. Arien was unfortunately not immediately recognized as a race winner because she did not start the race with the elite running group, which is required by USATF standards. Because of their earlier start time, the runners in the elite group had no knowledge of the outstanding race Arien was running and could not adjust their strategies accordingly.

    Learning from the unique experience in this year’s race, Nike has decided today to eliminate the elite running group from future Nike Women’s Marathons. Next year, all runners will run in the same group and all will be eligible to win.

    Nike has a proven track record of supporting athletes and we’re proud to be able to honor Arien and other athletes who surpass their goals and achieve great accomplishments.

    Michael
    Nike

  5. Way to fucking puss out Nike.

    “which is required by USATF standards. Because of their earlier start time, the runners in the elite group had no knowledge of the outstanding race Arien was running and could not adjust their strategies accordingly.”

    GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

  6. Now I’m in love with cal. This day has been weird.

    First, I got up at 4 am and drove my dad to o’hare.
    Next, on my ride from o’hare to work in Janesville, I saw a coyote!
    Then, I stopped at a diner and took an hour to eat omelets and read the paper.
    Finally I came to work and did NOTHING but whazz and look for suspected plagiarists but using google.

    The best parts of my day thus far: 1) the coyote 2) having my wisdom make the paper.

    Worst: 1) Nike pussing out because of some muckraker and cal 2) whazz love w/cal.

  7. If Nike really thinks they did something wrong, they would take the real “winner’s” prize and give to the faker. Making them both winners is a total bs PR move that undermines the spirit of competition. Everyone is a winner weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! No. It was a race. With rules. There can be only one winner.

  8. Wirkus lived in Milwaukee after graduating from UW-Madison and said she got a sense fewer people were looking out for pedestrians there.

    “It made me realize that Madison was good — that people in Madison do look out for pedestrians,” she said.

    Now, if she could get them to do that at the treacherous intersection she faces daily, she’d really be happy.

    “A couple times, I’ve said, ‘Well, it’s my right, I’m just going to walk,'” she said. “And that’s when my husband says, ‘Well, when you get hurt, you tell me how you like that plan.'”

    Oh man, dude’s hateful rejoinder to his wife made the Cap Times.

  9. wow… no lie… i’m nude.

    what if during the elite group race the wind was in their faces the whole time going uphill, but ariana o’cheaterton caught a magiCAL tail wind the whole time?

    if they do staged starts anyways, how is that different than the 30 minute difference? why do runners recognize nike’s right to make the rules? just because of that gay prefontaine movie? because of nike air windbreakers?

    way to play the papes bg! HUSTLE

  10. http://www.usatf.org/about/rules/2008/

    I guess this was all for fun, cal, and not, you know, REGULATED COMPETITION.

    What if the elite group had to stop for a train (be it choo choo, hobos with shopping carts or gay men stuck together)? What if the elite group stopped to do CPR on some fool who got a cue ball stuck in their mouth?

    As the former commissioner of an air hockey league and an instructor who has to spell out every tiny detail in my syllabus to try and prevent dumb ass excuses (hint doesn’t work: syllabus gets longer every semester due to re-explanations), I am enraged by this story. I’m so glad this bitch is a 5th grade teacher. Someday her retarded students will grow up to be retarded non-rule following adults just like their POS teacher. Cal, this story is making me want to say bad things about jews just to get you enraged. This day started out so great: I SAW A FREAKIN URBAN COYOTE and now this. I hope someone famous that you (cal) like dies.

  11. Runners expend energy at the start of a race as they jostle for position: T or F?
    A higher level of competition equals more strenuous jostling: Tor F?
    If the above is true, than an “elite” runner who runs with non-elite runners has an advantage over an “elite” runner who runs with other “elite” runners: T or F?
    O’Connell is a Jew masquerading as an Irish man like O’Neil: T or F?

  12. I really hate that the newspaper describes her as modest. BS. Want modest? Check the Old Man and the Sea. That MF was modest. Did he go cry to some SF reporter or beg for some shit from Nike after his fish got et? Nope. He just went home. He was the best; he knew it. That’s all he needed.

  13. the old man from the sea didn’t have a wife making commands after suggesting he is going to get hurt. what if he did?

  14. you better have enough energy to fuck me after you hook onto some beast you’ll never get back to shore and you’ll probably die.

  15. nike is trying to define “elite” as “runners who will not play the jostle game”.

    BS. the tiffany crystal bowl (who the fuck wants that?) will go to the jostlest. reebok pumps were awesome.

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