79 thoughts on “Knowhatimean?

  1. 255 then, 2^8 motherfuckers. After UFC 255, they’ll either have to quit or have Dana spring for that Super Nintendo.

    I hate to bet on mortality rates, but there we go. Was that for a twankie? I booked several bets: Over 500 deaths due to Pig Sniffles, Brewers vs Cubs season series, Packers vs Vikings better record at the end of the season. If Favre signs with the Vikes I could be a pussy and try to argue no contest but fuck it, we’ll beat that 90 year old man and his 100 year old arm.

    Brewers keep ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN (undertaker bike style). Tonight Cincy’s gonna be like “Stop” and Brewers will be like “No.”

  2. My bed done broke yesterday. You’d think it would have been awesome like when I was having sex, but really I just sat down on it. Good thing that dumb ol’ cat wasn’t under there. Well, that Ikea POS lasted 4 years. Ok, I guess.

  3. popeyes is going for the kill too… i love it. i used to see like 1 popeyes ad a week. now 3 a day. all for their 2 piece boneless meal combo deals for $2.99.

    LOUISIANA!

    fuck a kfc.

  4. fun fact: i haven’t had fried chicken in months. i’m just a robble rouser.

    also, cal sucks

  5. i don’t understand why kanye would regret the lyric? did his moms catch the pig sniffles? does he have SARS now?

  6. Kristy’s shittin’ all over our boy rank on twitter: “@whazzmaster No one chooses Frank Norris over Chuck Norris. No one”

    Get her.

  7. oh, the don.

    last night I was playing some online poker and I had a few bad beats so I was gonna close up shop and go to bed. It must have been around 10:30p; when I got up to leave my brother said, “Hey, can you leave that so I can play?”

    “On my account?” I said, knowing full well he didn’t have his own account– at least not one with money in it.

    “Yeah, if I lose any I’ll pay you back when I get paid on Saturday,” he responded.

    I agreed and let him have the computer. We both noted that there was $135 in the account before he started. I then slept, if somewhat fitfully.

    When I awoke this morning I was checking some news sites when my mom said, “You know your brother was up all night playing poker.”

    “Wow,” I said, “he must have done rather well. Let’s check the account.”

    Upon logging on to my Pokerroom account I was greeted with the following:

    MY BROTHER LEFT 2 CENTS IN MY ACCOUNT!

    the end.

    the end.

  8. hey it’s so late!! *finals cry*

    hey i wanted to let you know about this email i got. send this woman your money. she used to me married to a tycoon and something happened and anyway she needs your money. i think if you send her money you will get money back. anyway dude it’s so late! i am like the skeezer! hey look at me whazzing at night like the skeezer bladdy bla bladday bla hey is that a fish on the river? fold!

    Dearly Beloved,

    I am Lady Ruth Latsis suffering from cancerous ailment. I am married to
    Sir Silas Latsis,a shipping tycoon notable for his great wealth,
    influential extended family, and charitable activities all his life
    before his death. Our life together as man and wife lasted for three
    decades without child. My husband died after a protracted illness in April
    17, 2005.

    My husband and I made a vow to uplift the down-trodden and the
    less-privileged individuals as he had passion for persons who can not help
    themselves due to physical disability or financial predicament.I can
    adduce this to the fact that he needed a Child from our wedlock which
    never came.

    When my late husband was alive he had a lot of investments in the capital
    market(stocks and bonds valued at over $5 Million). Consequent upon his
    demise this stocks were transferred solely to me.

    Recently, my Doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to the
    cancerous problems I am suffering from though what bothers me most is the
    stroke that I have in addition to the cancer.

    With this hard reality that has befallen me,i have decided to distribute
    this stocks to persons in need,orphanages and motherless babies homes. I
    have chosen you as one of the beneficiaries hence,i have decided to give
    you $5 Million worth of my stocks and i want you to use this gift which
    comes from my husbands effort to better your lot,fund the upkeep of
    widows,orphans, destitute, the down- trodden, physically challenged
    children,barren-women and persons who prove to be genuinely handicapped
    financially around you. It is often said that blessed is the hand that
    giveth.

    I took this decision because I do not have any child that will inherit
    this money and my husband relatives are bourgeois and very wealthy persons
    and I do not want my husband’s hard earned money to be misused or invested
    into ill perceived ventures. I do not want a situation where this money
    will be used in a worldly manner, hence the reason for taking this bold
    decision.

    I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going.I do not need any
    telephone communication in this regard due to my deteriorating health and
    because of the presence of my husbands relatives around me as i am
    currently bedridden in the Family house and do not receive any visitors
    unless approved by the immediate younger brother to my late husband.I do
    not want them to know about this development in order to safeguard this
    bequest.

    I have authorized my Private Attorney Gavan Connolly in the UK whom i
    communicate with via emails everyday,to issue a Letter of Authority in
    your favor to the Security Company handling this stocks and this will
    empower you as the beneficiary of this fund,he would also endorse my WILL
    where i will include your name as one of my beneficiaries. My happiness is
    that I lived a life worthy of emulation. Please always be kind hearted all
    through your life.

    I want you to immediately contact my Attorney through his email
    gavanconnolly001@live.com and provide for him all that he may require to
    finalize this arrangement, please make sure to maintain a confidential and
    Cordial relationship with him even in my absence because he is a very
    Trust worthy and caring person. Please assure me that you will act just as
    I have stated herein.

    Hope to hear from you soon, it is well with you and members of your family.
    Ensure to keep this very confidential for security reasons until the funds
    are safe in your posses ion

    With Love,

    Lady Ruth Latsis

  9. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 hence,i have decided to give
    you $5 Million worth of my stocks!! :b :8

    WE’RE RICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. Major bad luck for Lady Ruth:

    “Recently, my Doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to the cancerous problems I am suffering from though what bothers me most is the stroke that I have in addition to the cancer.”

  11. The cancer aint SHIT; it’s the blasted stroke. Help Lady Ruth out. She will thank you out the side of her mouth.

  12. i like lady ruth, and i feel sorry for her, but her blasted email is too long. i couldn’t get through it. next time, lady ruth, if you want me to follow through with something, make it short and sweet. i can’t follow all that hullablaloo about children’s orphaniges etc. too long.

  13. The letter derives its rhetorical power from the length. Those long winding sentences short circuit even the most logical mind.

  14. not ours: smart enough to ignore the irrelevant. cut losses. like dropping out of law school during last semester.

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