My cat has developed a habit of winking at me.
255 then, 2^8 motherfuckers. After UFC 255, they’ll either have to quit or have Dana spring for that Super Nintendo.
I hate to bet on mortality rates, but there we go. Was that for a twankie? I booked several bets: Over 500 deaths due to Pig Sniffles, Brewers vs Cubs season series, Packers vs Vikings better record at the end of the season. If Favre signs with the Vikes I could be a pussy and try to argue no contest but fuck it, we’ll beat that 90 year old man and his 100 year old arm.
Brewers keep ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN (undertaker bike style). Tonight Cincy’s gonna be like “Stop” and Brewers will be like “No.”
My bed done broke yesterday. You’d think it would have been awesome like when I was having sex, but really I just sat down on it. Good thing that dumb ol’ cat wasn’t under there. Well, that Ikea POS lasted 4 years. Ok, I guess.
“OOh girl your breath is harsh/cover your mouth up like you got SARS.”
Regretting that temporal joke now, Kanye?
21 folds in the clip. make my dick drip.
flippy flip flip. quip
riots and sit-ins while KFC refuses to honor coupons promoted by oprah
WOW. KFC: you are dead to me.
lets get that 2 piece at POPPPPPPPPPEYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEES
popeyes is going for the kill too… i love it. i used to see like 1 popeyes ad a week. now 3 a day. all for their 2 piece boneless meal combo deals for $2.99.
fuck a kfc.
fun fact: i haven’t had fried chicken in months. i’m just a robble rouser.
also, cal sucks
i don’t understand why kanye would regret the lyric? did his moms catch the pig sniffles? does he have SARS now?
Kristy’s shittin’ all over our boy rank on twitter: “@whazzmaster No one chooses Frank Norris over Chuck Norris. No one”
That is to say “our boy Frank”. Frank Norris? Remember him? POLLY WOLLY DOODLE ALL THE DAY!
oh, the don.
last night I was playing some online poker and I had a few bad beats so I was gonna close up shop and go to bed. It must have been around 10:30p; when I got up to leave my brother said, “Hey, can you leave that so I can play?”
“On my account?” I said, knowing full well he didn’t have his own account– at least not one with money in it.
“Yeah, if I lose any I’ll pay you back when I get paid on Saturday,” he responded.
I agreed and let him have the computer. We both noted that there was $135 in the account before he started. I then slept, if somewhat fitfully.
When I awoke this morning I was checking some news sites when my mom said, “You know your brother was up all night playing poker.”
“Wow,” I said, “he must have done rather well. Let’s check the account.”
Upon logging on to my Pokerroom account I was greeted with the following:
MY BROTHER LEFT 2 CENTS IN MY ACCOUNT!
i wish i could upon log in to my pokerroom account 🙁
pokerroom was the shit
hey it’s so late!! *finals cry*
hey i wanted to let you know about this email i got. send this woman your money. she used to me married to a tycoon and something happened and anyway she needs your money. i think if you send her money you will get money back. anyway dude it’s so late! i am like the skeezer! hey look at me whazzing at night like the skeezer bladdy bla bladday bla hey is that a fish on the river? fold!
I am Lady Ruth Latsis suffering from cancerous ailment. I am married to
Sir Silas Latsis,a shipping tycoon notable for his great wealth,
influential extended family, and charitable activities all his life
before his death. Our life together as man and wife lasted for three
decades without child. My husband died after a protracted illness in April
My husband and I made a vow to uplift the down-trodden and the
less-privileged individuals as he had passion for persons who can not help
themselves due to physical disability or financial predicament.I can
adduce this to the fact that he needed a Child from our wedlock which
When my late husband was alive he had a lot of investments in the capital
market(stocks and bonds valued at over $5 Million). Consequent upon his
demise this stocks were transferred solely to me.
Recently, my Doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to the
cancerous problems I am suffering from though what bothers me most is the
stroke that I have in addition to the cancer.
With this hard reality that has befallen me,i have decided to distribute
this stocks to persons in need,orphanages and motherless babies homes. I
have chosen you as one of the beneficiaries hence,i have decided to give
you $5 Million worth of my stocks and i want you to use this gift which
comes from my husbands effort to better your lot,fund the upkeep of
widows,orphans, destitute, the down- trodden, physically challenged
children,barren-women and persons who prove to be genuinely handicapped
financially around you. It is often said that blessed is the hand that
I took this decision because I do not have any child that will inherit
this money and my husband relatives are bourgeois and very wealthy persons
and I do not want my husband’s hard earned money to be misused or invested
into ill perceived ventures. I do not want a situation where this money
will be used in a worldly manner, hence the reason for taking this bold
I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going.I do not need any
telephone communication in this regard due to my deteriorating health and
because of the presence of my husbands relatives around me as i am
currently bedridden in the Family house and do not receive any visitors
unless approved by the immediate younger brother to my late husband.I do
not want them to know about this development in order to safeguard this
I have authorized my Private Attorney Gavan Connolly in the UK whom i
communicate with via emails everyday,to issue a Letter of Authority in
your favor to the Security Company handling this stocks and this will
empower you as the beneficiary of this fund,he would also endorse my WILL
where i will include your name as one of my beneficiaries. My happiness is
that I lived a life worthy of emulation. Please always be kind hearted all
through your life.
I want you to immediately contact my Attorney through his email
email@example.com and provide for him all that he may require to
finalize this arrangement, please make sure to maintain a confidential and
Cordial relationship with him even in my absence because he is a very
Trust worthy and caring person. Please assure me that you will act just as
I have stated herein.
Hope to hear from you soon, it is well with you and members of your family.
Ensure to keep this very confidential for security reasons until the funds
are safe in your posses ion
Lady Ruth Latsis
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 hence,i have decided to give
you $5 Million worth of my stocks!! :b :8
WAIT A SECOND… “down- trodden” who hyphenates down trodden? THIS IS A SCAM!
Private Attorney Gavan Connolly checks out.
His fantasy football (UK) skills were recently rewarded with a gigantic check.
Major bad luck for Lady Ruth:
“Recently, my Doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to the cancerous problems I am suffering from though what bothers me most is the stroke that I have in addition to the cancer.”
in ADDITION to the cancer
The cancer aint SHIT; it’s the blasted stroke. Help Lady Ruth out. She will thank you out the side of her mouth.
Gavin may have blown through that lordly check.
Cancerous problems are a bitch
i like lady ruth, and i feel sorry for her, but her blasted email is too long. i couldn’t get through it. next time, lady ruth, if you want me to follow through with something, make it short and sweet. i can’t follow all that hullablaloo about children’s orphaniges etc. too long.
The letter derives its rhetorical power from the length. Those long winding sentences short circuit even the most logical mind.
not ours: smart enough to ignore the irrelevant. cut losses. like dropping out of law school during last semester.
Guess I gotta make a Brewers cheer button too
Here is a promo for the Super Hulk Tournamnet. It’s a bit long but well worth it. This is a real event:
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