Straight Outta Colo

So I’m posting this on my phone from a Queen cover band concert in Vail. I got Spacebees sickness and I feel like shit. Having bronchial problems at 8000 feet ain’t my idea of a splendiferous vacation, but I’m trying to make the best of it. Got myself a new cowboy hat and I’ve been on top of a mountain. On the downside I think I broke my fancy-pants camera; it still takes pictures but it sounds like the world is ending when I do it.

Yesterday we had Family Fun Day at the local park, and now my shoulder is killing me from throwing frisbees and softballs around.

I suppose the one thing I can say about this joint is that I’ve had really good ice cream and fish tacos (not at the same time).

On the other hand, this is where truly rich motherfuckers go to flaunt their wealth, which is kinda disgusting. The summer crowd is a bit less pretentious than the winter one (I hear) which kinda makes me wonder: at what point do long-haired trust fund punks cause a singularity that implodes all of Colorado to a point one perfectly coiffed hair wide?

58 thoughts on “Straight Outta Colo

  1. i will try and see moon.

    last movie i’ve seen i was excited about was “visioneers”… only because recently some zach galifinakis fan club email newsletter offered me a free dvd if i set up a screening party… i thought that was overly generous, so i signed up, but they were going to publish my address, so i backed out. 2 days later they send reminder email. i don’t do it. next day the movie is available on netflix watch instantly. it says it was 2007 release, but i never remember hearing about it. it’s very hard to see the movie as entertainment, but that’s only due to ZG’s commitment to the role. it’s like office space without being a little cheesy.

  2. hey everybody! yours truly vs wwhzzy (aka the weasel) in fantasy baseball… last time he got totally creamed… opinions? there are 12 categories… i say

    CAL WINS: 9
    W WINS : 2
    Tie: 1

    person closest wins a story written about them on whazzmaster by me. you can print it and save it for posterity. it will have to do with you stealing my smart car… but that’s all i’m saying… good luck!

  3. oh man he’s off to a huge start… but, as we all know, he will falter and i will prevail… right now it’s 8/2/2 him but whatever it’s only day one of seven… DEATH TO INVADERS!

  4. haven’t seen hard 8 yet…. classic rachel moved all of hers to the top, and still had the balls to complain that i added a movie.

    she got 7 pounds. it sucked. at least i’m watching them in numerical order.

  5. while out walking the dogs i ran into a small chinese family… a mother and her daughter and son. the kids were like 11ish and talked in pitch perfect privileged LA valley accents. the boy said to his sister “all america girls look the same”. the sister quickly corrected him, “no they don’t.”

    a chinaman said all american girls look the same. even my dogs smiled.

  6. we will all be in the Upper Penis that week. doubt we can find a place to watch, but I will drive 2.1 hours to see this PPV. Kenny vs BJ and Forest vs Anderson Silva. Hell Yeah!

  7. i just bought the most badass domain name ever:

    FUCK IT. we’re going BACK.

    if you want a beta account, holler twice

  8. maybe i’ll develop the brand.

    i could sponsor fighters, and improve on the shiny silver and gold tshirt application techniques. they aren’t beasts… they are men. but their trainers are working with them. working towards their ultimate goal. working on becoming demesticated.

  9. check again nick nack.

    i figure might as well start as domesticated as you can get, and work from there.

  10. one day when the man decides caging my soul isn’t worth it anymore those sites will both be published. for now they symlinked to the same generic site that mames the domain the title and tirdhat the welcome wagon.

  11. ps 6-4 me, note he’s stopped ranting about his team. while monday brought the promise of a new week and fresh hope, thursday brings with it the realization of mortality, by saturday he will bow down in awe to the might of Cal’s Baseball Fantasy Glory. A blend of speed and power unmatched throught the universe. mooooooooooooooooooon.

  12. I saw that too. Dudes were doing a polka in bernie’s little house. It was so weird that my brain rejected the memory. Thanks for bringing it up.

  13. And mr. floppy brown shit hat, I’ve been gone the last two days. My team is great, your team sucks nuts.

  14. i say all that stuff too, if you don’t belive me i will murk you or whatever. so jerkus beat me 6-5. WHAT ever. i let him just so he wouldn’t feel bad about his lousy team. bladdybluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu anybody see moon? anybody disbelieve the moon landing? i mean this is the internet afterall should we be discussing this?

  15. It took all my fantasy skillz, but I got him 6-5. I cal-ed him to get his response to my Garland complete game, but techni-cal difficulties with the smart phone got in the way. I hope he can work his smart car better than he works his smart phone.

  16. Also: I’ll talk about Moon in 6 months when it comes out on DVD.

    Pros of movies at home: booze, dog, wife, ability to pause, food, no smelly strangers.

    Pros of movies at movies: it’s bigger.

    I choo, choo, choose home.

  17. Fuck it. Maybe I’ll have my students write a comparison/contrast between Miss March’s MC Horsecock.mpeg and Beer’s Skrillionaire.

  18. i think thats the whole point of tucker max… he’s an asshole. who wouldn’t hate him? do you want him dead, or just hear about how he died, which you can safely assume would be ridiculous… or obvious… girl he made fun of’s husband shot him with crossbow. he’ll probably make money on this, but he was a voice of internet distribution opposed to established publishing houses… then he takes $300k to write a paperback book and produces a movie under the MPAA. the only thing internet about that is and it looks like this movie includes the scene where tucker shits himself while running near naked through a hotel lobby… the image in my head matches exactly… RIDICULOUSLY EXACTLY to the shot in the trailer. the lighting was perfect. hopefully they captured the texture and spread pattern of the feces. this version of the trailer has to be rated G… i still was disappointed. more skrillionaire.

  19. I’m anxious to see if the fictional Skrillionaire matches the Skrillionaire in Madd’s mind. Nice to see one of the neologisms stuck.

  20. god damn it, yesterday i thought i posted details about how wanting tucker to be dead is the entire point of a tucker. it was probably marked as spam, because i tried to post it again and it said duplicate comment. i hate this wordpress junk. pure junk. build that shit straight up. listen on port 80 and spawn a kid, then processeseroo and spit some html. i hate platforms running on platforms. there should be only 1 platform.

  21. Fuck Tucker Max; if that hump can’t put his garbage out anywhere but MySpace, he’s fucked. I don’t have no fucking MySpace account– fuck that, fuck him, and fuck the pale shadow of my friend that he’s using to get rich.

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