Straight Outta Colo

So I’m posting this on my phone from a Queen cover band concert in Vail. I got Spacebees sickness and I feel like shit. Having bronchial problems at 8000 feet ain’t my idea of a splendiferous vacation, but I’m trying to make the best of it. Got myself a new cowboy hat and I’ve been on top of a mountain. On the downside I think I broke my fancy-pants camera; it still takes pictures but it sounds like the world is ending when I do it.

Yesterday we had Family Fun Day at the local park, and now my shoulder is killing me from throwing frisbees and softballs around.

I suppose the one thing I can say about this joint is that I’ve had really good ice cream and fish tacos (not at the same time).

On the other hand, this is where truly rich motherfuckers go to flaunt their wealth, which is kinda disgusting. The summer crowd is a bit less pretentious than the winter one (I hear) which kinda makes me wonder: at what point do long-haired trust fund punks cause a singularity that implodes all of Colorado to a point one perfectly coiffed hair wide?

58 thoughts on “Straight Outta Colo

  1. they did myspace for the first day because they have the most unique users logging in every day. i hate using anyone else’s anything, so i agree… dumb. you have your own website, distribute it yourself. charge people $1.99 to watch the movie with no clause about public performances. if you can’t turn the same profit off that than by taking $10 a person and chopping that up to pay for a climate controlled staffed theater, then you suck. that was his message since day 1, and now he’s another cog on the fuck train.

  2. I lump tucker in with crap like my super sweet sixteen. My contact is very limited and even this limited contact is too much. This stuff is terrible.

    And I can understand the whole “love to hate it” angle. I watch wrestling and MMA and understand the need for a heel. People hate Brock Lesnar and will plop down $49.99 three times a year hoping he gets his face smashed in. Idiots will watch shows like the hills because they hate everyone on there. Great. He discovered a way to make money off of retards. Good for him.

  3. I only know dude’s art. I don’t know him. Maybe he is actually a nice person and this is all an act. His website “true stories” always struck me as the reality tv version of true.

    Content-wise, I like stuff like boozing and strip clubs and wackiness but in a different way. This whole fat chicks crap and abusing people when they pass out is just lame.

    More with art, I love madd’s art and the thought of tucker’s sensibilities mixed with madd’s ideas seems like a disaster. It makes me sadd and I think it’s a waste. It’s pretty great that there will be a film version of madd, but, in the words of JR, not like this, damn it.

  4. here is where skrillionaire fits in: the dude with the fiance… well, she finds out dude is whoring around a strip club and she fucks skrillionaire. all of the guys in the movie hate skrillionaire and think he’s worthless just like everyone on whazzmaster hates the guys in the movie and thinks they are worthless.

    the problem with making money off retards: where will they get more money? i guess that is why you need theatrical release… lots more jobs for retards.

    i think these publishing houses backroomed tucker and were like, look at this million dollars… we don’t give a fuck about it. we are either going to give it to you, and you do what we say, or you do what you want, and we’ll spend it attacking you and duplicating your efforts. choose.

    i’ve never spent money on tucker max, and never will… i got invited to the LA premier…. maybe i’ll go for the free swag bag with a pint glass and tshirt.

  5. also, i hate in the trailer where it goes “based on a true story”………. ……… . …… “UNFORTUNATELY”?

    unfortunately for who? aren’t i watching this trailer for some reason? is that reason unfortunate?

    and what the fuck does “based” mean in that context? that just seems like an asshole lawyers method of letting you know it isn’t a true story, but suggesting that maybe it is.

    pretty much i hate the whole trailer. whoever set up that turtle tank, and most turtle tanks in pet stores, know NOTHING about turtle care. they need to swim. when i buy a house… man. my turtle aquarium is going to be BALLLLLLLLLLIN’. literally. there will be ball courts in the tanks. rules will be posted in turtle language.

  6. The Madison Mallards recently held a Jeff Dowd night. He’s the real dude who inspired The Dude in Big Lebowski. Maybe you got that to look forward to.

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