Today’s science lesson: the Wildcat Formation. I’ll be shamelessly using Wikipedia as my primary source for this paper; it’s the baddest source I ever saw (like Michael Jackson’s Bad or George Thorogood’s Bad to the Bone, not bad bad.)
The Wildcat Formation is a “variation on the single-wing formation,” used in high school and college football for years but currently showing well in the NFL as well. It is heralded most directly by a direct snap to the running back.
One reason that the formation is so effective is that
the rushing play is 11-on-11 (although different variations have the running back hand off or throw the football). In a standard football formation, when the quarterback stands watching, the offense operates 10-on-11 basis. The motion also presents the defense with an immediate threat to the outside that it must respect no matter what the offense decides to do with the football.
The Miami Dolphins have had considerable success using the Wildcat, and even teams that don’t run it themselves admit that they have to spend extra time preparing the defensive plan to counter.
Now onto other news… this piece of goddamned fucking nonsense has officially replaced Daniel Hinkel (he bought me a drink at the Karaoke Kid; not a bad fellow) in the pantheon of Stupid Shit Written for a College Newspaper (2009 Edition). So in the interest of being added to yet another Enemies List somewhere in a Langdon St. efficiency, I give you Motherfucking (I Am Not Kidding) Erin Kay Van Pay:
According to Dr. Michael Farken of California’s Santa Barbara Regional Psychiatric Hospital, “Peen-Face” is a temporary physical condition that comes to fruition upon photographing a subject without their knowledge. It has serious consequences for the reputation of the victim. Peen-Face occurs when the subject’s mouth is open so far wide and in such a manner that it appears that a “peen” has either just been inside the cavity or is about to penetrate it. As the number of pic and run incidents increases, the number of Peen-Face cases increase s proportionally. Victims are typically in the background of the photograph talking, eating or playing beer pong. Lewd comments almost always follow the posting of pictures that contain this ailment.
Texas A&M freshman Sam D., 18, was shocked to find that moments after his buddy tagged a picture of him at a house party in which he had moderate Peen-Face, seven comments from three friends were posted accusing Sam of homosexuality. “My friends now think I’m gay. I was on the phone when [the picture] was taken… with my girlfriend.” Adds Sam, “Peen-Face has ruined my relationship and my life.”
Daily Cardinal: if that is supposed to be an attempt at humor, then you have failed spectacularly. You now have XPAC Heat. I hate writing GET-OFF-MY-LAWN opinions about college idiots, but when you write something so spectacularly stupid that it will probably used as a punchline in the next Funny/Stupid/Epic/Action Movie in the franchise (punctuated by someone’s dick getting exposed/hit/falling off or a fart that blow dries someone’s hair/smells/causes an explosion) it stimulates my Old Man Ganglia and I start shaking my fist at no one in particular. Stop. Just stop. Please.