P-Ville

Skeet skeet skeet skeet
Skeet skeet skeet skeet

First of all: thanks so much to the K’s in P-Ville for having me and my hobo friends up to their fine-ass country home for the weekend.  Same as before, I had a fantastic time and I always leave wishing I lived in that magical land.

The weekend was pretty chill-

  • Friday Night: hard meats (including blood sausage), cheese, smoked fish, porto (ours won 500 medals; how many has yours won?), scotch, and camo high life.
  • Saturday: The Menfolk went turkey hunting.  Us womenfolk stayed behind and did the shopping and cooking.  Cookie was on point as usual, creating a wonderful meal that included two (2) chickens in a stewpot, the best root mashers ever, sqwish, Katie’s Klever Kreen Keans (Kelicious!) and an Apple Crisp that tasted like it was cooked by a hyper-intelligent Bakery Squid from Universe X.  Alas! The Menfolk did not down a turkey, so the two (2) chickens had to suffice.  We also watched the Badgers poop all over themselves versus Iowa in the Homecoming Extravadanza.
  • Sunday: Two activities consumed the day– Shooting Things in the Backyard and Watching The Packers Kick Ass.  Both were fun as all goddamned hell (see above photo) and I hope to do both the next time we travel North to P-Ville.  We shot the effigy, shot our juice-bottle-cum-pigeon, shot cans, and in the grand finale Brian shot a full can of expanding foam.  A good time was had by all.

I hope your weekend was as fun as mine, but it probably wasn’t!

50 thoughts on “P-Ville

  1. Because you’re all gentlemen, of course.

    Also: the Esquire web site looks like a fucking clown exploded on it. C’mon Esquire, why’re you hiring blind, crazy motherfuckers to design your web site?

  2. Dicking around, found this:

    While not the most clever or lengthy in terms of WWE theme songs, the song “Sexy Boy” belonging to the Heartbreak Kid is very well known. It’s performed by Shawn Michaels himself, and features the late Sensational Sheri Martel (HBK’s former valet), making it even more memorable. This became Michaels’ main entrance theme after his departure from tag team partner, Marty Jannetty of the Rockers. This song can be found on WWE Anthology.

  3. magazine company produces shitty version of itself for alternative media….

    why? because businessmen are dicks.

    fuck esquire.

    you know what works the same and costs less than giving someone $20? telling someone you’ll give them $20, and then not giving them $20.

    full article in my new magazine: “for retards only: print edition (also available online) .com”

  4. the fact that for retards only .com is available almost makes me want to really produce this magazine. the photoshoot for the waders would be tite… my throw ups are epic. what does bi-quarterly even mean? crazy. so gangster. and teaching people to lie! who does that?! LAW SCHOOLS?!

    i can easily be bribed with gun play. i could easily fill 2 pages explaining that to a retard.

    so many retards. completely untapped resource. even walmart is only unofficially for retards only.

    RETARDS: THIS PUBLICATION IS FOR YOU. THE TITLE IS ALL THE PROOF YOU NEED. “FOR RETARDS ONLY: PRINT EDITION (ALSO AVAILABLE ONLINE) .COM”.

    page 6: 7 ways to act more retarded in bed

  5. all you 1 strike bitches are going to have to settle for stirring your sauces with your girl dicks, cause the slightly oversized spoon won’t be accessible to you, unless you are cooking in my kitchen and me or my wife or someone else me or my wife have given permission to isn’t currently using the spoon. and even then…. i really don’t want to wear it out, so maybe you can just go ahead and stir it with your girl dick anyways.

    6-0.

    you all pick like women.

  6. It’s more a lifestyle than a magazine. Have you been to the F.R.O mansion? Buy the site; let’s get to work.

  7. These google ads fascinate me. Pizza ads cornered the market, but Jimmy Johns is moving in. Also, the one for the puppet mall is nice.

  8. A word just occurred to me: “stinkbudget”. I don’t know what it would mean; the budget amount of stink that an object could exude, or the budgeted amount of stink that a person could withstand? Or something all together different?

  9. Great summary of our P-ville weekend whazzmaster. I have to admit this is the first time I’ve ever been called: hyper-intelligent Bakery Squid from Universe X.

    Also I agree with wwhazz about the musical– at first it was only ok and now I want to watch it one more time before we return the dvd we rented from your library.

  10. Toodlee doo, cal kissed greg goodbye and off he went down the streets of San Francisco. Hello, mr. homeless. May I help you with that cart? Good day to Miss Dike. You look radiant today. Did you do it yourself? Bark, bark, he said to the sealion which in sealion means care to share a bread bowl of chowder, fella?

  11. Let’s talk about Venture Brothers; the new season started on Sunday. I had previously said that those fuckers were on thin ice for me- I was sick of their backstory bullshit and tendency to give Minor Character #430 their own goddamned throne in the infinitely intricate snowflake of a universe they concocted.

    New Season Opinion: for the first time ever I wanted immediately to rewatch the episode I had just saw. It does a lot of time-manipulation lunacy, jumping back and forth between 4 different time periods, but it also (a) continues the arc from last season, (b) sets up a really interesting story for this season, and (c) jumbles the shit out of the characters but good. Also: Dean really loves Hitler and he won’t kill him because nobody understands Hitler like he does.

  12. what a cool acronym… FRO! the cover is giong to be awesome.

    i say we print through quad graphics in sussex… they have offices near the embarc in sf, so cal can handle our legal with their people down there.

    some retard is pressing some supreme court to make use of the word “retard” have the same legal ramifications as other words that now constitute a felony hate crime.

    freedom of SOME speech.

    retarded.

  13. OH NO! EVERYONE READING THIS! RUN! RUN! RUN! YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIRE!#%(*&@#%(*@#(*%^@(!*#%&^!(*#^

    NEVER LOOK BACK!***&&#&$&$^#^@^@^@^@^!%!!%!%!%!^~*@&$^$^$$($((((*(*&))()(^$^$^$^%@%@%@%@@@@@@@@@@@@@TJMAX

  14. I’m right here!!!!!!! Hahahahhaaa edrugtrader sucks!!!! Hahahahhah dude I’m doing research for this paper on prison and child support and stuff and I just came across this reentry study on 350 ex cons in colorado… Anyway they were trying to help these guys get back into society and start paying their child support and find work etc etc… Anyway one of the tactics was to conduct weekly phone interviws and I quote: respondents were given a $20 payment to maximize participation. They took a page out of the $20 ;illionaire! They greased the ex cons!

  15. Life and the hojo, hojo and life. Cal is still nothing but a bartender in a bow tie. I bet he shows up to his first day in court wearing his old uniform.

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