Cal is a Weenis

My dude is one the left
My dude is on the left

So you don’t like my post titles, eh Cal?  Then become one, wretch!

Yeah, it’s been awhile– lots of great games came out over the last month, plus I’ve been sick since last Tuesday.  Thanksgiving was tony-the-tiger grrreat but would have been way better had I not been sick.  Say lah vee.  My whole family came into town and we aprtied at our place.  Highlight: dinner at The Old Fashioned with my parents.

So as I said the games have been a flowin’. Last week I beat Assassin’s Creed II and then mopped up the last few items I needed to find to unlock secret endings and all that jazz.  AC2 was an awesome game and I’ll still go back to play it just to run around the rooftops of Venice.

I also laid the final beatdown on Borderlands two weeks ago, so now I’m max level with two playthroughs and a shotgun that deals in hot death.  I bought the first DLC that came out last week and my review: a solid meh.  The problem with it is that I’m max level, so it doesn’t progress my dude much.  The only thing left is MOAR LOOTZ and even a few hours into it I haven’t found a single usable drop from an enemy yet.  The problem with a game that has 17.5 million different guns is that it’s extraordinarily difficult to find one you want.  Once you get a really good weapon (like my 257×9 shotgun) it’s almost impossible to find anything better.  The story is ok, with some humorous parts and a good flow so far, but it’s not holding my attention very well.

Which leads us to Dragon Age.  I got my new computer hooked up so I can finally play it (and it looks goddamned beautiful), but it kinda sat there for awhile.  I went through the opening tutorial/get-the-story-kickstarted part and immediately got fucking murdered by a ton of really hard enemies.  I played that part (and wiped) five times and then I just set the difficulty to Easy mode and got on with my life.  The story is REALLY great and absorbing, but my biggest problem is that you will spend upwards of 15-20 minutes having dialog wars with other characters.  My biggest peeve is that you have to sit through 60 seconds of cinematic dialog just to talk to a damn shopkeeper to buy some health potions.  A lot of reviews have ranted and raved that they’ve been playing for 25+ hours and are still addicted; it’s easy to see why when you’re still in the tutorial stage at hour five.  I do understand what they’re saying, though, since even as I complain I want to hop back in and keep moving the story forward.

I’ll be in California next week, and fuddruckus suggested a re-edit of Cinnabar/Bee an’ Jeezy.  Maybe the night of the 12th? I don’t fly out until 7pm the next day. HOLLLLLLLAR!

29 thoughts on “Cal is a Weenis

  1. LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYY JJJENNNNNNNNNNNNNKINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

    you are totally leroy jenkins. i will send you my address. i am not a weenis.

  2. An Old Fashioned Cal Ass Kicking.

    Get my money from greg or you are both dead.

    I aint paying Von Klasenberg. I’m sick and tired of immigrants entering fantasy baseball leagues and taking the winnings from hard working Americans. THEY TOOK R JOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. Skeezer, you are upset about no knees on the ground– StrikeFARCE does not allow ELBOWS on the ground (I still really liked their last show on CBS…).

  4. Elbows on the ground = blood. Blood makes tv folk scared. Ever seen blood on Smackdown? They turn to black and white when it happens.

  5. nintendo. 64. 64!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! best. rig. ever. sega. is sega still around? commodore 64! SIXTY FOUR! wait did i make up the nintendo 64? remember when i hustled wwhzz in techmo bowl? minnesota FATS. faked the hail mary and as wwahzz ran out onto the field with his trombone i ran to the 30 and out of bounds with 1 sec to play. and a field goal for the win. perfectly executed. and with that *poof* his beard’s gone.

  6. i thought strikefarce was nbc?

    that comcast sportsnet shit… forgot what it was called, they didn’t allow elbows ANYWHERE.

    IF YOU WANT TO WATCH BOXING, WATCH BOXING@)#%&@)#(^&@)($&*@#^)(

    pussy ass fighters piss me off.

  7. BENNY HILLLLLLLLL! YES!

    i was looking for that video like a week ago and couldn’t find it…. didn’t know fighter names. i was reminiscing with rach-o over the good ol’ days of MMA without all the dumb rules… where you could tee off on a guys junk 30 times in a row and he was too stupid to let go of a choke going nowhere.

    that guy took a nut shot like a zen master.

    WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO THAT GUY?!@%?!#^%? WHO CARES!!!! NEXT FIGHT!

  8. maybe i’ll just move to thailand and find where they do those dip your hands in gluey broken glass fights.

    USA = PUSSY
    Thailand = BADASS

  9. The guy who took the nut shots like a zen master went on to play Random Task, the Oddjob spoof, in one of the Austin Powers movies. After that he led a gang rape and is now in prison.

    No idea what Keith Hackney is up to, but I wish I did.

  10. Some Wanderlei fun facts from wikipedia:

    “Silva put his Pride middleweight title on the line against Dan Henderson, Pride’s welterweight (183 lb) champion at Pride 33: The Second Coming, held on February 24, 2007, in Las Vegas, Nevada.[5] In a night of upsets, Henderson knocked out Silva in the third round with a left hook to the head to become the new middleweight champion. This fight was held under unified rules which prevent knees and kicks to the head of a downed opponent as well as having five 5 minute rounds. Many believe this hindered Silva’s ability to fully utilize his offensive arsenal. Silva was denied the ability to participate in Pride 34 due to medical suspension by the Nevada State Athletic Commission (NSAC) which made this his last Pride appearance.[6] Silva never lost under pure Pride rules at 205 pounds.”

    And

    “Wanderlei has been married for 10 years and has a 12-year-old daughter and a 4-year-old son named Thor. His daughter lives with her mother in Curitiba, Brazil.”

    Where the jkxhodfui are they keeping Thor?

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