Downhill From Here

Zach & Stacy at Big Powderhorn
Zach & Stacy at Big Powderhorn

Well, we got back safe and sound from Da Up North, Eh?  Had a ball in Bessemer with spacebee and the family.  As I mentioned earlier, we were afforded the unique opportunity to watch The Super Bowl at bucketheads in uptown Rhinelander.  They had $1.50 Miller Lites and free Hores Durves set out in back.  I drank three buckets of Jameson and then Stacy drove us ‘home’ to the Quality Inn.

I goddamned hate Super Bowl commercials.  “Here’s a talking (noun), buy our shit!”  “Here’s a wacky man-child (verbing) a (noun), buy our shit!”  “Here’s Tim Tebow, don’t get an abortion or prenatal care!”   Eat shit, Tim Tebow.

I skied for three days and fell down three times; that’s a shitload better than last year and I consider it a resounding success.  Let the mountains ring with God’s graciousness and ma-jest-fucking-ty!  We also returned to the infamous Pub N’ Grub for Thursday night karaoke.  All the old pals from last year were there and, again, by the end of the evening I was Marcus-n-Mcteague’n it with all of them.  Six dollar pitchers of Miller Lite and Jameson shots will do that, son. On the way back home I desperately wanted to go to (in order) the Watersmeet casino, the Lake of the Torches casino, and Ho-Chunk.  By the time we got south enough to consider Ho-Chunk, however, I just wanted to sleep on the couch the rest of the day. So… no Ho-Chunk.  I still owe wwhazz a night at the Canfield for his birthday, though, so anyone that wants in on that is welcome.

Wwhazz, thanks for doing our cat for a week.

There’s not a lot of upcoming events here at Whazzmaster Central– spacebee’s birthday is at the end of the month and at the same time (coincidentally) as my Yearly Start of Daily Wishing It Would Warm Up Already, Dammit.  I got her a birthday gift: The Big Minnie. Black. Clean. Tight Curl. Turquoise bead wrap.  Now that I look at the description that way I can’t decide whether I bought her a hat or a dildo. Say lah vee.

I really, really gotta get TNG on the Tivo.  We’ll make a space for it amid Spacebee’s ten thousand episodes of Criminal Minds.  There must be some room in all that serial killing for Data’s quest for humanity or Troi in a skin-tight leotard.  I assume that somewhere in history someone has already made a joke about a leotard being a retarded leopard, but the word still looks weird when I type it.

Pickles and grapes!

93 thoughts on “Downhill From Here

  1. I just watched Best of Both Worlds, but just part two. My school library has STNG season 4 for some reason so I checked it out. I’m hoping some nerd has the other seasons.

    So I’m working my way though season 4, 1.5 episodes at a time (I turn it on when belly goes to sleep and play cards for 1.5 episodes.) I have to watch it after she goes to bed because she makes fun of Geordi.

    After best of both worlds the episodes are: Picard goes home and has a drunken wine brawl with his brother, Lore kicks Data’s ass, Yar’s sister sports the astonishing toe, Bev has a weird twlight’s zone-like experience, Wharf has a shorty, Wharf has a mommy and daddy, and Riker has a birthday party.

    All in all pretty good, but, at heart, I’m a season one kinda guy. Yar is my favorite charter, but after she dies it’s probably Data.

    My all time favorite episodes are the one where everyone gets wasted and has sex aka data finger drills yar and the one where they all go to the Canfield and the bellman gets killed.

  2. Purse the lips: pu pu pu pu pu pu

    loi loi loi loi

    t t t t t

    errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

  3. look. When I was five years old two men broke into the town hall bank. 30 seconds… 45 seconds… We’re going into the safe. WE NEVER GO FOR THE SAFE! I we’re going into the safe. YOU GOT A DEATH WISH BRO! They killed my parents, the only thing they left behind was a note: “MADD SUCKS”

    BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. they got any good STTNG on youtube? Hulu? Do I gotta order it on netflix? Or what your beardless left thumbed geordy la forge… Jerk.

    captians log 133586398598655: wwhazz is a jerk. Today, on the hollodeck he disappeared my beard right off my face. I was about to fold madd on the river wait, how many episodes is data a damn dealer in the wild west? Or did that episode just imprint itself on my brain or was it over and over. Damn you geordy answer me you damn PBS BASTARD. I know it’s cool now to say riker was useless but I ALWAYS thought dude was useless. No special powers NOTHING. I think he was supposed to fill the “ladies man” role but eff that. Ladies man my ass. Picard should have promoted wharf…. Hahah you called him wharf. Haahahahhahahahaha what was wharf’s role anyway? Bastards

  5. that’s all for the CAL show. Tune in next week when I SOCK IT TO THE SCIENTIST.

    til then better drink your ovaltine,

    love,

    cal

  6. Windows media player will no longer open on my computer. I tried using the command prompts to reset it, and that didn’t work. If I try installing it again, my computer says I already have the latest version of media player. How do I make it work? Is there a better program that the cool kids are using now?

  7. Hmm, QuickTime can play most if not all Windows media. You could try installing that, otherwise you probably have some malware, and if it affects WMP you may be effed because that’s not the easiest thing to uninstall/reinstall.

  8. Silva: “I want to cut his face”

    Me: Nice

    Mir was just interviewed. If he beats Carwin next month he gets Brock again in July. In the interview he said he wants to break his next and kill him in the octagon.

    Here is the quote:

    “I want to fight Brock Lesnar. I hate who he is as a person.”

    “I want to break his neck in the ring. I want him to be the first person that dies to Octagon-related injuries.”

  9. I would like to see Brock ko mir, call, stone cold style, for a can of Bud Light. Take a drink, spit it it out, tell Dana that his kunt light tastes like aids and quit the ufc forever.

  10. Made $10 last night but it was a nightmare. At one point was down $50 but then I watched Roger Rabbit and scored 2nd, 3rd, and 4th in three $3 45 man turbos.

    Puh puh plotiter eddie.

  11. yesterday i had to parallel park behind a smart car in the TIGHTEST SPACE EVER. TSE. yo, that girl was rockin the TSE, YO! anyways, i then noticed that those retarded smart cars have the word “smart”, in pretty big letters, glued in the center of the back end. the ass end.

    i would give madd crazy respeckt to anyone that heat gunned that bitch off and glued on the word “retarded” in the same shiny silver letters.

    do it, pussy.

  12. the smart car left a space the size of another smart car in front of him…. THEY ARE TEAMING UP AGAINST US. WE MUST END THIS NOW. THEY ARE PAIRING OFF WITH FERTILE ALIENS. )!(#^&)&*(!#^()&*#!^()&#!~ ISN’T ANYONE PAYING ATTENTIONS?@^()&#^!%)&(!^#()&

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