Moo Hoo Ha Ha, Part Threeve

Thank god:

Ben Sheets was battered for 10 runs without retiring a batter in his latest poor showing, and the Cincinnati Reds beat the Oakland Athletics 13-5 Monday.

It’s good to know that dude is still terrible in other people’s hands.  We had some good times, Sheetsie, but you had to go and fuck us in the postseason with your typical sprained dick, and then sign with the Rangers and make the Brewers pick up the tab for your dicksprain.  Have fun sleeping on a cot in the Oakland hills and playing for the Moneyball Express.  Keep your chin up! If you get moderately good by the deadline you’ll be traded to the Marlins, Reds, or (gasp!) even the Pittsburgh Pirates.  Your star can only rise, rise, rise… like the home run ball you gave up in the above GDCF.

103 thoughts on “Moo Hoo Ha Ha, Part Threeve

  1. i contend that the “when the dude a chump pump” is really, “and when the dude’ll jump up”…. so really there is no chump involved, invalidating my chump=/=punk counter.

    you should have caught that, counselor.

    buy more intellects.

  2. wait a minute. ONE GOD DAMN MINUTE.

    i always saw that scene as a guy pointing a finger jesting about humpty’s dance technique… but as cal pointed out, regardless of how his intellects were pressed and manipulated to be capable of making such an observation…. an extended finger is not stump like.

    and “a chump pump”? huh? unless of course humpty was lyricizing about a man with a pump action shotgun pointed at him while he was doing the humpty hump. you know what looks like a figure pointed like a stump? a finger wrapped around the trigger of a pump action shot gun.

    humpty is SO fucking HARD.

    STEP OFF, man with his finger on the trigger of a pump action shotgun pointed at me, I’M DOIN’ THE HUMP!

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