Raise a Twank

Found one of the best TNG episodes ever on my dvr today: Second Chances.  My apologies for the length; this one gets tricky.  It also includes the greatest star trek poker scene in media history at 43 minutes in.  Away we go:

JAZZ PARTY IN TEN FORWARD. ANY REQUESTS? NIGHTFOX! bitch. BOODLE-BOODLE. TIME FOR AN AWAY MISSION: WTF?!?!? RIKER NUMBER TWO?! TRANSPORTER REFLECTION OF THE ION SHIELD! EIGGGGGHHHHHTTT YEEAAAAAAAARS! CMD RIKER WANTS WORK, LT RIKER WANTS TROI, TROI WANTS A BONER– TAI CHI! 5 CARD DRAW, NO LIMIT: LT.RIKER BET 50, WORF FOLD, CMD.RIKER STRING RAISE 10(!), DATA CALL 60, LT.RIKER STRING RAISE 100, CMD.RIKER STRING RAISE 20(!!), DATA FOLD, LT.RIKER STRING RAISE 300, CMD.RIKER STRING RAISE “EVERYTHIN YOU GOT LEFT”, LT.RIKER FOLD.  fold? FOLDDDDDDDDD!  DON’T YOU DARE GO OVER MY HEAD! BOODLE-BOODLE: TIME FOR AN AWAY MISSION! WTF? DEEP HOLE IN THE GROUND! HALP! GRAB MY HAND! DROP ME! NO! YES! NO! DATABASE RETRIEVED! THOMAS RIKER, SHIPPING OUT… DON’T FORGET YOUR NEW TROMBONE!

106 thoughts on “Raise a Twank

  1. this is the most hilarious brewers game ever….

    first they promote some deal where you get a prostate exam at miller park, then immediately cut to an old man chewing his cud (and his wife… both in bright retro logo tshirts)… he just kept chewin. such a star they held on him for 10 seconds and then cut back to him a couple minutes later. YOU SEE THIS GUY? GET YOUR PROSTATE CHECKED.

    then the richly toned skinned gentleman surrounded by pale faces contemplatingly stroking his goatee… so gangster. then the mega-hottie and her tag-along chatting up the older gentleman behind them… he leans all the way over like a queer and ignores the game. so gangster.

    maybe it is the copious amounts of kettle one in me, but this game is hilarious.

  2. how come there’s never….. songs. about farting….
    and why does the gas… smell baaaad.

    some-times it’s stink-y… and some-times it’s si-lent
    and some-times it commmmmmmmmes with pooooooooop.

    3 things together. required… for farting.
    the butt-cheeks, the pressure, the smell.

  3. CASEY MGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!*#%^&(!#%*&)(@#*%&@^#)9&!#^)*(&

    VALDEZHEXHEXHEXHEXHEXHEXHEXHEX

Comments are closed.