Hey Aqualung!

Funny thing happened on the way to my connection in the Denver airport: I coughed and my right lung collapsed. “Spontaneous pneumothorax” they tell me. Who’s they? Why, the superb staff at the University Hospital here in Denver! After being whisked from the airport in an ambulance I had tests done and then they put in a chest tube to suck the misplaced air out of my body.

I missed my connection.

Current status: hooked up to a bunch of machines with a tube sticking out of my side. Got some vicodin. There’s a kid up the hall screaming about his finger. They very well may not let me back on the plane (pressurized environment), so maybe I’ll grab my bindle and ride the rails back to Wisconsin. Or maybe I’ll ask them to add a couple more tubes and go all Wolf 359 on cal.

86 thoughts on “Hey Aqualung!

  1. Holy crap dude. LMK if you go all Locutus on us so I can stay away from Wolf 359, k?

  2. Was it a symbiotic relationship with the booze that kept his lungs inflated or his body sending a message not to try that again?

  3. lung : lawn :: booze : weed killer.

    those fucking dandelions will RUIN your shit.

  4. i just made the greatest omelet of all time. a culmination of nearly 30 years experience. perfection.

  5. A crabapple, crabgrass, and crab omelet sounds wonderful right now.

    FREE HOSPITAL WI-FI, DOUCEHBAGS!

  6. I didn’t want those things separately!!!! I want a goddamn omelet with a goddamn crabapple, goddamn crabgrass, and goddamn crab meat (real or imitation) INSIDE IT!!!

  7. how do want it prepared? off the cuff i think i’d dice the crab apples into 1/2″ chunks and saute them with a little brown sugar and the crab grass… not sure if the crab meat should be cold or hot.

  8. i have learned this collapsing of lung has happened to my uncle hank many many years ago. it has not happened since. he flies airplanes all the time. mexican airplanes.

  9. just got the most borderline legalish laser on the market. like 20 times brighter than the last one i had at thugg. gangster.

    LeVar Burton on tim and eric upped him even further on my awesome scale. when he popped on screen it said:

    LeVar Burton
    from “The Star Trek” as Himself

  10. What’s up butts? LET’S EAT GRANDPA! No chest tube, I’ll have the oxygen mask on overnight again, and maybe I’ll be set free tomorrow. Docs ixnayed the train ride because if something happened and my shit blew out we’d be on a train. So we have to drive back, not sure when our journey will begin… perhaps we’ll set out with a spunky talking dog-n-cat and we’ll battle Gargamel along the way.

    LUNG

  11. so what is the doctor saying going forward? can you play tennis? can you do headstands? tripods? you going to be in madison this weekend?

  12. from one genious to another… i have a plan:

    allow your lung’s nervous system to merge with the spirit oak. be one with the spirit oak and be strong. leave no gap unoaked. manage the trunk. manage the spirit.

    OOOOOOOOOOOOHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

  13. i hope you can play tennis. i just played for the first time this year… probably in a whole year… and it occurred to me that i was processing a much more detailed forecast of ball control. i was accused of “show-boating”.

    it’s called winning, BITCH.

  14. I did your cat this am. She was pretty bitchy, but then I gave her one of those corky treats and she lightened up. I also left the $20 I owe you on your desk. Where didya get that cool dice clock?

  15. Discharged! We’re leaving in a rental car in a little bit. Probably be home Thursday.

    Dice clock: awesome gift from uncle dick in exchange for fixing his computer. When I was a kid I’d stare at it every time I was in their house.

    Tennis: any time you want go, showboating bitch. I’ll forecast a topspin serve lands in yo grill.

    NORTH PLATTE, NEBRASKA

  16. very very easy… but you probably just want to buy the controls already assembled. you can get the pieces from happs controls. i haven’t played GT using MAME, but something tells me it wouldn’t be the same. all that emulation eating up clock cycles that should be analyzing how perfectly i stroked the whazzer.

    side note, this is exactly the type of custom woodwork i could do well… not 12″ lathe poker table trunks.

  17. i’m at 81% coming to madison this weekend with the hoards of graduation revelers. i’m taking all challengers at poker, tennis, drinking, tetris, more drinking, and bratwurst.

    i CHALLENGE you to BRATWURST.

    HOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLER

  18. I’m out of town all weekend for a bachelor party, but lung boy is around (I think).

    Next weekend we are up in your neck of the woods (St. Paul or Vagina or some sad sack suburb).

  19. rachel is trying to get me to stay here and go to plymouth to play frisbee golf on saturday. so hard to turn that down. i might not be coming.

  20. Madd and whazz, you clowns around the weekend of June 12? Want to come down and stay at my new house?

  21. CAY-See muC-Gea-HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

    my official drunken holllarit chant phase for 2010 brewers games.

  22. )*(^@&)*(!&#%^)&(!#^ WHY DON’T YOU THROW THE HIGH HEAT?!#%^&()

    999 appearances of SUCKING)(@&$^

    FUCK A TREVOR HOFFMAN.

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