Winning Weekend

Shake-of-the-Day

Spacebee and I headed down Illinois-way for a surprise birthday extravadanza for Spacebee’s Mom.  It was a fun time all around, but the highlight was kinda-sorta an accident.

It was a surprise that spacebee and I would attend, so we had to be kept under lock and key until the party on Saturday night.  As such I demanded to go play golf with my future Brother-in-Law on Saturday morning.  After an early deluge of rain we headed out Cedar Dell for some country golfin’ action.  I played, literally, my worst game of the year and lost $8 to my opponent (almost the max I could lose.)

After a few drinks at the club house we headed to another country tavern so that I could sample the Best Burger in Town.  It was, as advertised, delicious.

Finally, as we moseyed back to the house my ever-alert passenger mentioned in passing, “you realize we’re close to Stoney’s, don’t you?”  Stoney’s is the greatest bar in Illinois, and high in the running for Best Bar Worldwide (though it would never top the Main Depot.)  Stoney’s is 1/2 liquor store and 1/2 bar.  There are two dart boards and Golden Tee classic.  Enough said.

So we stopped in for one (Just One!) and chatted with the bartender and other patron (singular).  Just as we were finishing our drinks my partner sputtered a little bit of drink and said “Quince!” (the bartenders name was Quincy.  I swear.)  “Quince!” he said, “lemme get the shake of the day.”  He plopped a dollar on the bar and rolled for shit.  He passed me the dice cup and said “Zach, you’re up.”  The next things all happened simultaneously:

  • The other patron said “I hope you win but not before I roll.”
  • With one hand I produced a $5 bill and told Quince that I’d need change
  • With the other hand I tipped the cup and rolled five 3’s, the result of which was that…
  • …I won $1000

After that there was lots of running around, yelling, high-fives, and congratulatory High Life’s.  Also: lots of reminiscing about previous winners and the circumstances of the wins.  Also: drinking.

Well, I used up my dice-based luck for the next decade– what did you guys do this weekend?

88 thoughts on “Winning Weekend

  1. I love this from the calchat:

    9:26pm – g_love: what happened to the show of the crazy bald headed dude cheersing friends via a projector and an internet connection?

    Also, why is wolves trying to pay you?

  2. My science project rolls along. I capped my caterpillar sanctuary at 8, but then I found one stuck in a spider web, so I saved him and then I saw a bird trying to eat one of the outdoor pals, so I added him too. So we were at 10 until one died mid metamorphosis. I put his body on the bird feeder and bird ate it.

    So the count is 9, but three of them are in chrysalis, so 6 pillars and 3 pods.

  3. I also try to help the outdoor pals. I scare the birds when they are pecking around the milkweed and move trucking caterpillars back to the milkweed when they decide to road trip.

    Today I found a tiny one on a non-milkweed plant, so I moved him back. Might be helping dumb ones pass on dumb genes. Belly thinks I’m disturbing nature but I think that I’m god of this yard.

  4. The chrysalis is really pretty: blue and green with gold fleck.

    The worm before the cryssie is not: it hangs upside down in a “J” shape for a few hours and then turns black and sheds its head. Homie does not need a chewing head anymore, needs a nectar sucking head.

  5. Party: my house at 2:00 on Saturday.

    UP: Sunday-Friday. Feel free to come and go as you please.

  6. i drive up with you on sunday and come home tuesday night… or i could show up late wed night and then i have a wedding in green bay on saturday. either way i’d have to be working during the day.

  7. in a continued attack on humanity’s intellect, the home depot is broadcasting a new wave of commercials for thier “behr premium plus ultra interior paint and primer in one” product… obviously the product alone could never include primer… primer is a separate first coat. prime. first. a first coat. if you just paint your wall once, then you didn’t prime. if you paint twice now you have more primer above your first layer of paint. THE PRODUCT IS A LIE AT BEST.

    so now, they are playing the nelly angle: #1.

    so this hypocritical product claiming to break new grounds in paint assumes you need more information before you are convinced. so try this: “the only paint and primer in one rated #1″…….. uh… why would there ever be more than one thing rated #1? why not “the #1 rated paint and primer in one”? were the ratings on hypocritical suckiness? your small print just said consumer survey, so i’m guessing it was hypocritical suckiness, lie at best, junky colored goop.

    premium plus ultra??????????

    more like sucky minus extra sucky.

  8. cal, so what you do think about a november date to start formulating a class action lawsuit?

    so we just go against the home depot, or just behr, or both? i think we have to go after everyone, but i believe factors that i might not be aware of, that you were forced to memorize at the threat of $150,000 of assetless debt, might exist.

    cal, you are the #1 lawyer according to me. you are free to tell anyone you want that you are #1. tell nelly.

  9. o’neil is obviously a better fit for any conceivable requirements of a lawyer… but you, cal, are still way the #1 lawyer.

    (* details of ranking attributes and methods private)

  10. awesome. wtf is that music coming from demesticated.com????????? she’s my kind of rain? poor crabs.

    and why they hell is it called that? why not SnailRoom2000? dude you SUCK. i don’t need a legal education to tell you that.

    SNAILROOM2000. DUH.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    how about SnailRoom2000.gov? jfkdjfkajfdkajfdkajfdkjfdkajfakjfkadjfdajfdkajfkadjf

    all my fantasy baseball dudes are hurt. i hate my life! that reminds me wwhazz you have to take care of the russians while i’m busy attending to my my international business. marriage is a cover. i am doing big buisness. don’t ask. all the pieces are in place.

  11. Email me your info. I’ll right the ship. You are in a real dogfight with K-Licker this week. I’m sorta in contention for the 1st round bye but tee really fucked me by not settign his lineup last week and going 0-12 to mandelbaum. Now Mandy has showtime doing the same thing. Boo. Why can’t people understand that a fantasy team is a responsibility?

  12. lose $20…… not have to do something………………. lose $20… not have to DO something………

    lose $20.

  13. Tachinid Flies have taken two of my babies. They burst out of the chatterworm like an alien in Alien.

    Fuckers.

  14. I’m missing out.

    I used to watch “Lucky Louie” back when I had HBO, though. Does that count for anything?

  15. Air hockey news: Fun World in Waukesha is going out of biz and holding a liquidation sale on Dec 4. I’m gonna have to stop in a scope out their machines.

    HOLLLLLLLLLLERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRARRRRRRRRRRRRRITITYYYYYYYY

  16. Last night I had a dream that I was playing 2-4 limit Omaha high. I got in a capped pot with KKAJ and the flop was AKJ. My opponent bet, I raised, he raised ffffffuck ,AA really? I called. Turn was another A, but now I’m worried about AK. He bets, I only have a few chips left, so I raise to get it all in.

    Turns out, dream guy had QQJ10 and he was super pissed his flopped str8 didn’t hold up. What a dick. SHIIIIIIPPPP IT!!!!!!!!

    Two hands later I made a royal with the board and my queen in my 88Q9 (my 8 and 9 were suited). I know it’s not even a valid hand cuz I’m only using one card, but the dealer called over the boss and he let it stand and all royals pay $200 cash and a free hotel room.

    Making money in my dreams!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  17. is shit going on tonight? i was going to leave tomorrow morning. i could come tonight… leave around 7ish. HOLLLLLLLLLARIT if there is a blanket and pillow somewhere dry for me to use AT NO CHARGE)(&!#^)(&!*#^

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