Thirty Two, Homey

It’s my birthday! Well, on Sunday. Until then you can dream little dreams of me being 31, but on Sunday you’d better get your shit straight. Thirty. Two. Homey.

So what I’m out of survivor so fast- I didn’t want that garbage anyways.  I used Dom P to good effect once in my life: the first time spacebee came to visit my bachelor’s hovel in California.  She was like “uh, this is where you live?” and I was like “nevermind that, beautiful, look: DOM P!”  As far as she was concerned, it was perfectly normal that gainfully-employed software engineers in California had shitty apartments in back of car washes, yet still owned arcade machines and drank Dom P out of plastic cups. She knew I was baller, and I married her! Now it’s too late for her: she knows that I merely won that Dom P by picking football games like a pro; it had absolutely nothing to do with my gainful employment.

So anyways, it’s my birthday.  I’m gonna celebrate it the only way I know how: with scotch.  Come to think of it, how did I celebrate birthdays before scotch? A dark period in my life, folks.

Go Packers! Beat the Bears! Beat the Bears!

85 thoughts on “Thirty Two, Homey

  1. i don’t think i sung “play us a song”… my fandom of alliteration and farting seem to make “sing us a song” or “fart us a song” or “fart us a fart” much more likely… but again, i was way drunk and don’t remember anything.

    so so so so SOOOOOOOOO happy i lost my check card. the CSV2 number on my new card is 777! JACKPOT!

  2. wait… is it CVS2? wait… should i not have said what it was? DON’T STEAL MY IDENTITY, CHINAMEN!#%(*^!#(^*&!#

  3. i’m very interested if the apartment buildings on 19th st near taylor from my paper route still have the same stink.

  4. madd- thanks for the permission to release the farting song to you tube– i plan to do this this weekend and then post a link on whazzmaster. i unfortunately did not video “and all that poop”. It might have been better than “the farting man” but you can’t look back in these situations you just have to move forward and rejoice in what you have.

  5. dana white is trying to start a race war…. it’s the first move he has made that i appreciate.

  6. I’m ok with letting the north woods be the north woods. They don’t need us city folk judging them.

  7. quality is only going up. bought a 35′ active USB cable for more flexibility with camera placement. then i bought a mixing board with 2 phantom powered XLR mic jacks, and 2 stereo inputs… got a 50′ XLR cable to put a mic in the basement, then the output from the computer and the tivo go into the other 2 jacks, so i can directly pipe in mp3s from the computer, or the tv sound, or me yelling MUC GUH HEEEEEEEEEEEEEE too loadly… and the board goes back into the line in on the polecam server.

    i even emailed the ww.com website operator, and he assured me i couldn’t get in trouble for rebroadcasting anything because they won’t release personally identifiable information, and even so, him and the servers are in a country that doesn’t have copyright laws.

    i really should make my own stream server… i hate depending on 3rd parties.

  8. wwhazz– how come there was a bottle of fleishmans on the counter this morning? was i supposed to take this with my lunch? or did dutty get it out?

  9. up to 86.10 on stars.

    bombed out of 22 multi… 12 pay, got 50th on a chipleader size pot where i had flush draw, nut low draw with counterfeit protection, and a wrap wheel draw. he called all in with 1 pair of Ks… board paired river. GAY.

  10. WHISKY MANHATTANNIN’ WEEEEEEEEEEEEE

    big boy ploitin’ and trubbin’ soul train with the cosby show coming up next. alvin is going to share his thoughts on doctors and lawyers! JUICY! ALLLLLLLLLLLLVIN?!#^*)&!#^)(&!#%)&(!#%

    dear cal, you suck, love, no one because you suck, sincerely, you suck.

  11. 3k to 6k to 3k to 6k to 3k to 5k to 0k.

    44th or some shit. 12 pay.

    in 3rd in the money in a 5… 1st is over 500

  12. yo cal… crack that big law book… 43(a) of the federal Lanham Act… prohibits false implications of endorsement… i think this is what i need to stop these assholes from lying to me through my audio/visual media presentation device through over the air encoded transmissions.

    WHAT DO I GET IF I WIN? what happens? are the fools fined and all that skrill goes to the gov, or are legal costs paid, anything?

  13. cal, do i get to shoot anyone if i win? like 1 shot anything goes? as many shots as i can fire in 1 day? am i liable of someone catches a ricochet? does 00 buckshot count as a single shot?

  14. yo cal, just had some tortellini pasta w/pesto… get it? TORTellini.

    I AM GOING TO SUE YOU.

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